RSVP's & Mind Reading

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Jawl Posts: 8881
What is it with this? :o0 I showed SIL2b our invites last evening, as at long last things seem to be on an even keel with her. He has a LOT of sisters, and they seem to take it in turns. But tip wood, most of them are okay just now. Anyway she was mad about them, and commended me on my handiwork. I was like "Open the RSVP, it matches, it matches" all :hyper: about the whole thing. Then I asked Mr. Jawl if he thought we should put a stamp on each RSVP, to which he said no, as it wouldn't be beyond anybody to stick a 50c stamp on the RSVP and fling it in a post box. And she says "Well we won't be sending back our RSVP, there's no need to". I said "it would be helpful if you could please, as it will assist me in my table planning". She's still looking at me weirdly :o0 But why do people feel like they don't need to RSVP to weddings?? With often over 100 guest to keep track of, why do people feel they are so special that the B&G will just know?? I've included an RSVP in my Day Invitations, I've even addressed the RSVP envelopes with my parents address in pretty gold pen :o0 But I've also included my parents phone number and our phone number, so one way or another we'll be able to keep track. Despite going to the expense of making RSVP's, I'm going to be chasing people aren't I?? :o0 My God, they will have 6 weeks to put a stamp on the envelope and put it in the post. I've always done it when invited to weddings, because it's a simple thing to do, and half because I know the B&G will get a kick out of it :o0
cheekywife2011 Posts: 1076
Jawl you will not believe the amount of people you end up chasing about RSVPs our RSVP date is tomorrow and there are still at least 20 people that havent replied have started texting people yesterday to try and get the list finalised its unbelievable how people just dont bother replying then when you contact them oh well of course im going eh hello i dont have crystal ball!!
queen30 Posts: 1551
Probably just because she is his sister. im wont be expecting my or OH's family to send us RSVPs as we already know they are coming. id be annoyed if other people didnt send theirs back though. i can already forsee that itll be "the lads" who dont bother replying.
StupidSexyFlanders Posts: 8402
Our RSVP date is the 11th and we're still waiting on 16 RSVPs. A few of those are people who haven't sent back the actual RSVP but have mentioned that they are coming or have booked their room etc. but it's still annoying that they couldn't be bothered to stick the pre-stamped, pre-addressed envelope in the bloody postbox! Others haven't been in touch at all to say whether they're coming or not. I think it leaves a bad taste in the mouth to have to ring people when you've given them 10 weeks to reply and all they had to do was tick a box and put the envelope in a postbox.
MizMelanie Posts: 1443
Yeah it's so annoying isn't it. In fairness she is his sister so I guess she felt that you both definitely knew she'd be coming. None of my or OH's brothers and sisters even got an invite :eek :ooh Well actually they got them after the wedding - to have as a keepsake but not before!! We ended up chasing a bunch of people as well, some people told our parents they'd be coming but not us, some people made zero contact with us or our parents before the day but we knew they'd be there and they were. Very annoying and irritating but it happens to everyone Jawl so don't feel alone!!
Bazinga T McBinkers Posts: 4718
Now I don't mean to alarm you... but I received a grand sum of 15 RSVPs from 150 guests - 10%!! Thank god I wasn't having a proper wedding meal - but still had to overestimate on food for the evening and night. So overspent on that. Sometimes people are complete idiots, like your great aunt Muriel, who lives 10 mile out the road landing on the day - What?? Sure did ye not KNOW I was coming??
Smileykaz Posts: 7296
Unfortunately yes, you'll be expected to turn into Mystic Meg. Most of our guests were great, the RSVPs flooded in. But on our RSVP date we still had about 20 couples who hadn't replied. We left it a few more days, just in case they had dropped the card in the post on the actual RSVP date and were just running a little late. We got a few more replies in those few days. But the majority of people, we had to text or ring. And I was a little disappointed because we didn't get one apology or excuse for them not replying. Nobody acknowledged that they had got a formal written invitation to our wedding and hadn't replied. Nobody said 'Oh my God I'm sorry, I was working mad hours/the kids were sick/our house exploded and I totally missed the date. Of course we'll be there.' Nothing like that. Just simply 'Hi Smileykaz, No, we won't be able to attend your wedding'. or Hi Smileykaz, Yes, we have booked our room for your wedding, we'll be there.' No acknowledgement whatsoever that they had to be chased and that at that stage they were ten days past the RSVP date. I thought it was a little odd and rude to be perfectly honest. I've never not RSVPd to a wedding. One wedding we didn't RSVP until the date itself and we apologised profusely for being so tardy with our response. It's just something I would never do, even years ago before I was planning my own wedding I knew it was bad manners to simply ignore an invitation. I tell ya, planning a wedding has been a real eye opener with regard to basic common decency and manners!
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="MizMelanie":1cqjwok9]Yeah it's so annoying isn't it. In fairness she is his sister so I guess she felt that you both definitely knew she'd be coming. None of my or OH's brothers and sisters even got an invite :eek :ooh Well actually they got them after the wedding - to have as a keepsake but not before!! We ended up chasing a bunch of people as well, some people told our parents they'd be coming but not us, some people made zero contact with us or our parents before the day but we knew they'd be there and they were. Very annoying and irritating but it happens to everyone Jawl so don't feel alone!![/quote:1cqjwok9] Yeah, my own brother and sil told me I don't need to waste an invite on them. That as siblings I'd know. The outlaws need em though. For instance this sister last night, they will be 5 people on her invite. Her, her hubby, her son, her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend. Her daughter's boyfriend is a garda, so doesn't know if he'll be able to get off work or not. Exactly why I need them to RSVP, as they are such VIP's in their own heads, they won't bother telling me! :o0 Also for the whole +1 situation.
MizMelanie Posts: 1443
Ah yeah it's different when they all have families of their own - all our siblings are younger and mainly single so it wasn't an issue! It's just one of those things you'll have to resign yourself to - chasing the few VIPs as you say, who think you'll know by osmosis that they're coming. Smileykaz we found the exact same thing. A couple of people apologised for the lateness of the rsvp (but not with an excuse you know, it was just, oh god yeah sorry, yeah we'll be there etc). It bothered me too esp since our invites said to rsvp by phone or email - it wasn't exactly time consuming. We had one woman text back saying "oh yes of course I'll be there weather permitting, that's why I was waiting, do ye think it'll go ahead? Anyone I know in the xxx area has been snowed in for days" (this was before Christmas). I tell ya I had a few choice responses ready for that text but DH stoppped me. Honestly. Do ye think it'll go ahead!!! Aaargh!!! O:| O:|
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="Angel Doodle":1axzdfmk]Now I don't mean to alarm you... but I received a grand sum of 15 RSVPs from 150 guests - 10%!! Thank god I wasn't having a proper wedding meal - but still had to overestimate on food for the evening and night. So overspent on that. Sometimes people are complete idiots, like your great aunt Muriel, who lives 10 mile out the road landing on the day - What?? Sure did ye not KNOW I was coming??[/quote:1axzdfmk] What's even worse are those who RSVP and still don't turn up, my brother had to pay for 6 meals, and no apologies.