Heres a question
(doesnt apply to those with fertility problems etc.)
Why is it that you start becoming so scientific when trying to concieve i.e. charting your cycle, lying upside down, ovulation prediction kits etc.
What ever happened to "letting nature taking it s course" ?
Not trying myself (if ever) but it just seems so mechanical if you get my drift.
Genuinely Interested to know why those of you with no obvious signs of infertility would do this immediately. This IMO would take the fun / Love out of it.
Whats the story?
Its very hard each month realising that you aren't pregnant so some people decide to do their best to make sure that doesn't happen. I tried opks one month and it didn't work so I've decided that its nookie every second day at least from now on!
I think when you really want to have a baby you are going to do everything you can to increase your chances of getting pregnant ie handstands, opk charting.
Although not ttc at the moment (so maybe this is slightly off your point!), I am charting, and I think the reason I do it is because it's really quite an empowering feeling to be completely in tune with your body.
What I mean is, for the couple of minutes in the morning it takes, the benefits are really wonderful. I know exactly when I'm fertile, know exactly when my period will come, have completely yummy unprotected sex with my DH and not need nasty contraceptive pills, implants, injections (we use condoms when the timing's "dodgy"!)
I don't feel "scientific" or "mechanical" at all - we're literally talking about an investment of a couple of minutes a day for loads of return, as far as I'm concerned. I think it's quite cool and interesting to know what's going on - I think every woman should do it! Also, when the time comes and I DO decide to try and conceive a little one, I'm much more confident that I will be able to achieve pregnancy, or know early on if there is something going wrong.
I also don't think that when we are ttc, the fun will be taken out of it. I imagine it would get very [i:2slm5uc2]disheartening[/i:2slm5uc2] to not have achieved pregnancy after months of trying, but I don't think the sex will be any less fun. I think that making a baby with the person you love most in the world is an unbelievably wonderful and sexy time, and I can't see the charting/handstands/pillows-under-bum/click-your-heels/etc. ever ruining that for me!
I agree with willthiswork.
As you said you are not trying yourself so it is very hard for you to understand what drives people who are trying.
If/When you do try and you wake up with AF when you really hoped she would not show her face then you will understand why people will do whatever it takes to give themselves an extra chance next month.
None of the fun/love is removed, in fact I think it brings you closer as a couple when you are working towards this common goal. Yes it is heartbreaking and can get you down every now and then, but, when both you and your DH are thinking of names and talking about places you want to show your little one,and talking about the stories you are going to tell them about when you were grownig up then you realise you would do anything to make it happen.
I think all of the girls above have explained it well. I feel the same way as Mila about charting, for me it's not scientific or mechanical, it's a great way of getting in tune with my body and it's empowering to feel like I know what's going on, instead of guessing blindly. It only takes a few minutes each day, it's not like it takes over your life.
Also for me personally, we were in a situation (work reasons) where we only had a window of 3-4 months to TTC - I really wanted it to happen so I did everything I could to maximise our chances.
It's different for each person - fair enough if you feel you want to "let nature take its course" and that charting/OPKs would feel mechanical to you, but just because you feel that way doesn't mean others do/will. Different strokes for different folks, ya know?