Unemployment; feeling like a useless heap of sh!te.

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Rogue User Posts: 6101
I'm sure there has to loads of unemployed people on here. The way things are and all. I am unemployed and not coping well at all. I hate doing nothing, even worse, I hate doing the cleaning and cooking and shopping and being at everyone's beck and call cause "sure you're employed, you've nothing to do; only dying for something keep you busy." And in some ways that is true. I would love something to do. But it does not mean I want to bring your dog for a walk cos you're too lazy to do it yourself or go for coffee with you every morning (I HAVE NO MONEY!) - Oh girls I'm just going crazy. I'm trying to write but I have no motivation whatsoever. Trying to keep my blog going but I just have zero ideas right now. And zero get up and go. I have to drag my self out of bed every day and the thoughts of doing the same old crap day in day out is soul destroying. I love cooking but I am SICK of making the f*cking dinner. For the first time in my life I do not want to cook the f*cking dinner AT ALL! But he's at work so I have to cos it wouldn't be fair for him to come home and do it. He's so good he would cook the dinner if I asked but I just couldn't. I've applied for a million jobs and a million internships, nothing back but a few refusals. I really want to write a book, I have an idea but whenever I sit down to do anything I just can't seem to actually do it. Half of that is because I keep expecting my self to do the housework, cook the dinner, say yes to every offer of a coffee or walk. It's like I can't relax and get into anything as I know in the back of my head I should be doing something else. If you now what I mean? Jesus, this post is so moany and ungrateful and self pitying, sorry. There is a point to it though! I want to know what do you do to keep your spirits up? I already go to the gym, I eat a very healthy diet so it's more fun and mentally stimulating things I need. How do you stay positive? How do you get over the monotony of the daily nothingness? How do you tell people to get lost politely when they keep asking have you got a job yet.
alwayshoping Posts: 409
im not unemployed thankfully but couldnt read and not reply. you sound so down. have you tried talking with your dh. let him know how you feel. you are not unless you are unfortunatly just a product of the times. which is shit for you. its ok to moan. the only thing i can suggest is volenteering. maybe see if you can voleenteer for something that you are interested in? sorry if thats a crap idea
Penny Hill Posts: 1898
Aw I know its hard to keep a positive outlook. And it is defintely damn hard to keep a positive attitude when you've to do the same thing day in day out. I am not unemployed but I teach and am off for the summer, and I am already slightly fed up, which is so ungreatful and I'm sure loads of people would love to be off on paid leave. And thats the difference too, I am getting paid, so for you I can understand the boredom, and on top of that not getting a proper wage must be worrying and frustrating. Refuse the people who ask you to go for coffee, or ask them over to you instead for a coffee, if its a moneys thing. The thing I think also is that cos you are home all day you automatically feel like the house should be clean and the washing should be done etc. But if you were in a regular 9 to 5 this wouldn't be done till the weekend or evening. Just because you are at home does not mean you have to do everything. Would you consider even locking yourself in a room for a couple of hours each morning, and actually start writing? Treat it like a part time job. Even go to the local library each morning if you can't do it in the house? Have you any hobbies you could focus on, knitting, baking, making things? I realise there are only so many walks you can go on or cakes you can bake before it gets tedious. Chin up !
mammy2011 Posts: 1388
Are there any courses you can do? Teach yourself a new skill - cake decorating, embroidery? How about a big clear out of books, clothes etc and sell them on adverts.ie? You could make a few quid too. Voluntary work - visiting old people etc. Sorry if my suggestions seem a bit clich├ęd.
foxglove Posts: 587
Aw sorry to hear that, its a horrible time especially as your self esteem takes a dip, i was unemployed for a few months but only for the wedding being a few months away i would have cracked up. Its hard when your routine gets turned up side down, i hear you on the housework, you get so fed up of doing the same things, i used to just have a weekly list of things to do in the house (nothing strict) so that at least i knew whatever needed to be done would get done. Look at least you are actively seeking work, think of each cv you send off as being a potential new job, its hard to be positive and stay focused i know. You mentioned you go to the gym and eat healthily which are very positive things so keep it up no matter how tempted you are to give in. I dont have any real advice re the writing but i hope you can find some motivation to spur you on, like another poster said a change of scenery like library or park or somewhere nice to walk, you might just be getting cabin fever and its same old same old which can be very lonely. after all that waffle i realised i havent really given you any advice but just to say i have been there before and you will get through it, think of the many years you have working before you are dying to retire and try not to beat yourself up for this tiny fraction of your life you are unemployed. All the best in finding a new job :xox
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
I can honestly say that I know how you feel after having gone through it for 2 years! I would advise to keep an eye on the local papers as well as that is how I got my one, it was not advertised anywhere else. And it was also through a friend that kept an eye on the papers for me! Thanks KAW! :-8 :o)ll Best of luck!
