Should i go?

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bridalnowmam Posts: 2202
Have a bit of a dilemma, its my bro's birthday (a big one) coming up and we are all due to go away for it, out of the country However i am pg and very broke. Its only immediate family going, so no partners husbands etc, but heres the thing, i really dont want to go. Firstly i dont like the location, it will involve tours etc that he is into but nothing i would be interested in. Also i am totally broke and they are doing it 5 star all the way so staying in a diff hotel is not an option. I am very tired on this pregnancy , aready overweight so more being added to that, dreading the flight as its a long one and i know i will swell to within an inch of my life when i get ont the plane I know i will feel so bad if i dont go as he is sick and we are all supposed to be making the effort for him but i know if i do go i wont enjoy it and i cant really afford it. also the pg thing will prevent me doing much over there would u go anyway, i hate the thoughts of telling him i wont be going, i would be the only one of the family missing :o(
hadtoleave Posts: 2522
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happieout Posts: 3111
It seems you've lots of reasons not to go and they're very valid. It's lovely to arrange family occasions but when it's adults on different budgets and with different commitments, then it becomes very difficult. Maybe if you say it now, they might arrange something else? who organised it? If you are pg, then obviously your priority is looking after yourself and trying to save a bit for the baby, not trekking around another country. I know your brother might be disappointed if you can't make it but he'll still enjoy himself and your reasons are understandable.
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
Oh god that's a tough. I can understand you not wanting to disappoint your brother and also you might feel a little left out if you are the only one not going however I was so sick when I was pg that there is no way I good have gone on a flight like that etc. I think this one of the few times you can be a little selfish and think of yourself and not go. I'm sure he will understand :xox
Bonnie Parker Posts: 2670
This is really something that you can only decide for yourself. The outing seems a bit far fetched for a birthday, especially the stipulation of family members only. Therefore I am presuming that this is because your brother is ill - otherwise it would be perfectly acceptable not to go, based on the circumstances you have outlined. So I don't know, maybe you shouldn't have agreed to go? Maybe you will regret not going? Seems to be another issue at play here - hence the big effort your family have decided to go to. It must be sometime in the near future seeing as you will still be able to fly? Have you not booked the flights yet?
Roxanne Posts: 3201
If you don't want to go, don't go. It's a fairly big ask in these times, even if you weren't pregnant. I'd tell him you're really sorry to miss it but your doctor has forbidden you to fly due to high blood pressure. Then do something nice for your brother at home - cook him a lovely dinner and make a bit of a fuss. But no-one could possibly blame you for not going.
bridalnowmam Posts: 2202
thanks everyone yes in answer to OP question it really is because he is ill that we are making this big effort, which i totally agree with. Its just financially for me it means money that i will have to pull out of savings, more pressure etc. I have nt booked anything yet because of my pregnancy , i want to see how well i will be nearer the time Guess i just have more thinking to do, thanks everyone for your replies, appreciate it :thnk
elpi Posts: 748
I suppose for me it would depend on how sick he was. Sorry I don't know any way to put this delicately but if he's terminally ill and this could possibly be a last trip with him I wouldn't miss it for anything but if it's a case that he's been sick and this is to cheer him up a little then I'd bow out and blame the pregnancy rather than money.
RainbowNinja Posts: 4437
[quote="elpi":1o0q395j]I suppose for me it would depend on how sick he was. Sorry I don't know any way to put this delicately but if he's terminally ill and this could possibly be a last trip with him I wouldn't miss it for anything but if it's a case that he's been sick and this is to cheer him up a little then I'd bow out and blame the pregnancy rather than money.[/quote:1o0q395j] thinking along the same lines as this.. if it could be his last trip, i'd go.. but mayb not do all the tours to save money
bridalnowmam Posts: 2202
sorry girls, its more like a degenerative disease, you know one that gets worse with time I guess every year we have that he is well is important , so hard!