So Called Friend

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Capetown Posts: 976
Hi Girls it's not really a rant but I'm so pissed off at the moment. I got a call from a good friend yesterday to say she can't come to the wedding. She has an interview for permancy the same day. Now I know that she already is permenant so that's a lie. She rang me 2 weeks ago when the invitations went out to say that her husband had greyhounds racing that night so he couldn't come to the wedding and could she bring a friend. I told her that it was no problem to bring a friend and I wa delighted that she'd be coming. I also told her that she'd know others there also and couln't wait etc. Now role back 3 years ago. I was after moving home from abroad, I had no job and was skint. I still went to her wedding the far side of the country. I went on my own and gave her a little present. ( had no boyfriend at the time) I had a great day on very little drink as I couldn't afford to drink. I RSVP'd and told her I'd be on my own fair enough. She left me out of the table plan, along with a few more singles. (Didn't mind this at all as mistakes can happen) I texted her this morning and asked her if she could make it after her interview that I'd love to see her. She responded and said she didn't think she'd make it that interview wasn't till 2 and she'd come and visit some weekend aafter the wedding and enjoy the build up.I just feel that I'm always the one making the effort and am taken for granted by some of my friends. I suppose I should have known 2 weeks ago when she said that her Hubbie wasn't coming but I just thought that she could have made more of an effort. Sorry this is so long
Mrs Snove Posts: 1611
I know it's totally annoying but you really just have to move on and try not to let it affect you so close to the wedding. For some reason or another she obviously doesn't want to come to the wedding - maybe her husband wouldn't go with her and she felt uncomfortable bringing a friend instead - who knows what her reasons are but if she's not going to tell you the truth you just have to move on and accept that she isn't the friend you thought she was. Concentrate on those who will be there to share your day with you not those who can't make it.
contented Posts: 2625
hi strawberry, i'd a similar thing happen the other day, a good friend sent me a refusal saying she couldnt go cos theres a surprise 60th birthday for her husbands sister the same night she also said she found out two wks ago i was upset about it but tbh i just text back saying I understand and not to worry and i'd see her soon etc. I could get very peeved cos she didnt bother to phone to say it or even text me but the one thing (cos everything else is) i'm not going to get upset about is people not being able to attend the wedding. its up to them and for whatever reason if they cant go fine once i know beforehand and it doesnt cost me the price of their meal. i'd let it go and dont worry about it.
sue27 Posts: 604
I still think it's mad the way when weddings come round we find out who our real friends are. how long have you been friends with her, how long have you known her? It is very disappointing to be let down by someone who you considered a good friend, someone you thought would love to be there with you and your H2B to celebrate your wedding day, but you know what? - at the end of the day you probably won't miss her. You will be so wrapped up in enjoying your day and being happy that you will only notice who IS there, not who ISN'T. She obviously means a lot to you, cause you made a massive effort when she got married, despite your circumstances at the time. It hurts being let down like that. Chin up, cheer up, you are getting married soon!!!! :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll
Capetown Posts: 976
Thanks Girls, I know her 9 years and when we were living abroad we were very close. I know that her H2B isn't the kind of fella that likes getting dressed up etc and I'd say he just told her that he wouldn't be going and that was it. I've a good mind to tell her put €10 down on the dog for me and I might get lucky as it's my wedding night. Somehow I don't think their dogs are running at all. I don't think I will though cos it will just confirm to me that they can't be arsed. I don't think I'll ever see her in the same light again. Weddings really do show you who your true friends are.
sue27 Posts: 604
:action32 Ah strawberry, chin up, forget about her. It's so not worth it (although I can totally understand how tempting it is to try and trip her up with regards to her excuse).
happy angel Posts: 928
awe that is awful but if that is d way she is ur better off without her all u can do is try and meet up and say it has upset u u will feel alot better u have enough stress at this special time dont let them ruin ur run up to ur big day is she going to make it day before or after............ im sure you have plenty more true friends please enjoy ur day best of luck
gerbil Posts: 3528
try not to let it annoy you; it's sad but then again, anyone who[b:27o47pho] is[/b:27o47pho] at your wedding made the effort to be there and wants to celebrate the day so concentrate on the people who care! O-O O-O
scotswedding Posts: 2829
Some people just don't realise how people might take them not going as a bad thing. I know cos she's married you might assume that she's been through it and should know but maybe everyone who mattered turned up for her so she doesn't realise how you feel... Anyway the thing is there's no point giving out about it and not letting her know or letting her know after the wedding. Give her a call or text her and let her know that you're a bit upset by her not going. Don't be melodramatic about it- just say it simple as. Maybe mention that you already thought she was permanent too (though that's outright calling her a liar and could cause a row..??). Hmmmm...maybe check that one out first if you can. Anyway if she knows you're upset and she still says there's no way she can go then you've more of a right to be upset (imo). Also probably best not to make a thing of you having gone to hers and all that (again-just imo).
playabella Posts: 543
Hiya, If i was you i'd just forget about her and get on with enjoying the build up to the wedding. If she was a true friend she would be there. I think her excuse is a flimsy one and she obviously can't be bothered to make the effort. Look at it this way, you put yourself to alot of bother to go her wedding so you are obviously a much better person!! Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful day!!