The Dreaded +1 Situation

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Jawl Posts: 8881
I think this could be a headache. My wedding is 2011, and I've been drawing up a guest list, and this has cropped up. What are you all gonna do on this? My fellas nieces and nephews are grown up, mine are toddlers. So they're all invited but not their kids. I had to draw the line somewhere. :eek I don't really want it to be a creche. Some of them are attached, some of them are single. I wasn't going to give them a +1 if they aren't with somebody say up to 6 months before the wedding, as it's down to numbers. I can more than easily make up the numbers with our own friends/colleagues/family. My thinking is they'll have family there, they won't be alone. Also my BM is desperate to find a man to take to the wedding. She's also family, and her best friend is being invited too, so I kinda thought as things stand now they could partner each other rather than her asking some random fella she's friends with down the pub, who I've never met. Obviously if she becomes attached between now and then it will be different, but I'm just going along with how things are now. What are you all doing?
DipDab Posts: 1172
The bridesmaid one is a bit odd - she'll be busy for a lot of the day and presumably sitting at the top table so I would have thought it would be very awkward for her to bring a guy unless she's been with him a while and he knows other people. On the general +1 issue, we're doing something similar. If people are in a relatively serious relationship when we are doing up the invites then yes, if not then they won't get a +1. We are struggling to keep the numbers down as it is so we had to go that route.
Jawl Posts: 8881
That's what I think, it would almost warrant a +1 for him! :o0
StupidSexyFlanders Posts: 8402
Like yourself, if there are friends/relatives who are single/casually seeing someone for less than six months then we probably won't be giving them a +1. I was invited to my cousins wedding alone when I had been with H2B about 4 months and it didn't bother me in the slightest - I was surrounded by family and in actuality probably would have felt I had to entertain H2B all day had he been invited since he didn't know anyone then.
Rocksie80 Posts: 4045
It's awkward, isn't it! Have a rough guest list drawn up but can see it's going to be edited and added to a lot over the next 12 months! The +1 issue can be tricky, although most of my guests (so far :innocent: ) have partners that we'd invite anyways. I was reading another thread about the Wol whose mum didn't get a +1 invitation and would have to travel a long distance on her own to attend a wedding. I think in a case like that a +1 should be issued, but if your guests all know each other it's not necessary. I'm hijacking your thread a bit here Jawl, sorry :thnk but also have the problem of keeping numbers down due to the whole "I was at their wedding, they should be asked to mine". I was at weddings years ago, when people had huge 300+ weddings. These would be people I am aquaintences of / went to school with etc and not necessarily good friends of mine. There is a mentality of having to invite them to your wedding in return, even though I won't have seen them in years. How are people getting round that?
MiniBlingfor2012 Posts: 673
I don't really believe in +1 as I think it puts pressure on people to find a randomner to bring. I went solo to most of my friends weddings (until I met himself) and would have hated to be pressured into finding a "date" in time! Nearer the time if someone does have a new boyfriend/girlfriend of 6 months or more then thats different. HTH and good luck doing your numbers, ours change every day it seems :-8
happieout Posts: 3111
Hi there, I did a guest list up last summer and you'd be surprised who can come and go in a few months.. I think put everyone down to start with and over time, you'll have a feeling for what's best for your situation.. Most of our friends are in relationships, but those who aren't I'll invite +1, even though a lot of them wont bother bringing people as they'll be in a gang. Alot of cousins I wont ask +1, as they'll be with family and they don't tend to bring someone unless they're in a relationship. Plus a lot are quite young.Older widowed/single relations and family friends will be on a case by case basis, some of them would be offended, whereas others would love to have a companion for the day. My parents can make that call! I wouldn't expect/ want anyone to travel alone, especially if they didn't know anyone - I want everyone to enjoy the day. Is 6 months the marker of a serious relationship these days by the way!!?
cathm Posts: 7
i think that when someone is a certain age eg 18 and over and they are not goin as part of a family they have to be invited with a plus one. it is not up to the bride to decide how important a new relationship is to a guest. you cannot expect someone not to be insulted if you just invite them on their own..
hunnymonster Posts: 725
we've invited everyone with a plus one. I'm sure some of the single people will come on their own but we're leaving that choice to them not dictating. I don't understand the trying to find a random date arguement. Single people are more likely to bring a friend I would have thought?
havemovedon Posts: 2013
[quote="hunnymonster":1h3gomj5]we've invited everyone with a plus one. I'm sure some of the single people will come on their own but we're leaving that choice to them not dictating. [/quote:1h3gomj5] Same here.