The Breast or Bottle Dilemma.......

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Princess Mom Posts: 304
Hi Everyone I am finding it really difficult to decide between Breast or Bottle Feeding and was just looking for some experiences/opinions and wondering if it is just me? Have you made your minds up yet? Here is my point of view: For Breastfeeding *) Breast is Best and I would like to give my baby a good start even if only for a few weeks. *) It is cost effective *) No sterilising or having to get up for bottles in the middle of the night baby could go straight to boob. *) Bonding mother and baby *) I just feel I would be copping out of the complete mothering experience by not even trying it and feel I would always be guilty for not giving it a go. For Bottlefeeding *) From experience watching others babies that are bottle fed settle easier into a routine. *) I have heard from people and I am open to correction here that once you are breastfeeding in the hospital that the nurses can be quite pushy about it and unsupportive if you are finding it difficult. *) It can take a few days for your milk to come in and you can be left with a hungry cross baby. Is it possible to give the baby a bottle of formula to take away the hunger *) I notice peoples opinions in general are either strongly for one or the other and If you are breastfeeding that you get negative feedback to the tune of would you not just give the baby a bottle? *) I am quite a private person and do not want to end up in uncomfortable situations where I have to get my boobs out. *) If I breastfeed I feel I am taking bonding time away from my Dh with the baby. I know he is really looking forward to being hands on with the baby. *) I and most my generation where brought up on formula and I have never had any medical complications.....touch wood These are just some of the thoughts I have had and I am open to correction....... Please help :thnk
katiemomma Posts: 2690
i fed for the first few days but unfortunately it didnt work out. i felt terribly guilty and cried my eyes out. when i switched to bottle i got given out to. when i was breastfeeding i got given out to. oh you just cant win. i will try again with my second but who cares if it doesnt work out. too much pressure as a new mom and this is pushed on top of you either way. if it does work out for you, you could always try giving a botle a day of formula so they will be used to taking a bottle then when you can express give that in the bottles instead so that dh or whoever can feed baby and bond. i must say once i started dd on bottles she settled straight into a routine and slept 12 hours from 6 weeks on! still does at 5years old! she was a big baby at 8lbs 12.5oz so i think she was a very hungry baby at the start. she then went on and drank all the bottles she could as many ounces as she was given. its up to you really, but in my opinion, sure give it a go, if it doesnt work out dont worry and have a few bottles bought and a sterliser picked out that you would like and dh can pick it up when you need it. also do have support for breastfeeding, make sure you have some one to push you to keep going or to tell you its ok to give up. i had nobody (single at the time) and the nurses werent very nice to me so i just felt useless. so as long as dh or your mom can support your choice you will be ok! sorry im ranting now x
mammymcphee Posts: 4477
im gonna give BF'ing a go and see how i get on, if it doesnt work out then so be it, i heard the nurses are very pushy too to get you to Bf in the hospital I remember my sis feeding in the hospital and when she got home, her son wouldnt feed properly, and she had no baby formula in the house, and he was starving, and her DH had to get up and drive around and look for a place to get some in the middle of the night. so she has said, HAVE SOME FORMULA AT HOME JUST IN CASE!! :wv
BB1 Posts: 752
[quote:29gfy2r8]when i switched to bottle i got given out to. when i was breastfeeding i got given out to. [/quote:29gfy2r8] So true Cat, this was exactly the same for me. DS was over 10lbs so his blood sugars had to be checked every hour for the first day. I remember the snooty wagon of a midwife getting annoyed with me and telling me 'if you dont get him to latch on and feed soon I'll have to give him a bottle, his blood sugars are dropping' Not once did she explain to me that I could give him formula and then try again, I felt I was damaging my baby by not feeding him, so gave him a bottle and kept going with that, no-one told me otherwise. I was so upset and guilty afterwards for not arming myself with enough info to make it work. This time Im well able for any nonsence from midwives, if it doesnt work out I wont beat myself up but I really want that lovely bonding experience (not that I didnt bond with DS by bottle feeding). I just think feck it it'll be really tough for a few weeks but if it works out it'll be brilliant and as you mention OP its so handy not having to sterilise or make up bottles. Why dont you try breast and if you dont like it or it doesnt work for whatever reason go onto bottle. I would do a bit of reading on it first though so you have a bit of an idea what to expect, I think that was my big mistake first time round. Best of luck with whatever you choose.
