Speeches Dilemma

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Jawl Posts: 8881
Best man is just turned 19. He's Mr. Jawl's nephew. I won't say he regrets asking him to be Best Man, but he's now seen that his best friend who is Groomsman would have been a better choice. He's helping arrange the stag, and has been there consistently since primary school for Mr. Jawl, they have been through a lot together. When it comes to the speeches, is there any way I can get Best Man to do the welcome to the family, thanks everybody for coming, the BM's look gorgeous type speech, and ask the Groomsman to do the bit where he just speaks about the groom?? To be honest, the best man wouldn't know anything about mine and Mr. Jawl's relationship, or anything about Mr. Jawl apart from the fact he's his uncle who he sees once or twice a year. Is this rude, or insulting to the best man? Or do you think we should just suck it up as we made the wrong choice and live with it? Or is it a case of we can have what ever speech format we desire? I often shed a tear when I see a life time friend/brother paying tribute to the groom, and I think Mr. Jawl really deserves that.
Mari yay Posts: 4045
I would think you can do what you like!! I'm sure a 19 yr old might be relieved to be let off the hook like that, just ask him to thank the usual people and let the GM take over for the more personal part of the speech. Will this risk the wrath of the IL's?? They will prob be outraged at the cheek of ya!! OH's brother is GM, but he was only asked after being pressured but the family, I think he regrets it now, only for I put my foot down and said no WAY would he be BM, he's a little weasel, he can read some cards and thats his lot, not having him do anymore as he will be well on it at this stage anyway if his performance at his sister's wedding is anything to go by. But, I digress, do what you like Jawl, its your day!
JustBecause Posts: 3242
You can do what ever you want! We had 2 best men. When it came to speeches 1 acted as MC and introduced each speech & did the cards and the other made the bestman speech. It worked well for us. My step-dad kept talking about making a speech but I told him that it would mean a lot to me if my mum did the speech and suggested that he do a toast instead. In the end he did a short speech about how excited they were about our marriage and my mum did a long speech about me!
lux Posts: 6270
Jawl, as with so many things about weddings, do what suits you. I was going to give a speech but decided not too at the last minute. My aunt died very suddenly in January and it was just too much for me to speak about her so OH did the honours and did a great job. One thing which worked well for us was having the speeches at the drinks reception. It made them more informal and might work for you. I don't know if you're having a top table and speeches then but a drinks reception with people around means that its not immediately obvious that this is the best man, etc, etc speaking, its more people saying a few words in a convivial setting. Only thing which might happen is that the speeches drag on a bit if there are several speakers. I've attended weddings where just when you think they are done groomesman number five gets up to say his piece and TBH unless you are very close to the couple a lot of the words while nice are not very interesting. My FIL dragged on a bit with stories about my OH and you could nearly feel the boredom in the room.
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="lux":239vrg8l]Jawl, as with so many things about weddings, do what suits you. I was going to give a speech but decided not too at the last minute. My aunt died very suddenly in January and it was just too much for me to speak about her so OH did the honours and did a great job. One thing which worked well for us was having the speeches at the drinks reception. It made them more informal and might work for you. I don't know if you're having a top table and speeches then but a drinks reception with people around means that its not immediately obvious that this is the best man, etc, etc speaking, its more people saying a few words in a convivial setting. Only thing which might happen is that the speeches drag on a bit if there are several speakers. I've attended weddings where just when you think they are done groomesman number five gets up to say his piece and TBH unless you are very close to the couple a lot of the words while nice are not very interesting. My FIL dragged on a bit with stories about my OH and you could nearly feel the boredom in the room.[/quote:239vrg8l] That's what I'm afraid of Lux! There will only be my dad, Mr. Jawl, BM and one of the Fockers wants to make a speech on behalf of the family as their father is dead. And I know for a fact this is the speech that is going to take 20 minutes as she'll pay tribute to each and every Focker and tell them all what a fantastic family they are! :o0 I kid yee not!
Mari yay Posts: 4045
[quote="Jawl":d1az4agh] That's what I'm afraid of Lux! There will only be my dad, Mr. Jawl, BM and one of the Fockers wants to make a speech on behalf of the family as their father is dead. And I know for a fact this is the speech that is going to take 20 minutes as she'll pay tribute to each and every Focker and tell them all what a fantastic family they are! :o0 I kid yee not![/quote:d1az4agh] Might not work, but how about you give the Fockers a time limit? Tell them everyone has a time limit as you don't want the speeches to take over and be too long?
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="MrsSG":31gphb3e][quote="Jawl":31gphb3e] That's what I'm afraid of Lux! There will only be my dad, Mr. Jawl, BM and one of the Fockers wants to make a speech on behalf of the family as their father is dead. And I know for a fact this is the speech that is going to take 20 minutes as she'll pay tribute to each and every Focker and tell them all what a fantastic family they are! :o0 I kid yee not![/quote:31gphb3e] Might not work, but how about you give the Fockers a time limit? Tell them everyone has a time limit as you don't want the speeches to take over and be too long?[/quote:31gphb3e] Darling, are you mad? :o0 They are the Fockers, they don't adhere to anything I say because they are so perfectly superior, they don't need to :o0
Mari yay Posts: 4045
[quote="Jawl":3j7awwc3][quote="MrsSG":3j7awwc3][quote="Jawl":3j7awwc3] That's what I'm afraid of Lux! There will only be my dad, Mr. Jawl, BM and one of the Fockers wants to make a speech on behalf of the family as their father is dead. And I know for a fact this is the speech that is going to take 20 minutes as she'll pay tribute to each and every Focker and tell them all what a fantastic family they are! :o0 I kid yee not![/quote:3j7awwc3] Might not work, but how about you give the Fockers a time limit? Tell them everyone has a time limit as you don't want the speeches to take over and be too long?[/quote:3j7awwc3] Darling, are you mad? :o0 They are the Fockers, they don't adhere to anything I say because they are so perfectly superior, they don't need to :o0[/quote:3j7awwc3] Oooops sorry my mistake :-8 don't tell them I suggested that!!!
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote:1fv78qiu]Oooops sorry my mistake don't tell them I suggested that!!! [/quote:1fv78qiu] I will mention it though! :)
CarolinaMoon Posts: 2431
Jawl, I have read so much about the fockers that I can only say do what suits you both. Lets face it, a 19 year old is probabl going to be grateful that he doesn't have to make a big long speech and the GM will do a much better job as he KNOWS your OH. The Fockers will see it as an insult but fock them :yelrotflmaosmilie: And a time limit is a great idea - 10 minutes per speech at the very most. I went to the afters of a wedding 2 years ago in London. It was an Italian wedding and everything had to be said in english and italian. The speeches went on for 3 hours and this was on top of the delays at the church due to all the translations etc. They finally finished at 11pm and there we were sitting in a side bar like a bunch of fools as everyone inside was still at their table and the venue closed at 12pm >:o(