There are times when kids draw something and you just have to say...
'Wow, tell me about your picture,' because you have no clue what it is...
This one you'll know right away....Enjoy!
OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS
QUOTE FROM THE MOM:
THIS IS MY KINDERGARTNER'S ARTISTIC RENDERING OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS.
I WONDER WHAT HIS TEACHER THOUGHT.
I ALLOWED MYSELF JUST A SMALL SMIRK WHEN I SAW IT.
I WAITED UNTIL HE WAS OUT OF THE ROOM UNTIL I
STARTED CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD.
WELL, OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS.
IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH A SMALL CHILD OR
IF YOU ARE A TEACHER YOU WILL LOVE THIS!
AS YOU ALL KNOW I WILL BE REQUIRED
TO PROUDLY DISPLAY THIS ON MY
REFRIGERATOR FOR A LENGTH OF TIME .
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immedediatley ushered in to see the Pope
Grumpy Leads the pack
'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'
Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
nuns in Rome ?'
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment
and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all
of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .
'This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry
Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
anywhere in the world?'
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my
son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
'Grumpy shagged a penguin!'
I'm on a roll todaY!!
A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After
several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,
and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what
this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet
how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that
they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in
grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought.
He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means
he has to impregnate the sheep himself. So, he loads the sheep into his
Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has s_x with them all,
brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep.
Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces
that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them
back, and goes to bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
'Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods.
He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls knackered into
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out of the window.
He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
'No,' she says, 'They're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.'
Ah MrsWhippy09 i just coped your Avatar
[quote="Twinkelle":f0rmjt8e]Ah MrsWhippy09 i just coped your Avatar