so sad

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sally Posts: 1140
Im sorry to be moaning.... AGAIN... but im just so sad today, logging on here and there are so many new BFP and im so happy for them but just cant bring myself to say congrats. Had a lousy weekend. I wrote a week back about a friend of mine who I was BM for in august and waited to start TTC till after her wedding.... I had a hunch she was pregnant and was going to see her this weekend. Well I was right and im really happy for her but its hard because she concieved first try with her hubby and here I am six months down the line and nothing to show for all my charts and supplements and acupuncture. Its just so hard..... I am due AF tuesday and to be honest I really think its on its way have cramps today and sore boobs (got them last month and thought it was a good sign but AF turned up) otherwise I feel no different at all so dont think im pregnant even though we timed everything really well. I know ill be devestated when AF comes... im just dreading it. I wish I didnt feel so down and depressed.... its really hard to keep going month after month and doing everything right and nothing happening. Do you think I could go to my doc just for a chat about this or will she not take me seriously till we are trying 12 months? I just wish I could get pregnant.....
Ducky Posts: 2506
Hey sally, I am probably the last person you want to read right now but I couldn't not reply, you sound so sad. It is perfectly OK to feel pissed off and mad in your circumstances, you are allowed! This baby-making lark is incredibly upsetting, joyous, emotional, difficult and messed up - all at the same time. For those having a tougher time of it, like yourself, it must be maddening. I do think you should chat to your Gp because, if nothing else, this stress and worry can't be doing you any good at all. A friendly chat might make you feel more positive and they might decide to do some tests just to put your mind at rest. I know everyone has said that the more relaxed and laid back you are, the more likely it is to happen and that probably drives you mad, but it really is true. Perhaps a month without the charts etc might help? Maybe a weekend away with hubbie? It always seems to happen when we least expect it and am busy doing other stuff. So be delighted for your friend, confide in those close to you when it's hard, stay busy, try to relax, see your doc and mind yourself. We are all here for you on the tough days, just as we will be when you get your BFP and we'll be jumping about the place. :xxx
noddy Posts: 666
ah dont worry sally it will happen when its the right time, my brother and his wife were trying for 4 years she done everything your doing now, she worried so much about getting pregnant and was so stressed. Anyways they stopped worrying for a few weeks and she relaxed. They looked into IVF privately and were going for it when she ended up getting pregnant. They couldnt believe it they reckon they were so caught up in trying all the time that it was never going to happen and when they took a break it all worked out.Now they have 3 beautiful children 6,4, and 3.I hope this helps and dont dwell on our friend being pregnant your time will come maybe when you least expect it!! :action32 :o)ll
sally Posts: 1140
thanks girls.... my hubby just came back there and he was with friends of ours last night who were three years trying and she said the month she got pregnant her hubby was away for 20 days out of the month and the time she got pregnant was just before her AF was due.... which makes no sense at all. She said to throw away all the OPKs and charts and just relax. Thing is I dont know of I can do that. I really have nothing else to focus on, my job is boring and I dont want to start up a course or anything because im pretty busy with work and just living. I do go out a lot and meet friends and go for weekends away with my girlfriends so try to keep busy and enjoy life but TTC is always at the back of my mind. I think i will go to the doc just for her opinion... she will prob just say relax as well.... maybe she will have some vallium going. The acupuncture helps me relax a bit as well so ill keep that up.
Sphynx Posts: 6795
Sally I'm sorry you're feeling so low and there's nothing really any of us can say that will make you feel better. You just have to believe that your BFP is on its way and accept that you can't know when it will arrive. Charting, OPKs etc help us feel like we are in control of our bodies but in fact we never have total control over them - it's all down to Mother Nature really, who is a bit of an unpredictable b*tch sometimes! Don't give up the accupuncture if you find it helps you relax - and maybe do some other holistic treatments also? If you can't bring yourself to ditch all of your TTC tools, could you maybe just use the OPKs and forget about temps and CM etc for a while? I found the OPKs very stress-free to use. I think if you try to do too many things at once you can get a bit obsessed (and stressed). Try to stay calm and don't lose hope. Your BFP will come. It's great about your friend but the fact that she got pregnant first try is no guarantee that she is going to have a hassle-free pregnancy so try not to be too jealous. Don't know what to say otherwise other than I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of positive thoughts. And maybe the year of the Golden Pig will work its magic for you! :xxx :xxx :xxx
Mrs Neadi* Posts: 1128
Hi Sally, so sorry you are feeling so down. I'm feeling pretty much the same today. Did a test this morning BFN again, promised myself I wouldn't and was just gutted to see that horrible "not pregnant" and then I log in here and see another BFP. It's very, very hard to post the congratulations, now, don't get me wrong, I really mean it, i'm delighted for each and every girl who has gotten their bfp as I know they will be when I eventually get mine. you say you can't focus on anything else.....well i've taken teh plunge and signed up for a course for the next 6 weeks and then after who knows...going away at the weekend and maybe plan another weekend away soon. Would you try, just try without the charts for a month. I threw all mine out - and it' nearly impossible to do but i've accepted it will happen when it's meant to. sorry, i'm not very articulate and find it hard to get across what I mean but basically I just want to say you are not alone. x
sally Posts: 1140
Thanks Mrs*..... how long are you trying for? Are you working without the charts for long? I think ill stop everything except the acupuncture for this month and maybe just have a chat with the doc to see what she thinks. Im a bit worried as had an ovarian cyst removed couple years ago and have always had pain there since which Ive been told could be due to scar tissue but they wouldnt know that unless they had a look inside which I dont really want as it was very painful last time. This may be affecting my chances of getting pregnant. Its hard not to get down sometimes, I am happy for all the BFP as everyone goes through their own tough times and deserve happiness and ill prob be able to send my congrats in a couple of days. I also like a fool tested today and yet another neg, thought karma would work its magic and give me my BFP today when I was so down about my friends news as I put off TTC for her wedding but I suppose this isnt an episode of "My name is Earl". In my more positive moments I am thankful for all the good things in my life and know that a year or two to wait for a baby isnt that long when you compare it to the time that baby will be in your life...... hope ill be looking back on all this someday and laughing but at times like these I think ill be writing a sequel to Martina Devlins book in a couple of years.
Mrs Neadi* Posts: 1128
sally i'm only trying about 8 months now and had 2 very early misses in meantime. I charted for the first 6 months and in December when my sister got sick I just decided to focus on her and my family instead of ttc and charting and temping and all the rest. Don't be alone and don't bottle up your feelings - but maybe go and get that looked at - ok, maybe it will be painful - but what's some pain when it could be something that could be fixed eh? rather some physical pain than months more emotional pain...
lenadmp Posts: 139
Dear Sally- when people told me yeah just relax it will happen. I was like yeah right how can I. People were telling me I got pregnant on the first try. I thought something was wrong when I had been trying for 8 months and nada. I had given up went to my doctor and she referred me to see if I had endometriosis as my afs were complete agony. In the meantime i got my bfp. My best friend who is a gynae says 18months is the average length to get pregnant so please dont give up. Lots of fingers and toes crossed Lena dmp xx
mummy bear Posts: 3824
Sally what all the girls have said is so true sending you lots of hugs anf thinking about you :xox :xox :xox :xox :xox cheer up :lvs