Terrified!!

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

bubblybaby Posts: 98
Hi all, I don't know why i am writing this - i suppose that i am just looking for some re-assurance :wv Basically, i am just terrified at the prospect of giving birth! Up until now i have been dying to go early and really looking forward to it but as the time gets closer i just want to keep it in there! I am attending the MLU in Drogheda. I never really intended to go there as i was always considering having an epi but my doc convinced me to accept a place if i got offered one and told me that they would move me to the labor ward no problem if i needed the epi. I accepted the place offered to me but now i am hearing a lot that they will do anything they can to persuade you not to get the epi, they dont like letting people out of there! Had an appointment last Friday and was told that my baby is in the OP position (its back at my back) which can make labor longer and more painful and the baby may need forceps / vacuum. This is my first child and now i am totally freaking out about it! Trying everything to make it turn around. Head is engaged, does anyone know if the baby can definitely still turn around to the correct position? Has anyone delivered (natural birth) a baby in OP position? Also, apart from the labor, i'm terrified that there might be something wrong with the baby :weep even tho i am so close and i know my little babs is in there going wild i still cant imagine that its going to be a reall baby. I know that sounds so stupid but i really need to see it to believe it! Does every mother worry like this? I worry that i might not be good enough in labor and deprive it of oxygen or that if i am trying to get it to move to a better position that i will cause it to get tangled in the cord or something!!!!!! I will be just sooooo relieved to have it over and hopefully to be told that babs is perfect :lvs xxx
eviebelle Posts: 66
Please try to relax!!! you will be in the hands of experts and they will guide you through it - every step of the way. It's only natural to feel apprehensive at this stage but trust me when you go into labour you are lost in it and all you focus on is getting babs out safe and sound. The MLU is supposed to be brilliant and if you feel you need an epi etc then its completely your decision. I am pregnant with baby no. 2 and with my 1st I had really bad back labour, baby was in wrong position and needed the vacum but the day she was born was the best day of my life and every second of labour was worth it for what I had in the end. wishing you the best of luck x :wv
Psycho Sue Posts: 1875
Hey bubblybaby, firstly hun, take a deep breath and relax. don't be getting worked up about the birth hun, its what your body was built to do!!! (((((hugs))))) I'm pregnant on my first, and I'm also going to got for the MLU in Drogheda(I was just like you) but to be completely honest, after speaking to lots and lots of mammies, they have all said that the mid-wives really do all the work when you are in labour. Now, I haven't gotten to the stage yet, where I started to panic (but I'm sure I'll be just like you in 10 weeks or so, and need your reassurance :action31 ) but the way you need to deal with the labour, is just to take it as it comes! My mam had 5 of us without any pain relief (obviously back when Ept's weren't the done thing) but she did it 5 bloody times..... wow. I think you need to stop worrying about what might happen, and I am absolutely sure, that if you need the Epi, they will let you go! you will be hormonal, Psycho, in Pain, and they won't want to mess with ya, if you are finding it too difficult, in case ya attack them! :ooh :o0 . On the other hand, its perfectly natural to feel the way you do, especially about the baby concerns, cause thats what mammies do! the fact that you are already worrying, means that you are ready for the baby, cause this will be the start of all the worrying. you have no reason to believe that anything is wrong with the baby, so think positive! you need to be as positive as possible now, so as to have as much energy when baby arrives....don't be wasting your energy being anxious. Think of the thousands of babies around the world being born perfectly fine, with mammies who don't have the option of pain relief!!! you will be absolutely fine, and if you need the epi, just scream. :hyper: I'm not making light of your feelings either hun, just in case you think I am, I just haven't got to your stage of the pregnancy yet, and I'm hoping someone will come on here and calm me down... Hope this helps. sue
Fifi Trixibelle Posts: 472
