Rant about the best man

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Justseeingwhatsnormal Posts: 1
Recently married and really need to let off steam about the best man! I'm not that well up on what happens in regards to paying for accomodation & clothing for the best man or what is the best mans role on the day, but I would imagine we have been more than generous. We bought him a lovely tux for the day - suit, shoes, shirt, bow tie and cufflinks - the works. Also paid for his room the night of the wedding - and following night as having an party in my parents place the following day and asked him to come along and that we would cover the cost of the room as it meant as lot to my hubbie to have him there. All good. Then a couple of weeks before he said he didnt feel comfortable travelling the 2 hours to the wedding on the day and that he would like to be there from the evening before. We paid for the room for the night before too. All in all this was a staggering €1400 but it was our decision to buy the tux as his gift and the room etc as we didnt want him to have to be out of pocket in any way. At the same time we had the expectation of having a best man.... I have to say that very little support was provided on the day - he has been best man before and said he was well versed on his role! - an issue that morning was sorted out by my own brother and not the best man which I am furious over as my brother had to be called from work. Throughout the photo session he was continuously calling to see where we were and where he should be! there was at least 3 calls in the 1 hour we were doing pics, even the photographer was complaining about it. not great to have to keep answering the phone and stressing the groom. presents given to him were found on the floor and handed to me by the hotel staff the next day saying they assumed they were for me as they found them on the floor in the reception room. We eventually found out who gave the presents and he told us he had given them to the best man. He mentioned his wife 8 times in the best mans speach and didnt know what to do to hand the microphone to the priest for his speech as we hadnt know the priest would come until the last minute. He complained to my hubbie about this and a few minor things on the day that were nothing but obviously a big deal for him...and my husband had to sort them out. . Then to top it all off he never arrived to the party the next day!!! He mentioned to hubbie the next day that he may not come - my husband told him he would be very disappointed if he didnt as he really wanted him there- but he still didnt turn up. We got a call the morning after the party to ensure that we had paid for the room and breakfast so that there wouldnt be an issue with him checking out.... and that was it! No word from him since! I feel its very rude. But maybe i am biased as I was paying. Anyway would just like to let off steam - dont want to bring it up with my OH as he feels bad about it and I dont want to be discussing it but would love to see what people think. Thanks
S WOW Posts: 412
Oh my God! He sounds like an idiot. I would be so pissed off if I were your hubby.
LadyLizzie Posts: 1724
Reading down through that he sounded like a useless friend, no support on the day to your hubby and that is bad enough. But when I got to the last part about him ringing the next morning to check his room was paid for, I thought what an ungrateful pr!ck. Some friend he turned out to be, not to bother going on the last night to wish you well, perhaps say thanks... Some people don't realise it is a privilege to be asked to be best man.
vidia Posts: 2960
You're not at all being unreasonable, what a toss pot. Was his wife at your wedding?
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
Oh god what an ungrateful prick! Can't believe he had the nerve to stay at the second night at the hotel which ye paid for and not go to the party which was the very reason ye were paying. Also the cheek of him phoning to ask if ye had paid? Seriously the nerve! I would have felt like saying no actually we didn't pay cause we presumed you fucked off home when you weren't at the party.