Hi cherry 76 - fair play to you for being there for your friends through their marriages, pregnancies etc. Like you, I would be hurt if i regarded them as friends, and they didn't acknowledge significant events in my life, and i had acknowledged theirs.
If there are plausible reasons for them not being there, relating to pregnancies etc, i would forgive and forget. if, at the same time, your friends feel they are "past this stage" i would focus on those who are genuinely happy for you and wish you the best for the future xxx.
fair enough if one of them is pregnant then she cant make it but she could at least give you a pressie and a card as for the others who has been there done that that isn't an excuse they should be delighted that you are getting hitched and helping you out as for your other friend she isn't really a friend .......... mine is total different than yours bu when i got pregnant on dd my so called best mate was like oh that's great and slowly stopped asking me out even if it was to the pictures when i had my dd she didn't come to the hospital to see.. her she waited a week to call in to me i lived a few doors away from her and when i had her christing she didn't show up at all .. i learned the hard way so to speak the one person i wanted there was not there you learn who your real friends are when you really need them iykwim
I really feel for you. It's obvious that people are busy and all encompassed in their own lives at the moment.
I've come to the conclusion that you really can only depend on yourself. No matter whether it's family, friends, H2B, there's only 1 person you can ALWAYS rely on and that you.
You're stronger than you think.
Maybe its s blessing in disguise that you found out who your friends truly are, before you emigrate?
Maybe you are just too much of a giver.
Would it be possible to say to any one of the friends, I'm really upset because i haven't seen anyone and everyone seems to be getting on with their lives and letting our friendships fizzle out whereas i'ld like to stay in touch. Or if you send a text to the girls saying lads, i'm feeling a bit lonely and down, havn't seen anyone in ages, would love to meet up , is anyone free on x day/night.
After that what can you do? I'm sure they all love you but are just caught up in their own lives.
No matter how close you are with friends, i think you always need to keep making new ones, that are in the same circle/frame of mind/ stage in their life as you.
Hope this helps and best of luck in your move.xx
Ps here is some love
That's a desperate situation, it strikes me they are no friends at all! Please don;t make yourself miserable over them! I am sure wherever you move with your H2B you will make new friends and hopefully better ones.
One thought, sometimes especially nowadays people are busy and thoughtless, rather than mean. I would ring the people you really wanted to go, tell them straight out you are disappointed and say you hope they may yet make it. If they are real friends and have been just a bit thoughtless or caught up in themselves, they will pull the fingers out and make arangements to go.
otherwise, you know, look forward to the future cos it'll be better when you are with people who will support and appreciate you!
Bree Van De Kamp
I know exactly how you feel, I found the same thing with my supposed "best friend" but it happend ever before I got engaged.
When I bought my first house (even though I bought all my electrical goods off her) she never came to see it, no card, nada. She was always a bit lax about our friendship, ie. her phoning to organise to meet me and then forgetting to turn up. After 6 months I sent a text inviting her out for an evening as H2B was away for the night, 2 days later I got a reply saying "sorry I have plans with (lets say Mary)" another friend of hers who bought a house at teh same time. She had of course been to Marys house, in fact she practically lived there, stayed there most weekends, I was no bloody good to her as my house wasn't in town so she couldn't use it as a crash pad. Told her that as it took her 2 days before she could be bothered replying I had made other plans and she gets stroppy and starts whining about how busy she is and she got to bed late cause her social life is so hectic.....in fairness now, how long does it take to send a text?!! Had a huge row by text and ended up telling her to stick it. Past her on the street a month or so later and thought to myself, I have nothing in common with you anymore but I can at least be civil so I said hello and continued walking.......the B blanked me!!
Needless to say she is not invited to the wedding......though her parents and sister will be.........bitchy? me??
Your poor thing
Best advice is as someone else said, is to concentrate on those who do care. I would prob also make myself a little less available to them when the next occasions arise. The pregnant ones I can understand, the one who just can't be bothered, well her loss at end of day she's obviously a selfish so and so.
I kind of feel the same but its in relation to my family. I'm the eldest of six and will be the first to get engaged/married (when we make it official!!!!).
It seems I spend alot of time helping them, sending them cards for various occasions, listening to their probs, doling out advice when they come running but at the back of it all when I need a bit of help etc its not forth coming at all.
We are going away to get married. Want both sets parents there obviously but leaving it up to both sets of siblings whether they come or not and it pains me to say it but I reckon there will be at least 2-3 of my 5 siblings who mightn't bother coz its me.
Crikey Cherry, if I had a friend moving to Dubai I'd be doing no end of sucking up to them! You lucky thing, its a fab place.