Hello....it's me again. I thought things could not get worse but it turns out they can and have. I discovered last week that my husband has become very friendly with a woman from work over the past 8 months to the point that they are texting each other non-stop..... I don't know exactly how much but certainly 20 times a day some days, even when we were on holidays.
I feel so sick, stupid and so betrayed. I don't think they are having an affair but I can now see that my husband has completely checked out of our relationship for months now because he had someone else to be emotionally involved with.
His phone has been glued to his hand recently, last week when I asked him to borrow it to take a picture, he said no which I thought was strange. However, last Sunday morning at 9.30am, a text pops up from this work colleague, with a picture of herself from a place she was on holidays. He told me they are just friends and she has been a great outlet for him. She is much easier to talk to than me and if he didn't have that friendship, then he doesn't think we would still be together at this point. (I can't understand how he doesn't see the link between what he is doing and the damage it's done to our relationship). I asked him to stop texting her and not to respond to any texts and he said he will/has but I can't know for sure. BTW, she is married (according to my husband), which confuses me even more. What kind of a woman would do this to her husband?
I have told him I love him and I want our marriage to work but that he needs to feel like this too. He said he doesn't know what he wants as things between us are so difficult and hard and he doesn't want to be in this position again in a couple of years time. Again, I can't understand why he is acting like he has no control over his actions and if he doesn't want to be in this place again, stop lying to me and stop pushing me away.
Unbelievably (to me), he has gone to a work party this afternoon and his colleague will be there. Am I stupid in thinking that he should realise that he shouldn't have gone and he should spend time with me instead? I am not normally a needy person but I don't know how much more of this I can take before I ask him to leave and there will be no going back.
I went to a counsellor the other day and she told me to stop focusing on him and just focus on me for a few days so that is why I am on here.....does anyone have any advice on how to stop my mind going into overdrive and to stop me driving myself crazy? I need to learn how to quiet my mind.
(p.s. I know what I should probably do but I'm not mentally and emotionally capable of that just yet so please don't judge me).