First of all you've not bee long winded at all. Second of all my heart breaks for you, you poor poor thing.
Right where is this girl? Is she still in your house, Id give her her marching orders pronto.
Secondly I think its probably best to try to go off to work yourself and wait to discuss it with him this evening. I would just fear he's possibly still a bit drunk, you're in shock and its best to have clear heads when you talk about something like this.
Im not sure what could be a reasonable explanation for his behaviour but you need to hear him out.
Do you have any suspicion of anything like this having happened before?
I also think put yourself under no pressure to have Christmas as normal, you need to have time to think about the implications of all of this.
Best of luck xxxxx
Hi Paula, got my stomach feels sick for you! Get yourself off to work and maybe stay with a friend tonight for head space. Have you spoken to him? I do think a very drunken snog and not intentional as he would have brought her home?!? but still NOT an excuse,,, I would be gutted, Hope youre ok
Oh my God you poor poor thing.......how did you manage not to kick her out straight away. Your head must be completely wrecked, I would be fuming and so so so upset. why couldn't she just have gone home to her own house....not that that's the issue but still! I think you should go to work and try get your head together. Do stay with a friend tonight I think you need more than a few hours in work to sort your head out!
Personally if my fiance did this 3 months before our wedding I would have to seriously consider the whole thing. I would possibly look at postponing the wedding. Maybe this sounds a bit dramatic but I really do think I would do it, I could not get over something like this after 3 weeks. Like you don't know what led up to it....where they with each other at the party? Have they been with each other before? Could this be something he has done before? Even if it was a once off I don't think I could get over it in the space of 3 weeks!
I really do feel for you, can't imagine how hard it must be facing into this on Xmas week. Go to a friend tonight and talk it out with her.....that's what I'd do come back to him when you are more clear on where you want to go with this. A friend is what you need this evening not him.
Sorry if I'm coming across a bit dramatic it's just my opinion on what I'd be thinking/doing.
Good luck x
Right if your one is still in the house, get her out! I don't give a sh1t about making a scene, she's kissed your H2b, get rid. Pack a bag, go to work & go to stay with friend for night like someone else mentioned.
I'm sure that h2b & yourself has some talking to do, but I think you need to give yourself time to get your thoughts together.
Good luck hon - keep us posted
I am so sorry to hear about this, I have to be honest I would confront him and I would ask him upfront What the hell was going on and why was she asked back to your home. Drunk or not there is no excuse for breaking your bond by doing that. Personally I would be agreeing with the other lady that you may need to think about postponing while you get your head together. I hope whatever decision you make it is the right one for you. I hope you do not let him off lightly, imagine if you did that to him.
make damn sure she's out of your house
go to work (or if you cant face work go shopping or to the gym or to your mums)
stay away from home tonight - if nothing else he needs to know how bloody serious this is.
then come back tomorrow and sit down and talk to him.
If this really is a once-off drunken idiotic event - I would be inclined to forgive him. But I certainly wouldnt let him know that immediately. I'd put him through his paces and a good dose of guilt trip. However, if after talking to him you're not happy that it was a drunken mistake then you have a whole other ball game on your hands.
I personally think that everyone deserves a second chance - but not a third. Just my tuppence worth.
But best of luck hun and do keep us posted on how things develop. Thinking of you x
Oh God - chicken you must be going out of your mind!
Why oh why is it that Christmas parties have this knack of bringing out the worst in us??
I think the ladies are right who say you now need to
for you... Now did you actually see a kiss happen between them??? Or did it just look like you had interrupted something. I know it might sound lame but sometimes our eyes play tricks on us and we can convince ourselves of things. Maybe it wasn't what you thought?
Obviously if you definitely saw a kiss then... Well I'm afraid I'd boot him out. He cheated on you. But to make it worse he did it under your roof with you upstairs. Sorry but he is a massive tool. Drink isn't really an excuse but especially that he was an imminent danger of you catching them at it. I think maybe there is more to this than an innocent mistake. He may have been harbouring worries for a while and sabottaged what you both had in a panic. Either way I couldn't be under the same roof as him for quite awhile (if ever again).
Replied in Relaionships too...
Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you this morning, you've had an awful night of it. You need some space at the moment and as I'm sure he's curled up in a ball hungover somewhere in the house, you should try go somewhere else if only for a few hours. Go to your best friends, have a shower or something to distract yourself, maybe even try rest, you're probably a bit sleep deprived tho I'm sure you prob don't want to sleep.
The only person who can tell you anything really is your h2b and til he's in any fit shape you need to sort your own head out a bit. What do you want? Have you had any doubts or suspicions before that you pretended weren't there? You need to be totally honest with yourself and decide what you are and are not prepared to accept. Forget about the Christmas thing and putting up appearances, concentrate on yourself for now x
Ps if she's still in your house, ring a taxi and haul her a*s outta there
Pps Be prepared to be tough when you do get to speak to h2b, whatever he comes up with just remember that you deserve respect
Oh you poor girl, my stomach flitted when I read your post. I really and truly don't know what to say to you. I know my head says to go to work and talk about things rationally but I know me being me I would've been torn off that girl and kicked her and his asses for being so disrespectful to me. I think in time you can work through this but being so close to your wedding I really don't know how I would feel. I really hope you sort things out, I'm thinking about you