To have a wedding or go off on our own?? Can't decide

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Magicalday Posts: 13
Hi all, Looking for some advice - we can't decide whether to stick with our plan of having a wedding here in Ireland with 100 guests or just go away ourselves and do it somewhere beautiful on a beach and come back and have a big party in a pub with some finger food. To begin with we were totally against having a wedding as we knew how much they cost and neither of us are very comfortable being centre of attention, then we found a venue we liked and decided it would be lovely to be there on the day, surrounded by family and friends and enjoy a night of dancing etc. Since we made that decision about 8 weeks ago - we have been going between the two ideas of having a wedding or going away. We have a family wedding abroad at the end of next year so were thinking we could just go straight from there and get married ourselves. it wouldn't be fair to bring just my family(who will be at the wedding next year) and we couldn't afford to fly his family over so it would have to be just the two of us. With the cost of having a wedding here spiralling up and up, the idea of going somewhere on our own (not in secret - be open and tell everyone) is appealing but then we think oh what about on the day itself - we would have no one to celebrate with or get ready with etc. so we just can't make up our minds. Any advice from anyone who also struggled with the decision or someone who actually went and had a wedding abroad alone that would be a great help. I know for sure we wouldn't regret having a wedding day here in Ireland and would enjoy it but then i think we could also do it much sooner, in a beautiful place and enjoy a lovely honeymoon and have less stress of a big event if we do it the other way. Aaaahhhhh can't decide! My hubby to be doesnt mind either way - he just wants to get married and would do it tomorrow if i said 'lets go to the registry office' :)
San15 Posts: 26
Hi! I wanted to go to Vegas to get married just myself and himself, he wanted the wedding here. Money was one of the reasons I wanted to go away to get married and also we both have massive extended families which some don't talk to each other and all that so I thought it would be a nightmare! But I spoke to my friends brother who had done something similar and he said himself and his wife always regretted not having the wedding at home with friends and family, even 12 years later! I talked to another friend of mine who had the big 40k wedding and she said she regretted having such a big day so after mulling it all over we're having a humanist ceremony here, dinner and dancing with 100 guests. We had to be fairly brutal on the guest list but our nearest and dearest will be with us on our big day and thinking of it now, I don't think I would truly happy having it any other way. Go with your gut
Magicalday Posts: 13
Thanks San15 - ya my sister spent quite a lot on hers too and really regrets that but doesn't regret the day at all. Its such a hard choice aaaahhhh!! lol Hope you and you're hubby to be have an amazing day :)
San15 Posts: 26
Thank you magicalday. Same to yourselves, just do what's right for ye and don't mind anyone else. It's ye're day!!! Happy planning :-)
Magicalday Posts: 13
Has anyone gone away and had it on their own? I'd love to know if there are regrets or if you were delighted to do it that way. I've come to the conclusion that the main issue is money. With more money i would happily have a wedding here in Ireland but its the cost of one day versus deposit for a house/starting a family basically. Oh this is so annoying lol :-8
esla2016 Posts: 214
There's plenty ways of cutting back on the costs if you do it here - you can do it midweek, or offseason to start, cut down on the numbers, have a dj only instead of a full band, cut the ceremony musicians, cut back on flowers - there's ways. figure out what you really want to spend, what you can get for that here, and see how that fits with what you want!
Lorna Doone Posts: 737
We got married, just the two of us. Abroad. Had a big party when we got back. Never wanted a White Wedding... And our families were delighted. Our wedding ceremony was an emotional moment & such a personal thing. So happy we didn't share it...
Magicalday Posts: 13
Thanks Esla & Lorna, two different perspectives and ways around it :) Lorna, great to hear from someone who did it on their own and that you are happy you did :lvs We are still not sure what we're going to do, my partner didn't mind either way really but cost wise he is now looking at it more practically and leaning towards going on our own, i'm still 50/50 and hoping it will just become clearer soon lol I'll let you know what we decide in the end - hopefully we will make our minds up this side of Christmas! Thanks again all :)
Magicalday Posts: 13
Hey everyone, I just wanted to give you all an update :) After much thought and lots of talking and thinking and talking some more over xmas, we've decided to go for a small wedding in Ireland so thanks for all the advice and help when I was totally stuck - all the viewpoints helped us a lot :) Hope all the planning is going well for you all xx
San15 Posts: 26
Delighted for ye! Happy planning :-)
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