randomusername Posts: 2134
I'm due in July and had been having the same debate. I've decided that I want to try it for me and baby not for anyone else and I think that's an important point. For Bottlefeeding From experience watching others babies that are bottle fed settle easier into a routine. There is nothing preventing you from giving baby a bottle at night with either expressed milk or formula so you know baby is getting a big feed and is less likely to wake in the night. I would say that stats on getting babies into a routine depend on whether you're militant or not with the feeding. I have heard from people and I am open to correction here that once you are breastfeeding in the hospital that the nurses can be quite pushy about it and unsupportive if you are finding it difficult. If I find the staff are being rude or unsupportive I won't have an issue taking it up with them and have advised DH to do the same. We are patients there not milking machines. However, the hospital staff are under pressure and I think Mothers going in unprepared for the discomfort and then making a fuss about it could get annoying if you've 8 other women also whinging at you. Just my opinion It can take a few days for your milk to come in and you can be left with a hungry cross baby. Is it possible to give the baby a bottle of formula to take away the hunger. Milk take between 2-4 days to come in, in the interim your baby is getting colostrum this should be sufficient. Babies can cry for a number of reasons so not sure how we'd know its hunger? I notice peoples opinions in general are either strongly for one or the other and If you are breastfeeding that you get negative feedback to the tune of would you not just give the baby a bottle? IGNORE PEOPLE. Some people will feel if they have bottle fed that now you are bf'ing you are somehow criticising them for not. Others just don't think its natural or whatever but my favorite saying is "opinions are like a$$holes, everyone has one and they're full of..." crude I know but very very true. I am quite a private person and do not want to end up in uncomfortable situations where I have to get my boobs out. I'm having the same problem but you can buy slings, feeding covers or ponchos. There are also feeding rooms in some shopping centres so it can make going out easier If I breastfeed I feel I am taking bonding time away from my Dh with the baby. I know he is really looking forward to being hands on with the baby. You can express milk and let him do a couple of feeds or alternatively, you feed, he winds and changes. I don't think Dad/baby bonding will be overly affected I and most my generation where brought up on formula and I have never had any medical complications.....touch wood. This is true but like a lot of things we did when younger, we didn't know any better, now we do so we are better informed to make a decision. But you are right there's none of us can definitively state that we have XYZ wrong with us because we were not BF. One small thing to remember is that allergies and digestive problems are now more prevalent than ever and while BF will not eliminate your child from this risk it can help.
PrincessLea Posts: 436
Just to throw my tuppence in, bf:ing is free!!! and it's the worlds handiest take away! no messing with bottles, always the right temperature, always there and always the absolutely best ingridients for your baby. Yes, it might be difficult at the start but as with most things, no pain no gain! Gosh, pregnancy is no dance on roses is it and we still do it! :o0
sparklybabe Posts: 3353
have to stick up for the midwifes here.... as i am one!!! ok i agree with ye we should be able to tell ye that you can mix and that nipple confusion is a pile of poo but in every hospital i have worked in they work under the baby friendly policy which basically means we cant tell ye these things or we are brought up to our bosses. its unfair but true unfortunately :o( this is why i think the baby friendly policy puts pressure on mammys and midwives nd is unrealistic
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
I am going to try it for the sake of the baby and no one else. My sister did a mix of both Bfing and the bottle and she found it great so I think I may switch to that after a few days. My nephew is tall for his age and very healthy so it obviously did him good.
