So mad at H2B- (warning self pitying rant)

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Liela Posts: 181
Im so bloody sick of this. H2B has been working in an another country for the last 3 months. Im all alone here as we are living abroad and the first 2 months were awful. Coming home to an empty cold house with no one to talk to. My friend came and stayed with me a few times which was brilliant but the majority of the time I was all alone. My jaw is killing me because Im chewing in my sleep because Im anxious. The pain is so bad. I went over to see him for 3 weeks which was brilliant but he was working 12 hour days while I was there which was fine I understand he is under huge pressure. Got a bit teary a few times when he was late back- especially on our anniversary. So now I am back home and the end is in sight. He is coming home Sunday. For the last week he has been snapping at me on the phone because he is so stressed trying to finish up his work. He really upset me Monday so I said 'Im not putting up with this crap, goodbye' and hung up. He called later that night to discuss something and I was so short. "yes, no, talk later bye". I emailed him a few times Tuesday asking him to do something. And it was one liners back and forth for a while. Since then nothing. Nada. I know he is up to his eyes but Im here all alone, trying to pack up the house and get everything sorted as we are moving home and worried about everything. I was up until 4am last night tossing and turning as Im angry and upset and I kept heard something in the bedroom like a scurrying noise. Ended up sleeping on the couch. Is a "Im sorry I snapped at you, Im really under it at the moment. This will all be over soon' text too much to ask. The fact that Im stubborn as a mule isn't helping matters but scr ew it I have had enough of being the supportive, reasonable one . O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| O:| Sorry girls I know peole have way worse problems and issues than mine. I just needed to get it out of my system. :o(
*bubblez* Posts: 1599
hey hon, sounds like you're both under a lot of pressure and both feeling s h i t about it and feeling guilty too... I'm stubborn as a mule too but at the end of the day he'll be back with you soon and everything will be ok. A text isn't too much to ask for but then men don't think like us and he probably feels like he's doing the right thing by leaving you alone. Text him when you know he'll be awake, tell him you love him and can't wait until the stress is off you both and you're back together. It might seem like giving in but really its not and you'll both feel better for it. hope you're ok :lvs
Liela Posts: 181
Thanks Bubblez, you are totally right. I just feel so upset right now. Im here breaking my bones sorting the house out all alone and he can't even text. He is usually so sensitive and understanding. But nothing for 2 days. I wish I could text him what you said to but I just don't have it in me right now. Going to go for a nap and maybe things will seem more manageble when I get up. Probably wrecked after a sleepless night. Thanks again Bubblez :thnk
bonita Posts: 1678
Hey Leila, dont feel bad about posting, sounds like your in a difficult situation alright, I rekon you will both be ok when things get back on track and you are together again. You are both under serious pressure and with not sleeping well you must be exhausted. I think Bubblez makes a good point about sending him a text - It wouldnt be giving in. Take Care :wv
gerbil Posts: 3528
hiya, haven't much to add in the way of advice, I agree with the other Wollies but just wanted to say I hope it all works out, you sound as if both of ye are under pressure - he probably misses you like mead as well :) :thnk
Mrs Electric Posts: 1939
you poor thing! i think you are both under pressure at the moment! dont worry as you say its coming to an end now and you will be together prob again. All them restless nights dont help either so try to relax a bit more and invite friends over again, i know i would be the same hate been on my own! hope it works out for you. :thnk
MammyC Posts: 3621
HI! I think that you should just text him, lifes too short for stress!
Liela Posts: 181
Thanks everyone for all the good advice. Going to meet some of my old work friends for lunch tomorrow so that will keep me busy. My sister told me to have a good cry and get it out of my system. Its seems to be working. Also getting stuck back into the packing and cleaning now. Its ironing time! Then have to clean the bathrooms from top to bottom. People coming to look at the house Friday. Whats that saying about the devil makes work for idle minds? Also, must not open bottle of wine. Anger + booze= phones + fights Cheers ladies. Its nice to know there is support out there if you really need it. :thnk i just remembered we are getting married a year from today. Great time to be fighting.....
*bubblez* Posts: 1599
ah we fought every day up until day before wedding hon t doesn't mean anything if you know you love him at the end of it. Glad you're feeling a bit better but try to remember how much pressure you're both under at the moment and don't let stressful lives get in the way of your relationship. You love him he loves you but you're both missing each other like crazy and for some bizare reason this manifests itself in sniping and being short with each other. Happens to me and hub all the time when we haven't connected in so long.
Liela Posts: 181
Hi Girlies thought i would give ye an update since ye were so nice and helpful. Couldn't say what bubblez said so kept it simple and said I was upset that we hadn't spoken in two days. I said that I know how busy he is right now but I thought that he would have at least checked to see how I am. I said I was quiteupset and overwhelmed by all I have to do here and on top of that now Im worrying about what its going to belike when we go back. No reply after an hour and a half but his email at work has a stupid slow firewall. I texted him to see if he got it and he called me back. He hadn't got it so basically said what I said in the email. We argued back and forth for about an hour with me in tears the whole time but we talked everything through. Weren't really getting anywhere and were arguing around in circles. Eventually he understood why it was that I was upset (after bloody having to tell him 3 times) and he said sorry. But he does the thing where he admits he was wrong but is still not culpable at the same time and I hate that. How hard is it to say 'look I f***d up Im sorry'? I do it when Im wrong. Bleedin men! Anyway at the end we just changed the subject and started talking about what we were going to do Sunday when he gets back. That worked really well and now its all okay. Im still stressed out but now that I have support again I can keep going and Im sure it makes it easier for him to cope with his work over there too. Its not over yet but I feel so much better now. Thanks so much for the great advice Wollies. I was ready to tear into him and that really would have made things so worse. :thnk :thnk :thnk :thnk :thnk :thnk :thnk :thnk