so confused..what did I say????

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miabella Posts: 212
Girls,I am so upset,Getting married in June & having 3 bridesmaids,my 2 sisters & my bestfriend.My sister told me she was pregnant the other day which is great news!! Her dress should still fit her but just incase we said we could add some elastic at the sides to fit her baby boobs in :o0 There is absolutley no problems that she is pregnant but last night I txt her & said "if u want to not do bridesmaid thats really ok incase u want to just relax for the day & run arnd after her other daughter who is 18 months" Thought I was being thoughtful!!!! Well then got a txt back to say " thats fine." :eek :eek :eek Rang her & asked was everything ok....she freaked out saying that there was obviously a problem with her being pregnant & she wasnt getting into it Again(was the first i spoke to her about it) and she didnt need this crap . I tried to explain that i was thinking of her & off course i wanted her to be bridesmaid...I have everything,dress,shoes, dressing gowns ,flowers ordered! I cant understand it.... did I say the wrong thing????? She doesnt give up aurguments very easily...this will go on I know it will. Sorry for such a long winded post...but im freaking out now...dont know what to do! I txt her again this morning to say sorry if she thought that but thats not what i meant.....she hasnt replied. this is her 3rd child BTW.She is married nearly 3 years,I was her bridesmaid.
GreenerPastures Posts: 7284
Maybe she's such sensitive at the moment. I'd just leave ti for awhile and let her cool down. I would maybe mention it to your mother or other siblings (if you have any). Not trying to drag them into it but maybe they could play devils advocate and if she brought it up with them they could calm her down and give an unbiased opinion. I know if it were me I would be similar to your sister. I'm practical and I would probably have the usual worries, will I be too tired, have enough time for dress fittings and other BM duties but also torn between actually wanting to do all that stuff. It's something she needs to figure out herself. She did overreact and I'm sorry you upset but you both just need to let the issue sit for awhile... :action32
Delphinium Posts: 3027
I have to say I cringed when you said you text her. And now you are trying to undo the damage by text! Something like this is always going to be sensitive and should really be handled face to face or at the very least by phone. Texts are very easily misinterpreted as in this case. Especially when it was your first time even bringing up the subject. You are going to need to talk to her properly face to face and you'll have a better chance of sorting this out.
BusyDee Posts: 8527
[quote="mrsjd2b":25l6ez8s]I have to say I cringed when you said you text her. And now you are trying to undo the damage by text! Something like this is always going to be sensitive and should really be handled face to face or at the very least by phone. Texts are very easily misinterpreted as in this case. Especially when it was your first time even bringing up the subject. You are going to need to talk to her properly face to face and you'll have a better chance of sorting this out.[/quote:25l6ez8s] +1 - Im always picking up my FSIL texts wrong! She has such a weird way or wording her texts but then when I talk to her she's like "Oh no of course thats not what i meant"!! Did you not say that to her when she told you she was pregnant? That it was ok if she wanted to step down?
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
Hormones Hormones Hormones! She's quite senstive at the mo and took you up wrong. Talk to her face to face :heartbeat:
miabella Posts: 212
thanks girls.Never thought of saying it to her at the time only afterwards when i was thinking about it at home.She lives over an hour away from me so only usually see her once twice a month...anyway she doesnt want to talk to me now. Wish I never opened my mouth.....really should have thought about it before i sent it but I have 2 children & didnt see a problem saying it.Oh well......the wedding was all going a little too smoothly.
olivia123 Posts: 824
my sister will have a two month old baby when i get married. she is cheif bridesmaid. she brought it up about maby not being up for it as she might be too tired. told here it's up to her, that she can decide on the day if she wants. would love if she will stand up with me on the day but will toatly understand if she doesn't feel up to it. maby you could suggest something like this to your sister since everything is already ordered. good luck. O:o)
miabella Posts: 212
dont think I'll be doing that.......still no answer from the txt I sent!!! Cant believe it. :weep
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
sounds like hormones to be so it does! she prob just thought that you didnt want a pregnant bridesmaid god lover her. give it a while and RING her and tell her you wouldnt have it any other way then to have her, my sis is TTC and she was freakin out that she would have to stop TTC sisters freak out over things and usually take things wrong when a friend wouldnt. she will be fine
wedded bliss Posts: 303
I'm sure she's extra seneitive @ the mo. If your not getting anywhere maybe your sis or Mum could speak to her & explain what you meant?? Good luck sorting it out