Bazinga T McBinkers Posts: 4718
Why not turn the negative into the positive? Make a blog about unemployment and money being tight. Try all the free things, cost saving ideas, cost effective activities, job hunting. That way your mind is occupied and you are writing so you are killing two birds with one stone. I was unemployed for a year before I got the job I'm in now and I wish I had the internet to do that. Might sound naff to you though :-8
R2theB Posts: 1660
Sorry you're feeling so [email protected] BOR. I don't have much advice that hasn't already been offered. It's hard to keep yourself busy and occupied when you're broke. Recently my working week has gone down to 3 days, and while initially I enjoyed the 4 days off I'm starting to feel a bit sh!t about it now, as lucky as I am to have a job at all of course. Trying to save for wedding/honeymoon/deposit too so when my friends who are on mat leave etc are like "YAY! Let's go for lunch/coffee/daytime things that cost money" I have to say no, have started inviting people over for a cuppa or a walk in the park near me instead. One thing I'm trying to make sure I do is go to bed at a decent hour and get up early enough. I know myself, if I'm up 'til all hours and sleeping until noon I feel absolutely depressed. Spending too much time on the internet makes me feel terrible as well, days just disappear when you're on the net and you've rarely achieved much, so now I make sure I'm reading loads too (joining local library a great suggestion!). And I also set myself one or two tasks a day, nothing major, just things like potting plants, or organising the wardrobe, or writing a blogpost. Just something to make myself feel useful. Don't mind people asking about have you found a job, while it's tiresome to give the same answer, in the current climate absolutely nobody's going to judge you, you know you're busting your @ss looking for one so that's all that matters. Best of luck with the job hunt in the meantime! :action32
IvytheTerrible Posts: 950
Aw BOR I could have written your post word for word. I lost my job 3 years ago and have only been able to pick up temp jobs for 2-6 months here and there so I have been in your position many times in between. I am totally peed off today as I had a day off (we have to take all our annual leave now) and it reminded me of what I am facing into in 2 weeks time. The only thing that kept me sane in the past was having a plan for each day, getting out for a walk or aqua aerobics which tires me out and voluntary work. Already, I am making a list of things I need to do around the house. DH should really be doing some of them but if I take my time and do a bit, it saves him taking annual leave or filling his weekends doing jobs. I hear what you are saying about the housework and dinners etc so what I do is only do that some days. If I make a pot of something, half is kept in the fridge or freezer for the following day, so it's an easy dinner. Maybe if you tried this, it would free up your time for making a start on the book? Could you make a start by just writing down a few ideas and making a structure for the chapters etc? The same goes for surfing the net for jobs, you can only do all of these things for so long each day! I also enjoy the voluntary work, I would have to work myself up to make a start but once I start, it can be very rewarding. Maybe there is a voluntary post which would tie in with your writing skills or it can be a good way to try something totally different. Hopefully it doesn't do your CV any harm either. Best of luck and chin up :action32
mrs mammy Posts: 1487
[quote:3ca90dex]It's like I can't relax and get into anything as I know in the back of my head I should be doing something else. If you now what I mean? [/quote:3ca90dex] I know what you mean. I did a writing course a few months ago and our instructor spoke about this, we can find a million reasons not to sit down and start because the dishes need washing or the kids need their dinner that sort of thing. She said you just have to sit down and do it and push all those thoughts out of your head, try not to let your mind wander, dont start browsing online or anything, just sit down and start. Thats great that you have an idea for your book!! I know what its like to be unemployed, its very tough, soul wrenching. I think the idea for the blog about being unemployed is brilliant but maybe you've already done this. What about doing some volunteer work while you're searching? It might get some new ideas for your book and blog in the process, characters and plots and such.