some advice.....???

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clairebear76 Posts: 568
where do i start> i got married last aug i am an english girl who got married in ireland i arranged the whole wedding through this website which was so hard but i think i pulled it off even to my cost i totally had a breakdown on the honeymoon knowning i had a train wreck awaitnig me...my new mother -in-law was dying she was.nt expecting to make the wedding but she did... 8 weeks later on our daughters christing she passed, she was amazing, not just saying it but you no when you meet someone a they look right into your soul? she knows all of you and love you for it she did that i loved her so much, but can't say anything to my husband her son, because it's killing him and i no how that feels as a saw my mum die in front of me and couldn't speak about it for years .. he's hurting so much and i can't help him it harder knowing the pain but i feel i'm losing him and i don't know how to help him ??
july2009bride Posts: 532
I'm so sorry, it's a hard time for everyone. All you can do is continue being there for your hubby and slowly encourage him to talk about it. If he won't and guys arn't often very good at opening up don't try to force the issue but keep letting him know you are there for him. As you know time does help. Good luck, thinking of you both. :o(
mad woman Posts: 22106
hey chick, I was wondering where you were gone. just be there for him.[/u]
Hepburn Posts: 4081
I am so sorry you are going through so much pain in what should be a happy first year of marriage and parenthood. Don't worry, you are not losing him. You will have to be a little manipulative in bringing him around to talk. From my own experience of loss men don't open up very easily and he may be trying to be strong for yourself and your daughter thinking that is the right thing to do. I have always found that photos are a wonderful way to get everyone talking about the missing loved one. There will be some laughter and talking and the tears will come too. Don't be afraid to say how much you miss her....he will love that. He really will. Above all, remind him that your daughter is a little piece of his mother carrying on.... I hope things get easier for you both very soon...... :thnk
shoegals Posts: 1640
I don't think you are losing him I think he just needs time to get his head around things. The only thing I would say is times a great healer and in time he will talk about her openly to you but he just needs a bit of reflective time about him and his mum at the moment. Maybe you could do something nice for him like make up a collage of photos in a frame of him and her, might get him talking. Hugs to you :action32
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