Shoe drama - over-reacting??

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emlo Posts: 1506
Hi all, am I overreacting here? Sorry it's a bit long: I'm a tall girl and my BM dress was ordered in extra long. When it arrived I tried it on and it was nice and long for me. My sister was saying I could go no higher than a 2" heel as the shoes would be showing. I said I don't want to be trippng over the dress either as I'm not used to long dresses and she was insisting it would be fine. I even got my BF to watch me walk in different size heels at home and he said he could barely see the shoe even in the higher heel. So I set about looking for sliver shoes thinking it wouldn't be a problem. I found it very hard to find a pair. In the end I found a pair that are high enough - not hugely high like a lot of the heels on the shops now but not exactly a low heel either. When I rang to tell her this, the first thing she asked was "what height are they?". When I explained the height of them she said she didn't want me being taller than everyone else. I just said "well, I am tall. I can't help that". Now, she's just a bit smaller than me and the other bridesmaid is also quite tall so I don't see what the problem is. She said I'd look ridiculous next to the best man. He's not exactly the tallest but he's no wee man either. She said she saw a nice pair of low heels she could get me and I could bring the other shoes back but they only offer credit notes and I don't want another pair of shoes. I'm just a bit annoyed that she seems to be obsessed with this one little thing as she's completley laid back about everything else. She doesn't even care that the BM shoes match as the other BM has a completely differnt pair of shoes, just the same colour. I am tall and there's nothing I can do about it. Why shouldn't I wear a nice pair of heels and feel dressed up? Maybe they should've picked a different Best Man or not picked me as a bridesmaid if it's going to be such a problem. A bit of me thinks she just wants to be the tall one to stand out more. I mean, if I was fat would she tell me to lose weight as I'd look to fat compared to everyone else. Or if I was the only blonde one. Everyone comes in all shapes and sizes for God's sake! Now, I feel like bringing the shoes back just to please her, if she does think I'll look ridiculous next to the best man. Am I over-reacting or do you think I have a right to be annoyed?? Thanks for reading!
blissful2b Posts: 1555
she obviously has a thing about your height and seems to want everyone to be of similar height. i fail to see how an inch or two could make a difference to her.(but it obviously does) I guess all you can do is say that you'd much rather the shoes you bought as you really like them but that if she has a serious problem then fair enough [b:41w2euyt]she[/b:41w2euyt] can buy you another pair :hic
bangel Posts: 2285
How about you ask her to look at the you in the whole outfit with the shoes? Maybe she thinks they are higher than they are.
cremebrulee Posts: 8546
She's over-reacting.... it's very bridezilla. I agree with the other poster... tell her to buy you a pair of shoes if she has such a problem with them.
08Aug09 Posts: 405
I can see where she is coming from - she could just be totally paranoid about the way it is going to look in the photos - I know I am .. and I have said I will buy all the shoes just to try control this.. feel like a control freak admitting this but I have visions of all the lads looking like they are making their confirmation next to my bridesmaids .... I am hoping that by the time the wedding comes I am over this paranoia but I fear that I wont!!! :eek :eek I think your sister picked you cos she wants you - and her H2B picked the best man cos he wants him - and the height thing is all your sister can think about - dont be too hard on her... if she is willing to buy the 2 " heels then I would go with them...
May09Bride Posts: 1050
Dont kill me for this, but dont you think it would be nice if you met her half way, maybe suggest she come and view them on you with your BM dress on, explain why you picked them instead of just seeing her as a bridezilla. She probably just had a picture of you all standing in a photo and you came across as the tallest one and she wants to make it look a bit more even if you know what I mean, like any other bride she is just trying to make her day perfect, give her a chance, and if in the end you really dont like the shoes she picked out then at least you can say you tried.
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
I am tall too and if you are anything like me you have big feet ( :o0 sorry!) and find it very difficult to get shoes full stop. I would ring and ask to meet her at the weekend, to try everything on together and just explain that you are afraid the shoes she will buy won't do either, you will bring yours back and then you will have no pair of shoes. Hopefully she will see it all and it will be okay. I do think she is stressing over something that isn't important as I would think the difference in both shoes will be an inch and that is hardly going to break the bank in the photos and for all the time you spend standing next to the best man on the day, it's hardly noticed. Obviously it's something that she is worried about though, so you will have to humour her and hope for the best. I am assuming because the shop only offers credit notes that you don't want the cost of buying another pair? If you have paid for them, then I think you should be allowed wear what you want. It's a bit mean to give the trust out and let BM's pick shoes and then complain afterwards. If she wanted a certain shoe, whether heel height or whatever, then she should have taken both of you on a shopping trip together, get matching shoes she wanted you to wear and pay for them.
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Has she actually seen the shoes on with the dress? What you say is high and what she thinks are high could be 2 very different things! As long as the shoes were stylish, which I'm sure they are, I wouldnt give a monkeys!
ScarlettoHara Posts: 8442
Ok this is just my total honest opinion, if I was bridesmaid and I was asked to wear a 2 inch heel I would. No question about that. In my mind the bride has the final say on what you wear and if she wants you to wear a 2 inch heel because she thinks you will be too tall then I think she should. Just my honest opinion :wv
blissful2b Posts: 1555
i was just thinking, if she expected you to buy the first set of shoes out of your own money then you should have a say in what they are as well. i mean what if you hate the sight of the ones she picks out for ya and will never waer them again, thats just wasting your own money. different if she is paying for them though, then as long as they were comfy i'd go with what she picked.... but ask her to take a look with them on...seriously who gives a flying banana whether your taller than the best man. not your fault he's short!