Sex after giving birth

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Loola Posts: 121
I was hoping for some advice. We have not been able to have sex since I gave birth, 10 weeks ago. I did get quite a few stitches and I was told that they were healing well. Fore play seems to be all we can do as it is really sore for me when it comes to penetration. Do any of you know is this normal? do I need to wait/am I not healed yet? If any of you have any advice I would really appreciate it. I am enjoying the foreplay but it would be nice.....well you know. Thank you
silíní Posts: 4219
Thanks for posting this, i was going to ask myself. My baby is six weeks and we dtd for first time lastnight. We were both really nervous. I have to say it did sting a bit but it was OK, also stung afterwards when i went to the loo. I had 2nd degree tears but they are healed. I imagine though that the trauma to your flesh itself takes time to heal even if stitches are healed. I would be interested in what others reply to this. I feel for you, its very scary . Could you mention it to your GP? Are you breastfeeding? I think this can also cause some pain during sex.
Loola Posts: 121
Thanks Silíní, Yes I am breastfeeding, I didn't realise that could contribute to the pain. I do intend to ask my GP but I will not see her for another month or so. I will see how we go anyway. If anyone else has any words of wisdom for me that would be great. Cheers
theoracle Posts: 7664
I had stiches on my first and we did the deed after the compulsory 6 weeks. My word of advice is use LOTS of lube (such as durex play), makes a world of difference. It took a long time not to feel any odd pulling and stuff, months in fact, but that is normal, think what you have been through!
silíní Posts: 4219
Hi loola, yes there was a thread about this on rollercoaster, apparently breastfeeding can thin the vaginal wall which can make it a bitmore painful. Have a look on there as some girls had good advice re lubricants etc. AARRGg it never ends does it??
Loola Posts: 121
Okay went to the doc to ask about it. unfortunately I got a Male doc with a Male medical student. anyway Doc said that he could arrange an internal examination, swabs and cervical exam if I wanted. I told him I would try the Lube and if the pain persisted that I would get back to him on the exams. Embarrassing and funny. All the while the med student had my baby in his arms, trying to avoid eye contact with me. Anyway i will let you know if this continues Thanks
Christmas B Posts: 6191
[color=indigo:reqvm2uo]I had A LOT of stitches and was advised by doc to wait 3 months before any jiggy jiggy took place!! Even after 3 months it was still very tender and even now some positions are a no no, 8 months later!! Take your time and try different positions that are easier on your jing a ling pressure wise!![/color:reqvm2uo]
Loola Posts: 121
thanks Christmas B I Really don't want to push it. No one seems to talk about this part of the whole adventure. It is nice to know I am not alone and this is normal. I will take your advice and take my time. Any thoughts on the tests suggested by the doc?
silíní Posts: 4219
I dont know about the tests, but i am surprised that more replies haven't been made to your question! Afterall, it must be an issue for all mums who have had vaginal deliveries!!! Maybe people are just shy,,.
oirish Posts: 1541
Hey there. Well we dtd for the first time last week and it did hurt a little - but mostly becuase I was 1) so nervous I was tense and 2) breastfeeding makes you "drier" down below I found I was ok and getting there with lots of foreplay (yay for me) and didn't need lube (urgh urgh hate that word) until dh put on a condom and then I dried up. this always happens me with condoms dunno why- think it's the interruption :o0 Don't forget hun that whenever you are nervous or tense during "the deed" then you WILL be tense and sore with penetration. My advice is a large glass of wine or two (pump and dump) and just have fun. And get the durex play - it's great (not the tingly one though - jaysis very bad idea and that was before I had my bits re-arranged through childbirth) good luck and have fun :)