21st October 2008 21:24This will be a long one anyway…cause all my posts are - regardless of what they are about!! Little Cian was born 2nd October, by elective C-Section, and weighed in at 8lb 5.5oz, 9 days early… It took us nearly 3yrs to conceive this little miracle, and he was the result of a clomid pregnancy. I had started clomid in October 2007, got my BFP in February 2008 and so the mad journey began! So a year after starting clomid almost to the day - little Cian was born! I can honestly say the pregnancy was going fine until August when I started fainting and was admitted to hospital, had a false labour beginning of September and severe SPD from then on really, my crutches were my only means of travelling, and even that was a struggle. My pelvis felt like it was absolutely shattered…the pain was excruciating most of the time, and physiotherapy was great until I’d get home in the evening and he’d go crazy baby dancing and undo all the work the physiotherapist had done!! Got my date for section on 25th September, where my poor consultant took shocking pity on me, and booked me in for 2nd October. I spent the days running up to the 2nd feeling, excited, terrified, nervous, and emotional…and the lack of sleep was shocking, I kept waking up dreaming of my past section with DS1, where I was unfortunate enough to be one of the unlucky ones that an epidural didn’t work on, and so felt the section itself, I ended up being put under general anaesthetic just after DS was born and both myself and DS were very ill for a while after, and I didn’t see him til he was 2 days old. Because of this I was so nervous coming up to this section, I kept waking with nightmares the nights before the ‘big’ day, and no amount of chats with consultant was putting my mind at ease about the epidural. So the 1st October I spent the day cleaning the house…this was difficult in itself as I really couldn’t get around, I did too much that day and by that evening had lost the use of my right leg and hip…it sounds extreme but it was just the spd at its finest really. Had the ‘last supper’ at 10pm the night before and took my pre - meds for the section the following day. Spent the night twisting and turning and woke at 6am had a shower, and got ready to leave, my mam’s DP was bringing us to the hospital that morning…I was starved...had been fasting since night before and I was getting fairly ratty with lack of food and fluids! I looked like a broken lego man going into hospital that morning…I was actually dragging my leg behind me…I just thought my entire body was going to give up before they got the baby out! We arrived at the hospital at 7.30am, and I am sitting in my bed by 7.45am, I presumed at this stage we’d be down for section very soon, and so I began to feel very excited…midwife came to tell me then we were last on the list for the day so we were to expect to be seen by 2pm…I was starved and thirsty and she still said to keep away from food and drink… 2pm came and went, midwife told us then that emergency sections were delaying the elective ones but I should be seen by 4pm. 4pm came and went, and I demanded DH go to the shop and get me a bottle of water and a pack of sweets to chew on…he did…with fear in his eyes he handed them over…and how I didn’t choke on the bottle is a mystery… At 6pm I thought we weren’t going to be seen that day and had started to text all my friends and family telling them it’ll be the 3rd October now…midwife still was telling us not to give up hope and to sit in TV room and she’d come get us when we were called…Emerdale had just started when I saw her running down the hall waving…I turned to dh and said…’she’s a fu*king looney…is she waving at us??’ She runs in screaming ‘quick come on, come on…they’re ready for you…’ herself and DH leg it down to my room…I’m not sure how long it took them to realise I wasn’t with them…I was trying to get out of TV room (remember I couldn’t walk like…) when they both come running back and try hurry me on…I swear to god they nearly dragged me down to my room, people were staring at us…if they ran any faster my dead leg would have been blowing in the wind!! She literally striped me when I got to the room, there really wasn’t any time to cry with the pain when she was lifting my legs to take of my pants….I’m sure other spd suffers understand this…and she had to get the surgical stockings on me too…but again my legs were no help to her so DH holds them up for midwife to pull stockings up…and she hit me in the face with her elbow she was pulling so hard…so I’d a nice fat lip going down to theatre!! We get down to the theatre by 7.30pm and we are ready to be brought in…and just as they begin wheeling my bed…we are put on hold again for another emergency …they let us in the hall tho, so we could just be brought straight in after emergency section…during this time tho, I began to panic massively about getting the epidural, I was convinced again it wouldn’t work and I’d feel it and have to relive the first experience… I met with a midwife who sat with me and spoke to me about the epidural they give for elective sections….honestly the staff in CUMH are amazing…she had calmed me - but then DH was freaking out, as it was a bad experience for him also the first time, and we were both kinda panicked again by the time I was called in….This was the time also we were told, that I could have had tea and toast at 6am that morning and I could also have had water throughout the day…I was like What the Fu*k….I nearly ripped the neck of the nurse that told me that…poor DH thought he’d be witnessing a murder - cause he knows how I am about my food! Also a nurse was going through questions with us, and out of nowhere she asked was I getting any other procedure done…I was like ‘eh - no…’ so she clairfys and asks ‘like getting your tubes tied or anything…’ I’m like ‘Oh my dear god - NO…’ then DH pipes up - ‘ah go on sure…’ we had a giggle at that and the nurse finishes up…and when she’s gone then I’m like ‘oh my god…she knew that was a joke didn’t she…’ I still wonder did she know it was a joke and did I get tubes tied… By 9.15pm I was brought in so they could give me the epi, the midwife spoke to the anesthetise about my fears and he sat with me and explained everything and really was great…I had BP monitor and heart monitor thing on and when they started to administer epi my heart rate dropped and my body began shaking violently, in the back of my head I thought they’d start getting p!ssed off at me for being like this, but they didn’t they really did their best to calm me, a midwife had to force my legs down to stop them shaking and they kept offering me a general anaesthetic if I wanted it, but I really wanted to see my baby…once it was in, it was great tho, but they took extra care to assure me I could feel nothing…seriously there was no pressure with them, they were there for me and that was it, I couldn’t have felt safer…DH was brought in just after they started to cut, and he was sitting behind my head for a few mins, next thing we hear our little man screaming crying, midwife runs to the side of my head holding our little man up and says ‘look, look isn’t he lovely…’ I started bawling when I saw him, I felt totally calm from then on…they weighed him then and shouted to us he was 8lb 5.5oz….myself and DH just looked at each other and said…’what’s the .5oz about?’… They cleaned DS up and brought him over, midwife put our cheeks together then and I kissed him and she held him there for a minute or two (when he touched me this was the first time he stopped crying), and I was just bawling, she gave him to DH then to hold we didn’t hear him cry again until sometime the next day!! DH was brought out then while they stitched me back up and we met again in the recovery room after that and I held DS for ages…it was so surreal, just staring at him, thinking ‘this is it now, this is what we were waiting for, and isn’t he just worth the lot of it…’ it was so great, I was crying and laughing constantly, I think I cried mainly cause I realised what I missed out on after DS1 delivery, I wasn’t allowed touch him or see him for a few days, and no one explained why to us, so I was just so sad for missing that with him, I think the drugs had a lot to do with those feelings tho, but it was fantastic just looking at our new little man and examining every part of him and seeing how perfect he was…he didn’t cry or anything when he was with us, he was very alert and just stared at us as much as we were staring at him… After about an hour in recovery they brought me back to my room, and DH left then to go home, midwife took DS so I could sleep…I made an attempt to sleep but kept waking thinking…’oh I’ve another lovely little boy…’ it was funny cause half of it was real emotion and the rest was drugs…I remember waking up at one stage when midwife came in to check BP etc and I was just smiling at her, she asked was I ok, I said ‘yea I just had a little boy…’ she was like ‘…ok….’ I think she thought I was a freak DS was brought into me again at about 6am Friday morning…and he was wide awake….and we just stared at each other….it was great… I rang DS1 at 8am that morning to tell him the news, and my mam was telling me after he was going around the house shooting his hand in the air saying ‘yes I’ve a new baby brother…’ he arrived at the hosptial that morning and he was absolutely totally mad about him from the second he saw him, even now a couple of wks on, I often catch him just staring at him, smiling and I’ve heard him say a few times ‘your just so cute I love you…’ The day after the section, from 6am that morning I was asking to get out of bed, the midwives thought I was mad - but I could feel my hips in bed and everything felt normal…I was anxious to get out of bed and see if I could walk unaided…so by 2pm a midwife was doing her rounds and I beg her to take catherer out, she tells me it has to stay in until 6pm, but with a bit of presuasion she says she’ll do it…she takes it out, and leaves the room with the bag thingy…she comes back and freaks when I’m gone, she asks DH where in gods name has she gone…DH said he was nearly scared to say I was in the shower…as soon as she walked out of the room I had gotten out of bed and honestly it was the first time in weeks I could walk without severe pain or without crutches…I nearly ran into shower…it was fantastic… It was immediate relief from the SPD, when DS was born, and I mean immediate, I didn’t realise how severe the pain had been all along until I started walking around and the section felt fine in comparison to what I’d been going through before that, it was such a relief to be able to walk… The physiotherapist came to see me the day I was leaving hospital and examined me and said it looked like my tummy muscles collapsed out with the weight of our little man…TMI alert now…but my tummy muscles are so weak right now that my bowel looks like its falling out…it looks terrible and I have to start physio again in 2 wks time to make an attempt to correct the tummy…. After all that tho, our little man was worth every second of everything, the whole TTC malarky was worth the sweat and tears, the pregnancy is such a distant memory right now… I find myself staring at him sometimes just realising how lucky I am, and I do realise how lucky I am, I’ve 2 handsome sons, and at the minute I’m just the luckiest woman alive! Anyone going to CUMH - I can not fault anything about the hospital - midwives and after care etc in the hospital are all fantastic! Anyone TTC’ing its worth it all in the end! I'm really really enjoying it this time around, I've developed a 'fu*k it' attitude, I seem to have no problem telling people don't call and the housework can wait til DS is 18 for all I care...I'm just enjoying the peace I have with him...DS1 is just fantastic with the new arrival and I couldn't ask for a better husband...I'm just on top of the world right now...I've my 2 sons, my husband and the use of my legs back...could things be any better??? 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