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Sure won't it do!!

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Maggy Posts: 261
I swear if i hear these words coming out of my mothers mouth again i'll lose it!! Not entirly sure how to phrase this properly - my mother doesn't see the point in having nice things comes close but isn't quite right either cause she's just bought a stove and was very choosy picking out one. But when it comes to me she seems to think i should just "make do" On Saturday me and H2B were home and we were painting the kitchen for her. She told me she had bed covers and stuff i could have when we moved out (that had been in the press for about 20 years - no exageration). I said no thanks we'll be getting a king size bed. So then it started about "sure won't a double bed do, what do you need a king size for". My answers of "because we want a king size one" were doing nothing until H2B stepped in and said "because we want a king size one" - she'll listen to him but not me!! Last night I got told she's going to buy herself a 2 seater couch and I could have the 10 year old one with the sagging seats!! When I again politely declined the offer I got told "sure won't it do" Also been offered threadbare towels and cracked plates! O:| She also doesn't understand why i want matching stuff - i was looking through the argos catalogue and was showing her the kettle and toaster I want (which are a bit expensive but H2Bs mother is buying them for us) and she was almost giving out to me cause they matched. "sure what do you want matching ones for" and laughing at me cause i said i wanted them to match!!! I don't want to make it sound like she's mean cause she's also offered to buy us a stove if we want one but seriously the words "sure won't it do!" Having nightmares about them! We know we'll be a bit tight for money when we move in together first but we've budgeted and we'll be fine - and it honesly ISN'T her thinking about the money. - she just thinks "sure it might be 10/15/20 years old but it's fine!
Twirl Posts: 5598
AH you poor thing, im sure thats very frustrating. Maybe she is just trying to help if she thinks your under financial pressure??? I know my mam will not throw a thing out she does ask if parents in law to be want them, now this goes down to radiators, which they have taken. Shes given them tellys too. The other day she asked if they would like a duvet cover with matching pillowcases only used once. Now i have to say she means very well but its funny. We bought them a nice microwave the year we moved into our house, cause their's was as old as the hills and the noise out of it would deafen you, not to mention it was probably harmful to even turn it on. That nice new microwave sat in the attic for about 4 years until she finally admitted they should be using the new one the old one couldnt be the best. Here it comes............ instead of bringing the old one to the recycling centre she brought it to work, sure its grand!
Sheesh Posts: 1129
My mother can be like that sometimes,she laughs when I get picky and makes me feel like a child!! How about the next time your mother says ''sure won't it do'' when giving you something, how about you say to her plainly something like ''If you think it'll do why are you getting rid of it/them''. I know she's only trying to be good to ye but mothers can forget sometimes that we want to do our own thing and buy our own things, like my mother was giving out to me before cos I bought a lovely towel set,which was expensive, but I WANTED it for our house!
Maggy Posts: 261
Thanks so much for "getting it". Sometimes in my head i feel like a spoiled brat turning everything down but I really amn't!! O:| [quote="What a Wonderful World":1ftlk6u0]My mother can be like that sometimes,she laughs when I get picky and makes me feel like a child!! but mothers can forget sometimes that we want to do our own thing and buy our own things, like my mother was giving out to me before cos I bought a lovely towel set,which was expensive, but I WANTED it for our house![/quote:1ftlk6u0] What a Wonderful world - this is it EXACTLY. Like she thinks i'm stupid cause i want stuff to match or WANT to spend money on some things. Me and H2B agreeded we'd spend a bit on the couch and the bed cause we'll spend a lot of time on/in them but when i was saying that when i turned down her couch she thought i was mad and again made me feel like a child for wanting nice things!
Rocksie80 Posts: 4045
My mam is the same. Especially now OH has been let go from work. When it comes to the wedding, I've budgetted and bargained for a lot of things [b:30eqtrmi]we want[/b:30eqtrmi] to include. But each thing is knocked back as "why would you want to do that?". Now, I know she is just concerned that we feel we [i:30eqtrmi]have[/i:30eqtrmi] to spend a fortune, and that in her own way she's trying to reassure us that a simpler day will be fine. But she has a way with words... :) She'd also be the first to offer her older furniture/bedding/curtains/cushions etc. Most of which are perfectly fine, but none of which match my house!
