Rant, Just because its my first doesn't mean I'm clueless.

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cbtb Posts: 413
Good morning Ladies, Bit of a rant here. I'm sick of people speaking to me as if I'm stupid. Yes I haven't had a child yet but I have helped mind my nieces and nephews from birth. I was out last night and my friend kept speaking to me as if I was stupid. I know there is going to be a huge difference when its our own but do people seriously think all 1st time parents haven't ever seen a baby before. TBH I don't mind when people give me advice its when I'm subjected to a lecture about how I'm feeling, how the rest of my pregnancy is going to go, the way we HAVE to get our baby into a routine straight away, how to breastfeed (from someone who didn't) :eek thats when I get a little irritated. Maybe I am being a little intolerant but I'm in my early 30's so stop treating me like a 4 year old. Ah that feels better, thanks girls.
Grunge Bride Posts: 2529
I hear ya sister, that kind of thing can be annoying depending on how the "help" is given! Hard to find the happy medium though between people giving advice / info on their own experiences (e.g. if a certain buggy or type of bottle was crap - saves you buying it!) versus telling you what to do with your child solely based on their experience (doesn't mean that's representative, all children are different). All you can do is listen and smile, and use the bits of advice you choose to use!!!!
chicam Posts: 1169
I agree with Grunge Bride - listen and smile! And make a note for yourself never to be one of those people that lecture new mums-2-be on what was good for you etc. etc. :eek I do agree that other mothers treat newbies like they're thick (not all, but some) but I guess they just think they're being helpful as they probably remember how overwhelmed they felt...just like we feel as newbie pregnant people!
cbtb Posts: 413
Thanks girls, thought it was just me. Some peoples advice is very helpful and is give in such a nice way. Last night I was subjected to 4 hours on what I HAVE to do which pissed me off. My friend is usually helpful but last night after a few drinks I think she thought she was Gina Forde. :o0 I really just needed to get it off my chest. Grunge bride you are so right it really does depend on how the advice is given.
princess! Posts: 348
oh i know how you feel, i actually had my dh aunt ask me if i was planning to BF or bottle feed when i said BF she started to lecture me on how bottle feeding was "better" for the baby and how i didnt know what i was doing i was making a mistake. i couldnt believe it :eek :eek :eek
Avril Hiswife Posts: 1743
cbtb - about three different people have lectured me on the importance of a routine >:o( I don't intend to start off with one, I'd rather see if the baby finds their own, as they usually do (more compatible with breastfeeding). Although if, after a few days or weeks of that, I am dying for a strict routine. THEN I will send DH out and buy Gina Ford or the prescriptions of some other childless guru!! I have a feeling that it is like everything else, what works well for some babies and parents might not work for others. But I have no intention of making life difficult for myself by setting myself strict routines from the start, when there is no evidence they are good for babies and some experts say they are not. If other parents find them useful, I am happy for them but wish they would have enough respect to know that we will just do whatever is best for our family, just like they will do for theirs. It is almost as bad as the gruesome horror birth-stories that everyone seems eager to tell me about now O:| WHY? Hopefully it won't be that bad for us, and if it is we will deal with it afterwards! No point in getting in a state about things we can do nothing about. princess! your dh's aunt is ignorant in every sense - she has no idea what she is on about and no manners either!!
Anonymous Posts: 24542
If you think it's bad now, it gets a thousand times worse [b:kink3m80]after[/b:kink3m80] babs is born. If I hear "In [b:kink3m80][i:kink3m80]my[/i:kink3m80][/b:kink3m80] day..." one more time, I'll deck my MIL. O:| Sort out your restraining orders now, before it's too late.
Chococat Posts: 1632
[quote="Ditz":3tgv3ife]If you think it's bad now, it gets a thousand times worse [b:3tgv3ife]after[/b:3tgv3ife] babs is born. If I hear "In [b:3tgv3ife][i:3tgv3ife]my[/i:3tgv3ife][/b:3tgv3ife] day..." one more time, I'll deck my MIL. O:| Sort out your restraining orders now, before it's too late.[/quote:3tgv3ife] I found that the worst, In my day we did this & it didn't do us any harm When I had X i did this.....you should try it That bottle is too cold, heat it more...that's what I used to do & X loved it The list is endless. DH had to say something to them before I went mad & it soon stopped.
Jeidi Posts: 3128
Was in a baby shop the other dau with MIL and pointed out a lovely rocking chair ( handy for breastfeeding!) and she said... with horror in her eyes... "Oh you're not going to breastfeed are you?" like it was the most disgusting thing ever. I gave her a pitying smile as if to say "My God you are so backward" and told her I was going to give it a try anyway. Thats number 1.... number 2.. people telling me we'll have to get rid of the dogs when babs comes.. eh no we dont... I could go on all day
madhatter01 Posts: 495
I too can soo relate to this and its mainly my family that is doing it! Not even half way through pg and ppl lecturing you is just so unbelievable. Ppl have no manners and respect. Esp when it's your 1st and they have their own kids, treating u like u havent a clue is so irritating. Oh u have to do this that and the other. Ehh f off! Yday I had one family member say, so what names have you chosen. I said we hadnt decided. So they started thrashing out a few, we all joined in, I said well I like x for a name and low and behold ' Ughhhh you CANT call a baby that'. Like WTF. So I told them all to P*ss off and they will find out what the name is when babs is born..then just to p*ss them off even more I said I will not be having visitors in the hosp so every1 will wait until IM ready and they can visit at home. Their faces CLASSIC >:o) >:o) >:o)