30th March 2011 10:05Lately DS1 has being saying he misses me and he is sad. This usually coincides with bed-time so I think he is sometimes trying to delay going to bed! I work full time and have started going to the gym on a regular basis. I go on Monday eve at 7.45 so DS2 is in bed and Dh reads DS1 his stories. I also go on Wednesday after work so I am home by 7.30 and get to put both boys to bed. At the weekends, I either go to the Gym on Saturday when the boys are napping or Sunday morning from 10am-11am. I am home every other evening after work and spend all weekends with them. My mum is of the opinion that this gym business is nonsense and I should be focusing on the boys which of course makes me feel guilty. I was pregnant/breastfeeding for 3 years without a break so am enjoying being active again and feel better for it however I feel sick with guilt a lot of time whilst I am at the gym. The funny thing is I used to work late a lot in my previous job and never felt guilty about that ( just pissed off) although it impacted a lot more on my time with DS1 however he was younger I suppose. DS1 is fine going to crèche in the mornings so I know he is happy there. I guess he’s just getting older and realises that we are apart a lot. He loves the weekends and being home together which is natural. We were at home with my parents for a few days and he had a fab time and since then he has been saying he misses his nanny and grandad and my sister. He is very close to them all but have never said he misses them before. This weekend I have a hair appointment on Saturday morning to get my highlights done which will take a couple of hours and then I have my gym class on Sunday morning and am worried that DS1 will be upset that I am not at home with him. A good friend of mine is having her hen this weekend but I declined to go as I didn’t want to be away from the boys all week and then all weekend. I feel guilty about that too and she wanted me to be there Dh has had to work a few weekends lately however that does not seem to bother him at all. I guess he got used to me being around more during my last maternity leave. I really look forward to going to the gym but the guillt is gnawing away at me. I’ve never really felt guilty about anything to do with the kids before and it’s not a nice feeling.