I had to come on to RANT about what happened earlier this eve with my H2B...can you please advise if you think I jumped the gun or whether I was justified?!
Yes...wasn't going to be the first to reply but thought well...i think you were a tad!
Surely your H2B can bring a friend around without it having to be announced or planned? Don't get me wrong..I truly understand a long week and being delighted to sit down with some vino and a Tv and I get why it would have annoyed you. But it just disturbed your modest plans for your night that's all and in a happy warm house.....these things happen...it's life. I'm not saying yours isn't but to your H2 B's friend storming up to bed didn't exactly give him a warm welcome?
They didn't arrive in stupid drunk or anything..they just came in VERY early to say hello to you and watch the game...Your H2 B was probably all proud bringing his friend home to say hello to you and have a bit of craic?
What you think? Maybe? Most girls would be delighted that their partner did this...maybe I am wrong and read this wrong but yes I think you were totally wrong...okay a heads up would've been nice but so what really?
He came home to you and all proud and felt comfortable enough bring his friend back to this lovely cool woman and now you have embarrased him to be honest. I think you know this to yourself.
Look .............no Big Deal and its not huge thing you have done wrong...but yes you owe him an apology. You wouldn't like it if this happend to you. Things aren't always planned they just happen.
I'd be annoyed if I arrived home with a friend and my H2B stormed off in a huff. I'd be mortified in front of my friend and I'm sure she'd feel really awkward. That's just me though!
Anyway, I think you should just say to him you're sorry about last night, but in future it would be nice for him to give you a heads up when he's bringing people over
I can see why you feel bad, but I can also see why you were annoyed with him.
He told you we was going out, and then turned up un-announced with a friend. I think he should have called or text you, just to let you know he was on his way back. Like, what did he think you were gonna be doing? Of course you were gonna be in your PJs, settling in for a quiet night.
I think he was a bit selfish.
To be honest, I might being a bit anti men as I had a row with the OH last night too over something stupid, stormed off to bed to read a magazine (without dinner) and have woken up just now (waaaaaaaayyyy too early for a Saturday) fully clothed, make up still on and minging breath as I didn't brush my teeth
First up - just to say, my pet peeve is people calling unannounced. I would always send at least a text before calling on someone, just to make sure they're home mainly, and I don't like it when the doorbell rings when I'm not expecting it. I would expect H2B to text me to let me know someone was coming over, just so I could get out of my PJs and be respectable!
(In saying that, it's only a peeve. If people call unannounced it's only a split second of 'grrrr' and then I'm grand. We've made a point of telling our family and friends that the door is always open, so if I have a split second of 'grrr' that's all it is and I do it privately.)
So I understand the 'I'm in my PJs and now you're here hogging the telly' moment that you had. I do.
In saying that, having words and storming off to bed in front of the friend was a no no. You embarrassed your H2B in front of his friend and that's not right. I think you know that yourself. I would be horrified if my H2B did that to me and would lose respect for him.
It would have been better to say jokingly to him 'Hey Mister, you two are staying here in the kitchen watching the rugby, I've Gossip Girl ready to go inside with my dinner. Bring me in a mojito when it's ready!' You could still have had your night on the couch, you know?
Apologise. I think you want to anyway, as you're feeling bad. Just like a plaster, rip it off, say sorry quickly and get it over with!
I think you had every right to be annoyed! it would have been better not to say anything in front of the friend but this would really annoy me and DH knows it.
The same way as i would text him or give him a ring if was out and wanted to bring friends back, it's just about having a bit of consideration for the other person.
. But I know how it is to not be able to hold it in and have to say something right away.
Somehow though I dont think he will see it your way, sigh men.
answer - yes you had the right to be annoyed! i had the same plans as you last night. Husband went out to watch the rugby and I was delighted so I could watch my recorded episodes of Gossip Girl. If my husband landed in unannounced with his friend for drinks I would be seriously pissed off. I also cant stand people not texting before they show up at someone's house. The only difference is I would never fight with my husband in front of anyone, Id wouldnt want his friends thinking I was a bitch
TBH I think you were bang out of order. If I brought a friend home - for drinks or otherwise- and my DH behaved like that to them I would be disgusted. It's his home too. You say in your OP you were secretly delighted to have a night to yourself, so it's not as if you told him to go out and leave you be for the evening and he ignored you. You were in bad form after your game and you took it out on him, that's what it sounds like tbh.
Imagine how he must feel in front of his friend, and imagine what his friend must think of you and your relationship with his best friend??
I remember years ago a close friend invited a few of us to her house after the pub, on a saturday night. Her then fiance was in a bad mood and had gone to bed early, and when he haerd us talking in the living room he came down and threw a hissy fit. It was years before anyone would voluntarily go to their house again, we felt horribly unwelcome. He later apologised and that helped, but I know the impression I had of him and their relationship was very poor for a long time. Rudeness to guests is my pet peeve.
just been reading through everything.
initially i thought yes i would be annoyed that he brought someone home when im here etc etc
but so long as i could continue to watch what i wanted and they were just drinking, then what harm.
it also depends on the 'words' you had. did you just assume they were going to rugby watch and you wouldnt be able to watch your shows. (sometimes i assume stuff and get the wrong end of stick and have the arguement in my head!!)
or did he say that they came home for drinks and rugby?
the latter would annoy me more cause he should respect that you both live there and he cant just come home and expect to take the remote out of your hand!
i wouldnt have left the tv room though. i would have stayed there and watched my shows, they wouldnt be long leaving or going to drink their mojitos in the kitchen!!
maybe apologise for your reaction but not your feelings. there is a big difference. if you feel strongly about something it is hard to be sorry about it, but you can apologise for how you put those feelings across and how you reacted. if you approach it in an adult manner, he will prob realise that what he did wasnt fair.(if it was to take the remote and watch tv ahead of you)
Green Bean 1982
I wouldnt mind the friend coming back as I often see my oh friends coming in and would prefer it as his friends often go out and not even let their oh know if they are not coming home and stay out all night boozing, id go mad!!!
maybe just say to him that ud prefer in the future if he gave u a heads up as u were planning a night of girly tv and time on ur own and dont like his friends seeing u in ur lovely dressing gown
try and make a joke out of it, beats saying sorry
he should have called u to let u know the plans have changed, u could have bn walking around naked after putting tan on or something (something i often do