Something different for second wedding

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Bellacay Posts: 10
Hi all, I'm new to the forum. I recently got engaged for the second time. Ten years ago I married my teenage sweetheart (we were together since we were 15) but he sadly passed away after four years of marriage. I honestly didn't think I'd ever meet anyone else and I didn't set out to, but about 18months ago at a work function I met a man and we hit it off immediately. We took things slow at first, but 4 weeks ago he asked me to marry him. I'm so happy that I am getting another chance at marriage but the thing is I am really worrying about the wedding. You see I had the works in my last wedding,the church, the big white dress, the flowers, hotel, the car, the cake etc. I'm afraid that it will all remind me of my late husband and take away from my fiance. I also don't think I will feel comfortable wearing white again. My fiance has been talking about the wedding alot and I know he's really excited about it. We are both in our mid 30's but this will be his first wedding and I know he would like the big white wedding, but I would just as happily go down to the registry office and go for a meal. I am just wondering does anyone have any ideas for something that would be very special that isn't a big hotel wedding. Something that is still traditional and will be memorable for us both.
NittyGritty Posts: 1605
Hi! Firstly welcome and secondly congratulations! The first thing I thought of was on a beach or outdoors wedding, still in white, but a less formal dress IYKWIM. Would you consider going abroad? I guess you have to sit down with your OH and discuss what he really wants from your day. Then make the decision together. I understand your reasons for not going down the same route as first time, so I'm sure he will too. You can have an amazing day that will suit you both and will be memorable but different than the first bells and whistles day you had with your late hubby. There are loads of ideas and tips here as it seems every type of wedding has been tried and tested by the wollies! Best of luck with your planning and let us know what you decide.
galwaygirl2010 Posts: 2447
Congrats on your engagement! Like nitty gritty - my first thought was a wedding abroad or somewhere like a country house in Ireland instead of a hotel? See the following link for some ideas - Or maybe something like a castle where you can get married on the ground (would be a problem if you wanted a full catholic wedding) As for the dress - its doent need to be white if you would prefer something different. My cousin got married in a pale green dress (her first marriage but didnt want a white dress) and she looked stunning. Im sure the thought of the wedding is bringing up remiders of who / what you have lost, but Im sure if your late hubby was here he would want you to be happy and to find someone to go through life with and not be alone - so this should be a celebration so dont be afraid to celebrate it. Definetly make sure to talk to your OH so he knows how you are feeling and together you can plan the wedding with both your feelings / ideas taken into account. Best of luck with the planning :wv
Rogue User Posts: 6101
There is an ex-priest called pat buckley who marries couples who have divorced. He can marry you anywhere that is open to the public too - he's marrying us at Malahide Rugby Club! And then we're having a BBQ and party afterwards - maybe something like this would suit?
daisy2012 Posts: 619
I'm delighted for you bellacay! Maybe you could look at restaurants or private venues - you can book a whole restaurant who are well experienced at doing weddings and some places are so beautiful and fab! I've been a a wedding in a restaurant before and it has a totally different atmosphere. Here's a couple of suggestions Fallons in Kilcullen - beautiful restuarant really romantic Fallon & Byrne in Dublin - has a fucntion room, food is to die for Aqua in Howth - fab views, beautiful Cruzzos in Malahide All can cater for 100ish Can you tell I'm a Dublin girl?!!!! :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll
Baby Bud Posts: 14
Hi Bellacay, congrats on ur engagement :) I agree with the pp who suggested maybe getting married abroad? We were in the same situation as u & this was something we thought about. Also we looked into having receiption in a restaurant as opposed to a hotel but in the end though we just had a lovely small wedding at home. Can I just give one word of advice please... my husband was a widower so it was obviously his second wedding. But like ur fiance I wanted a traditional wedding. If my husband had not agreed I wud have found it difficult to take & wud have felt peed off that he had the whole works before but wudn't be happy for me to have the same. So I guess what I'm saying is just mind his feelings so he doesn't feel se3cond best behind ur first husband... Again I hope u don't mind me adding my tuppance worth.
PussyGalore Posts: 3388
Congratulations Bellacay. I agree with everything said already about wearing a coloured dress or a shorter length white one even. As for venues, we're having a non-traditional wedding in a big old stately pile, this gives us more freedom in creating the day we want, so we're having our civil ceremony there followed by a cocktail reception (with cocktails made by a friend who's a barman) and buffet dinner and dancing. We have the whole House booked out for the day so that our guests can have a ramble in the gardens or down to the lake (weather permitting). Obviously you could go abroad as has been suggested as well but there's no reason why you can't have a great, fun, meaningful day without the big splash in the white guna.
Rachel Fox Photography Posts: 343
Congratulations. That is really touching, I'm delighted you are getting a second chance and also sorry for your previous loss. Why not consider a civil ceremony. There are loads of places doing these, you could have a smaller intimate wedding, completely different to your first. I doubt the thoughts of your late husband will not enter your mind on they day, and sure why would you not want to think of your last wedding but it does not have to mean that this one should be any less special. Best of luck with it, I wish you all the happiness in the world, its lovely to hear stories like yours every once in a while.
strawberries1 Posts: 1245
They are loads of good tips here from the Wollies. I have heard of No 6 Kildare Street which is your own venue and you could have a civil cermonny here and the wedding meal after. Don't know what the prices are like. I also know that wedding receptions can be held in the Guinness Storehouse but don't know if that would be your cup of tea. Best of luck with it. Glad you found happiness again after your sad loss
Rachel Fox Photography Posts: 343
I have heard good reports of the Guiness Storehouse. I just went on the show us your dress thread and on page 3 of the thread there is a dress not unlike the November Rain dress, thought of this thread straight away. Also, Leixlip Manor do civils and I did notice in a brochure they had images of an outdoor civil ceremony which would be amazing if you had the weather!