marriedLife Posts: 1881
Another option (which might be alot of hassle for some) but if you are finding the BF-ing hard and not working out as my SIL did - she expressed and then bottle fed the baby - she did this for 6 months. Yes it was alot of work for her because had do do both (BFing and Bottle Feeding). But she couldn't get the baby to latch on at all (and sorry midwives :-8 ) but she said each midwife gave her different/conflicting advice about how to breast feed and she ended up getting really flustered and upset and just started expressing instead. So there is the option that if the BF'ing isn't working out and baby isn't latching on etc.. maybe express and then bottle feed? This gives you the freedom to mix formula and breast milk if you are not around to BF? I am defo going to try and breast feed - really hoping it will work out. But if I do I am going to give them one bottle a day because then they will be used to the bottle as well and will give me more freedom (I know selfish but realistically I know I will want to go out some evenings or do something which will mean I am not on hand to breast feed). I am just going to try and read up as much on it as possible before hand to be prepared for it and going to ask to see a lactation specialist in the hospital before I leave as well. It really is your own choice - I can completely understand why mothers would opt for either of the choices - it's whatever suits you best. Just make sure if you are going to give it a try that you are armed with information beforehand and if it doesn't work out then don't beat yourself up about it :lvs
Idina Posts: 1289
[quote:3j1h6zpt]For Breastfeeding 1.Breast is Best and I would like to give my baby a good start even if only for a few weeks. 2.t is cost effective 2.No sterilising or having to get up for bottles in the middle of the night baby could go straight to boob. Bonding mother and baby 4.I just feel I would be copping out of the complete mothering experience by not even trying it and feel I would always be guilty for not giving it a go. For Bottlefeeding 5.From experience watching others babies that are bottle fed settle easier into a routine. 6.I have heard from people and I am open to correction here that once you are breastfeeding in the hospital that the nurses can be quite pushy about it and unsupportive if you are finding it difficult. 7.It can take a few days for your milk to come in and you can be left with a hungry cross baby. Is it possible to give the baby a bottle of formula to take away the hunger 8.I notice peoples opinions in general are either strongly for one or the other and If you are breastfeeding that you get negative feedback to the tune of would you not just give the baby a bottle? 9.I am quite a private person and do not want to end up in uncomfortable situations where I have to get my boobs out. 10. If I breastfeed I feel I am taking bonding time away from my Dh with the baby. I know he is really looking forward to being hands on with the baby. 11.I and most my generation where brought up on formula and I have never had any medical complications.....touch wood[/quote:3j1h6zpt] 1.Yes 2.It's free 3.So true, I loved it. I have posted my story on here before. I found it really hard at the begining and you ahve to be very determined if you are going to do it (in my experience) but it was so worth it in the end. 4.If you think you will always feel guilty then maybe you should try it. 5.Not always true on either side. One of my friend who BF had he LO sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. Another who FF had he LO in bed until she was 3!! 6.I found the midwives brilliant. I found it very hard but I was very determined adn they were very helpful. 7.This is not true. Your baby is not hungry. It is feeding constantly to bring up your milk supply. If you give formula you will end up affecting the milk supply when it does come in. The first few days are very tiring but worth it. The colostrum that it is getting in these days is more than enough to sustain your baby. 8. I had to combine feed due a supply problem. I still BF for 8 months and built my supply back up because that was what I felt was best for me and DS. I think a lot of it is in people's heads TBH. The guilt come from within. Do what you think is right. 9. You will learn to do it discreetly. No one ever saw my boobs except DH :o0 10. After a few weeks you will be able to express also there will be planty of times when you are not feeding when DH can play with, hold, change your LO. 11. You'll here lots of stories on both sides about this-again it's a personal choice. I was FF and have a medical prob but I wouldn't put it down to formula! I know plenty of kids with allergies who were both FF and BF. BF is not a cure all it is said to help with things like gastro bugs, ear infections allergies. I cannot say DS would not have been the same same had I not BF. I would say attend the Breast Feeding Ante Natal class-or a private one and make and informed and educated decision as to which you want ot go with. It's a personal choice. Also BF helps babies immune system, can reduce incidence of Breast cancer in women, helps your womb to reduce quicker, means you can eat more in ths weeks after birth >:o) ...I went to Weigth Watchers 12 weeks after the brith and was given 10 extra points :o)ll . There are so many benefits to BF (there's a list out ther somewhere!) but it is a personal choice that all mothers have ot make for themselves