Some opinions please

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anon55 Posts: 64
Hi Girls, I know I am posting in the wrong forum but the relationship forum has very little traffic lately and I would like to hear yer thoughts. I broke up with my finance few months ago (read relationship forum for all the info)Was on facebook earlier and saw pictures of him on somebody elses page where he attended a wedding. He seemed to be the life and soul of the party-dancing, laughing and smiling-things that I have found difficult to do since we broke up. Apparently since our breakup, he has become this social butterfly!!!I My question is how can lads move on so quickly?Can they just forget that we ever existed?Are they heartless?or is it all bravado-are they trying to show the world that they are doing ok. He had said ealier in the year before we broke up that we wud give the wedding a miss cos the guy was an old college friend from years ago and we wud hardly know anyone there!!! I am hurt. He simply doesn't seem to care at all. How can he move on so quick. I just wanted him to miss me a bit like I miss him. :o(
maltabride2011 Posts: 987
Hi anon55, so sorry to hear about your break up :action32 My thinking is that guys are much better than us girlies at hiding their emotions, we tend to wear our heart on our sleeves. Maybe it looked like he was the life and soul of the party, but he could just been putting on a show for his guy friends by being all happy and cool about it all. In my experience very few guys like to show their vulnerable side, but of course I don't know what your ex is like. So sorry for you, it's always the worst time after a break up where you feel like they're moving on and you're getting left behind, but try not to let those FB photos get to you too much and keep your chin up. :action32 :thnk
trance Posts: 3129
A lot of it's probably bravado hun, he's hardly going to be pictured sat in the corner weeping, if you were out and knew you were being photographed you would be smiling and laughing and dancing with not a care in the world, it's what we'd all do. A friend of mine said something many years ago which still holds true i think - [b:255scurm]'women grieve, men replace'[/b:255scurm]
Sodapop Posts: 3220
Like Maltabride said if you knew a camera was on you you'll act up for the camera - he could very well be hurting inside. He probably just went to the wedding to occupy his mind with something else. Guys dont show their emotions to friends or tell them how they are really feeling! I wouldn't take it to heart hun - chin up! :action32
anon55 Posts: 64
Thanx girls, I'm feeling better today about it. I just feel so hard done by-I am grieving and have absolutely no desire to go out and yet he can the life and soul of the party, They are such a a funny breed..................
maltabride2011 Posts: 987
Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today hun :action31 Men are so complicated I don't think we'll ever fully understand them! Just keep that chin up and try not to let it get to you. x
Kittyboo Posts: 1591
[quote="maltabride2011":151bxxgv]Hi anon55, so sorry to hear about your break up :action32 My thinking is that guys are much better than us girlies at hiding their emotions, we tend to wear our heart on our sleeves. Maybe it looked like he was the life and soul of the party, but he could just been putting on a show for his guy friends by being all happy and cool about it all. In my experience very few guys like to show their vulnerable side, but of course I don't know what your ex is like. So sorry for you, it's always the worst time after a break up where you feel like they're moving on and you're getting left behind, but try not to let those FB photos get to you too much and keep your chin up. :action32 :thnk[/quote:151bxxgv] +1 Men never show there true emotions. You never know what goes on in their heads (and sometimes its probably best not knowing) Chin up pet....start enjoying life and go out with your friends/family......I know its hard....but you only live once :action32
MrsPatience Posts: 1147
HI Anon55 sorry to hear about your break up :action32 but have to agree is all an act, guys wouldnt or dont get any sympathy from other fellas when they break up or go through anything emotional at all, they think a pint and night out should sort you....i am sure deep down he is going through what you are and you just caught a glimpse of his life partying....but you dont see him the rest of the time do you? I broke up with an guy years back, just was unhealthy relationship, but he was still in a circle of friends and i seen me being replaced in no time and then each girl after that....im now married and very happy....and as i said i saw all these gf's come in and out of his life, he too was life and soul of every party...i always thought well i was another string of his gf's but about yr ago i met him at a party and he was drunk and proceeded to tell me i was the love of his life and my dh was a very lucky lucky man and he shouldnt of let me go....i was :ooh to say the least....but i said thank you :innocent: and then said wished him best of luck turned on my heel and walk away with my dh :lvs so anon55 this is a hard time for you and you may always "think" it was easy for him but you just never know, in the future i gaurantee you will thank god that things didnt work out for you too...as then you would never meet ther person you are meant to be with....hope that makes sense :-8 best of luck :wv
anon55 Posts: 64
Thanx Mrs Patience, It is v.hard. It's so crushing to see him enjoying himself while I still feel sad and could not look at a man!Like your relationship, our relationship was v.unhealthy too so I know now that If we had got married, I would have had a crap life controlled by him. Thanx girls for all your commets, xx
MrsBig10 Posts: 2074
[quote="fairy21":2mwl59j5]Like Maltabride said if you knew a camera was on you you'll act up for the camera - he could very well be hurting inside. He probably just went to the wedding to occupy his mind with something else. Guys dont show their emotions to friends or tell them how they are really feeling! I wouldn't take it to heart hun - chin up! :action32[/quote:2mwl59j5] + 1 This is so true!!! I know its difficult for you to believe it, but things will get better for you. YOu need to make a fresh start for you & ignore those FB photos :action32