Hey bubblybaby I completely sympathise with you! My DD is 10 weeks old, and I can remember how scared I was beforehand. Ppl tell you dreadful horror stories, and no one ever tells you about the nice, normal births. I know in my case, I was so relived afterwards, and I said to DH "I wish I had known it wouldn't be as bad as I thought". I don't mean in relation to the pain (I did have an epidural) but I mean the whole process. All this "Leave your diginity at the door" talk frightened me - who wants to feel they are going to be humiliated while doing (probably) the hardest thing they have ever done? But it's not like that - the midwives are amazing, and once you do what they tell you, you will be fine. They treated me at all times with the utmost dignity, and made the whole experience very special. I can't offer advice about natural birth as I had the epidural, but if you want to go, make sure you make that clear. The important thing to them is a safe mother and a safe baby. It does sound like you never really intended the whole natural birth process, but got talked into it. If it's not what you want, maybe you could find out about going directly into the hospital instead of the MLU? The most important thing is that you feel comfortable. I hope you feel better soon :action32
Sleep Monster Posts: 2829
It's natural to be worried about the birth and baby. You are in good hands though. Talk to your doctor about your concerns and hopefully they can allay your fears. I have to say that myself and all the mommies close to me have found the whole birth experience incredibly positive, regardless of how long or tough it might have been at times. Check out some of the gentle birth stuff too. I'm not hugely into it myself, but it's good to read to get yourself into a more relaxed frame of mind. Best of luck, I hope everything goes smoothly for you.
happymammy09 Posts: 318
Hi Bubblybaby, I was told the exact same thing two weeks before I had my ds. I tried everything to turn him, nothing worked. I was so stressed out and worried about the labour. I was crying for about a week cause I didn't know how I would be able to do it. I told my doc and she reassured me. I was induced in the end cause he couldn't really start off cause he was high up due to the way he was turned. My cousin is a doc and advised me to ask for the epidural straight away, I did and the midwife put me on the drip in preparation for it. I had the vacuum also. Not bad when you have the epi, you dont even notice at that point. Genuinely I would have to say it was not half as bad as I thought it was going to be and I am not just saying that. HTH!
rosiemama Posts: 3363
Hi.. i was in your position 6 months ago, had my baby in MLU. baby was back to back at my last midwife appt before but turned sometime before or during early labour and i had a very positive natural birth so it can be done. the midwives are excellent and really know what they are doing. you will have plenty of options if the pain does get too much and they will move you if necessary so don't panic. you will also have lots of time and know what position baby is in and can make decision then. make sure your oh knows what your worries are and what you want from your labour so if you are in a lot of pain he will be able to tell the midwives what you want. once your contractions start if you feel like you can't cope, ask for an epi as soon as you get to the hospital. they won't mind. its natural to worry about the baby being ok. during my labour the midwives couldn't get the baby's heartbeat and my dh was terrified something was wrong but he was fine and it was just the position he was in. i found it good to concentrate on what the midwives were saying and to keep thinking about baby coming out safely. another wee tip is to get your oh to stay near your head and repeat what the midwife is saying as sometimes i couldn't hear her properly. good luck! its an amazing experience and you'll soon meet your lo :)
bubblybaby Posts: 98
Sorry...dunno what happened here...wrote a reply and its saved to drafts :duh: now i dunno where drafts are saved!!!!!!!!!!!!
bubblybaby Posts: 98
Found it! *) Thanks for all of your reply's :thnk I have been feeling lots and lots of BIG BIG movements for the past 2 days so hopefully when i see midwife on Friday the baby will have changed position and then i will be a lot happier! As far as the MLU are concerned, i have every faith in them i know i am in safe hands and they are wonderful at what they do...i have decided that if I am in too much pain or if labor is too long that I will be telling them to move me to the labor ward NOW for the epi! I am a bit of a soft touch really and i think that i just feel a bit guilty doing that to them after they have been so good to me so far throughout my pregnancy - but i realise that i have to be a bit tougher during the birth and really let them know i mean business if i mention the epi! I have been getting some period like pains today :eek i havent a clue whats going on as i have never done this before! I am presuming that its all normal and i'm not starting labor :eek :eek :eek my mind is in constant overdrive!!! Thanks again! xxxxx
1