Jawl Posts: 8881
I think it's a generational thing. People don't struggle now like they used to in our parents days when they were setting up home. So that's probably why she keeps offering.
Inline - Algarve WP
MizMelanie Posts: 1443
It's definitely a generational thing. My mam is always giving out to me for having too many clothes yet EVERY time i pack up a bag to bring to the clothes bank she sifts through it and pulls out stuff and says "sure this is perfect, why are you giving it away" - eh... because i don't wear it (ever!)!!!!! They don't like what they perceive as waste I think so even though she wants a new sofa she doesn't like to think of her current one just being thrown out so she feels less guilty at buying a new one too!
Tess72 Posts: 1173
God your post is so funny. I don't mean that in a bad way but I think your description of your mum rings true for a lot of us. Mine would be the same. She hates me going on holiday and sure wouldn't I be just as well off being in bloody Ireland. Everytime I tell her I'm going abroad she tries to think of some bombing or violence or that place is full of XXX to put me off. She gets really nervous at the thoughts of me being abroad somewhere strange where anything could happen to me! She also hates me spending or "wasting" my money and would happily live in a cave herself. I wouldn't dream of telling her how much I pay for half my clothes, furniture or even food, she'd have a heart attack. As the others said it's definitely a generational thing. They had so little in comparison to us, even though we're in a recession we have it a lot better than they did in fairness. They just can't understand our outlook but we grew up in different times and we have been very lucky. Anyway my mum drives me nuts too although I do get on quite well with her and I get the impression you do too. She totally winds me up but I just guess that's our dynamic and there's no point falling out with them over it cos that would serve nothing either and I've just given up on trying to change her at this stage, it's just not going to happen, too fixed in her ways.
PinkRibbons Posts: 1446
sorry, I actually read this post title as "Sure won't do it!" and I was getting confused with all the recent threads on Alexandra Burke and the Sure deoderants adverts, so I was getting all meithered looking for the deoderant reference in your post, didn't have a clue what you were on about when your mother kept saying "Sure won't do it" !!! :o0 NOOOOooooowww I get it!! :o0
Maggy Posts: 261
It's great to know i'm not the only one! :o)ll [quote="MizMelanie":14f25zqy]EVERY time i pack up a bag to bring to the clothes bank she sifts through it and pulls out stuff and says "sure this is perfect, why are you giving it away" - eh... because i don't wear it (ever!)!!!!! [/quote:14f25zqy] My mother does this and it drives me nuts! (Despite what it sounds like on this thread I'm not generally easy to annoy!! :-8 ). I'm currently in the middle of a clean out and have a few bin bags waiting to go to the clothes bank but after learning over the years what i generally do is lock the bags in the boot of my car so she can't get at them! It sounds petty but she has a habit of taking the clothes out of the bags and putting them back in my wardrobe! O:| Or taking them for herself - which would be fine except she's a size 8/10 and i'm a 14/16! [quote="Tess72":14f25zqy] I wouldn't dream of telling her how much I pay for half my clothes, furniture or even food, she'd have a heart attack. Anyway my mum drives me nuts too although I do get on quite well with her and I get the impression you do too. She totally winds me up but I just guess that's our dynamic and there's no point falling out with them over it cos that would serve nothing either and I've just given up on trying to change her at this stage, it's just not going to happen, too fixed in her ways.[/quote:14f25zqy] I have no idea what i'm going to do about the wedding/honeymoon (we're getting married in NY just the two of us). I know she's going to ask how much everything is and she'll freak at the cost of the hotel (It's $3,500 for 10 nights - which i know is expensive but it's our honeymoon and it's the No. 1 rated hotel in NY on trip advisor and i really want to stay there and we have the money without getting loans or anything) We do get on but as i was living away from home for a few years and moved back in so i could save there's some "readjusting" to be done! [quote="PinkRibbons":14f25zqy]sorry, I actually read this post title as "Sure won't do it!" and I was getting confused with all the recent threads on Alexandra Burke and the Sure deoderants adverts, so I was getting all meithered looking for the deoderant reference in your post, didn't have a clue what you were on about when your mother kept saying "Sure won't do it" !!! :o0 NOOOOooooowww I get it!! :o0[/quote:14f25zqy] Laughing my head off in the office and getting some funny looks! :yelrotflmaosmilie: