We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Tassie Posts: 34
thanks everyone
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
Firstly Congratulations! :o)ll Now, I would tell the bride as soon as possible but wait untill your 12wk mark if thats what you want to do. What is your relationship with the bride, friend cousin sister ? Alot of brides wouldnt mind i dont think, but possibly she would seen as she already has her dresses, no point in asking is there room for manoover in that dress theres no way it will fit you when your 9 months. I had a pregnant bridesmaid and didnt mind at all- she was only 4 months gone and it didnt effect me, it wouldnt of either if she was very heavily pregnant but obviously it would of had to be considered for the dresses. Im 6.5 months pregnant now and the thoughts of even going to a wedding now never mind being a bridesmaid would make me cry, im tired and not feeling 100% gorgeous, im living in uggs and dread having to put on a pair of shoes/boots. i think with 1 week to go, you will be wrecked, possibly bloated or have swollen hands or feet, or you could go early and she would be a bridemaid short. Its alot to think about, I think if your waivering towards not doing it, I would speak out soon, but i must say if the wedding isnt until August/September she sounds very organised having her dresses paid for and home already. Good luck!
HarmattanRose Posts: 1444
Tassie - Many congratulations. I am going to be (the only) bridesmaid for my friend at the end of February - I will be 7 months by then. However, I did tell her when she asked me that we were TTC and I have ordered a dress 2 -3 sizes bigger than my normal size and empire line. Also this is her second time around. My friend had just given birth 8 weeks before my wedding when she was my only bridesmaid, I didn't mind but I think it was hard going for her. I think your situation is a bit more tricky. I'm sure your friend won't mind but you should think about a couple of things. As yomammaso said You might go early (I went 5 days early with my first). If you get another dress and you don't wear either of them it is quite an expense. You shouldn't be too tired at the end of your pregnancy. I was supposed to work up until the week before I was due, but due to a death in the family I went a couple of days early. It was a good job too as I had DS early. But I was out the night before the funeral, came home cleaned and tided the house and hosted the funeral tea - though it wasn't too big. (this was all 3 days before DS was born). So you can have the energy. However, a girl I work with was due three weeks after me and she was in hospital the last 3 weeks of her pregnancy. How many bridesmaids is your friend/relative having? Will a lot of the work fall to you? I think it depends on your relationship with the bride. If you are quite close then you might want to make the effort to be there for her, if not then I would say to her you would love to, but given how close you are to due date, you don't want to be a burden etc. As for telling her - I personally would tell within the next couple of weeks. I think to keep it until the end of January (only estimating when you would be around 12 weeks) wouldn't be fair on her. I think you need to decide what you want to do and then say to her to give her an opportunity to get another dress or a replacement bridesmaid (if that what she decides). Good luck - I don't envy your choice.
Momof2 Posts: 3884
If I were you I'd bow out tbh with your due date its so close to the big day like you I was due to be a bridesmaid for my BF and was surprised to get my BFP thankfully not long after she asked so no dresses ordered etc.. but I was due 8 weeks before the wedding and I knew there was no way I could do it. Also think about things like the hen etc.. Oh and congratulations :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll On the telling front I'd tell her sooner rather than later I told my friend before we 'generally' told..
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
I told my friend a few days after I found out, thought it was only fair. My first due date was 3 weeks after the wedding but that got moved back to 5 weeks. She didn't mind me being pregnant at all but I still felt it was best to step down. I had no way of knowing how big I'd get or how I would be feeling on the day and really didn't want to run the risk of letting her down nearer the time. Thankfully she hadn't actually ordered the dresses but if I had waited til the 12 weeks she would have had.
happyfamily Posts: 3323
I would tell the bride but ask her not to tell anyone until 13 weeks. Also even if the bride still wants you to be BW DO YOU want to BM. You could go into labour early and leave her without a BM. You'll be heavily pregnant and might not want to be in the spotlight. You might want to go to bed early or just go for the meal and you'll feel under pressure to be there all night if you are BM. I think i'd just step down.
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
i know the girls are telling you to tell the bride and thats fair enough, as long as you trust her not to tell the world, some people have a hard time keeping things secret, and if you want it secret untill 12 weeks you'l know yourself if you trust her or not. . . . but i think you have to make a decision wether you actually want to do it or not before you let her know
Tassie Posts: 34
. Thanks again girls really appreciate your input! :thnk
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
[quote="Tassie":2w2fek2u]The bride is my sister, my entire family are involved in the bridal party so either way I will be drawing attention to myself if i'm bridesmaid or not especially as the pregnancy really was not planned or is ideal timing (very happy about it though :o)ll ). [/quote:2w2fek2u] ah - i think it will all work out fine love if its your sister - congrats again !
happyfamily Posts: 3323
Ah well at least if the bride is your sister you'll be keeping the news within the family. Congratulations on the news :o)ll