Spilling the beans...

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popcornlover Posts: 169
Girls, Not sure what to do about telling family and friends about our pregnancy (2nd pregnancy) Its really not important in the grand scheme of things but bugging me al the same. I told my parents at the 12 week mark. We told my in laws at the 14 week mark so its my siblings and their partners who dont know yet and then all of our friends. I wanted to tell my siblings this week but then was talkin to my mam who told me that my SIL was also expecting but not at 12 weeks yet. She has had 2 MC in the last few months but i'm not supposed to know anything about that. So my mam was all like 'you better not say anything (about my pregnancy) just yet until they have their scan and all is ok. I hope to god everything works out for them, would be just fantastic. I feel under pressure now, as my DH's full family know but my family dont and am worried that they will find out secondhand somehow. This happened to another member of the family a few years ago and the bad feeling is still there. And I'm bursting to tell some close friends but dont feel its right to do that before family. I wish i had just told them all at the same bloody time now and I'd have none of ths to worry about!! Any advice?
Babylou Posts: 724
What is everything is not ok for your SIL and you have to tell her after? Tell them now, It'll be worse for her to hear your news afterwards, if she does lose this baby. Anyway this is a special time for you aswell and you should be able to tell people when you want.
Positiveya Posts: 398
I agree with BabyLou, I would tell them all. How far away is your SIL's scan?
Donnachain Posts: 202
I agree it would be so much harder to tell them if they have a mc again or something is wrong. plus this is your time too and you should be happy not anxious about telling them. They will all only be delighted for you. :o)ll Best of luck
CherylC Posts: 1071
I would tell them now - I'm sure they will be delighted for you. And will hopefully be excited to tell you their news in a few weeks time. If you only tell them in a few weeks, they will surely know that you knew about them early - otherwise why wouldn't you have told them? And agree - much easier to say it now while all is going well for them.
Anne Cordelia Shirley Posts: 4731
I would also tell, if you didn't know about your SIL you'd have told everyone. You have a right to share your good news. You don't know who might feel down after you tell either, but you can't walk on eggshells all the time. I would also be annoyed if others told family before I got a chance to.
Number2in2012 Posts: 172
Congrats on your pregnancy! I agree with the other posters, tell them now. If you wanted, maybe make a point of telling you SIL first and not in a group of people. Hopefully everything will go well for her and she will just be delighted for you but just in case she is sensitive about it maybe tell her in private. But, do tell because while you are very good to be worried about her, you are still entitled to be happy & excited about your pregnancy, so go ahead, tell everyone!!
Sassy1 Posts: 446
By the sounds of if there is never going to be a good time to tell so I would say it now so at least then its out and god forbid something happens to your SIL you won't be walking on eggshells or afraid in case you let something slip. We told my mam when I was 7 weeks and the rest of my family Christmas Day when I was nearly 11 weeks - all our friends know but we still haven't told any of OH family and I am into my 18 week now :) - not in a rush to tell them to be honest we have very little to do with them so its not like it will have an impact on our life if they dont' talk to us and its not like his mother or father will have anything to do with the baby
lollisue Posts: 507
Speaking as someone who has had two mc's, tell them now. I'd hate to think people were avoiding telling me their news for fear of my reaction. Also, it's going to be difficult for her at any time but it would be much much worse if her pregnancy ended badly and you had to tell her then.
under construction Posts: 3458
I agree with the rest of the posters tell now. Oh and big congrats to you :o)ll