unplanned pregnancy

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oceanside Posts: 12
Hi I found out I was pregnant shortly before christmas. At first I was shocked and upset but me and my boyfriend have now decided to keep it and are v excited. the problem is my family - I am not sure how to tell my mum as she is v traditional and the same thing happened to my sister less than a year ago (she had been with her boy for years and is now engaged to him and v v happy) my mum is now delighted with my sisters baby and couldn't be a better granny but she still makes comments about god forbid the same thing happening to me and its terrible what happened etc..it really took a lot out of her the last time round so I feel so guilty doing it all agin to her any people same situation?
Dora the explorer Posts: 1570
THis was me 6 years ago and my relationship broke up, my parents where the best support ever. They may surprise you, are you still living at home?
luckyduck Posts: 173
oceonside This happened to me 11 years ago. I was only 20 at the time and with my bf of 3 yrs then. My folks could not stand him.At first, I found it very hard to accept the news but told them nearly straight away as i knew i was going to keep him. After the initial omg shock, they slowly came around and have been the best grandparents they could be since. The relationship with my son's father broke up before my ds was one, so it ended up they were right about him all along!!! 11 years later, I am married to the most wonderful man and expecting my second baby and couldnt be happier. I cannot imagine my life without my ds, and even though it was hard initially all those years ago-it couldnt have worked out any better :thnk So congratualtions to your and your bf on your great news- your parents will be fine.
oceanside Posts: 12
I must add that we are together 2 years but haven't lived together i have lived out of home for 6 years now.
hopingforsoon Posts: 1152
What you need to keep in mind the whole time is that while they are your family, you don't need their permission or blessing to do anything anymore. Yes, it would be great if they were delighted for you, but even if they are not, it's not the end of the world. And as well, any negative reactions they may intially have are just that - reactions ... not a permanent attitude to your pregnancy and this baby. They'll get over it - let them huff and puff for a while and once they have it out of their system, they'll realise that in order to be part of your life and this baby's life, they will have to support you in this. Head up - this is a good thing. A new life is always good news.
candyfloss Posts: 704
Hi Oceanside, I'm in exactly the same boat, just found out last week. Getting married in 4 months, hadnt planned big bump. Also H2B out of work n I'm about to accept a promotion!! Not sure how that works if I'm preggers. H2B's family are really difficult and are refusing to acknowledge the wedding as it is....this'll make things doubly horrendous and they probably wont come to the wedding if we tell them. H2B is feeling like he has to choose between his baby and his parents. Your parents may be a little disappointed but in the end of the day, they already adore your sisters baby, so I bet they wont be long getting excited and they'll adore yours too. But saying that I'm still quaking in my boots at the thought of telling mine and mine are quite relaxed, although my mother will cry w mortification at the wedding probably. It's so hard, we've only just decided to keep ours too but its still very scary and we're not even young, we're in our 30's!! Feel free to pm me if your want to chat. Best wishes, Candyfloss
jammydodgers Posts: 42
I was in a similar position OP. My sister had her LO about 2 years prior to me getting preg & she had only been with the dad for a short time. Parents weren't at all happy. When I told them I was preg I just piped up "so how do you feel about becoming grandparents again?" Needless to say they were quite disapointed to say the least, it lasted until they saw the first scan. You didn't plan things this way so don't feel bad about letting them down. They'll get over it. Do try not to stress out about it 'cos that's no good for your or babs. Best of luck
esmum Posts: 426
I have just found out also . It was not planned. We had our wedding booked abroad for July. I am not too worried about telling my family as it will be the first grandchild and I think they will be delighted.
oceanside Posts: 12
And as well, any negative reactions they may intially have are just that - reactions ... not a permanent attitude to your pregnancy and this baby. Thanks - thats exactly what I needed to hear - sometimes its good to remember that it is my life and other people while I value their opinion are not making the decisions!!
January87 Posts: 280
Hiya oceanside... I was you ten months ago... although it was the first grandchild... I told my mam pretty casually, because I knew I would shock her if I sat her down formally... and I needed someone on my side to help me tell my dad... My baby was unplanned, and my dad hit the roof, shouted for about an hour how I was ruining my life and that I'd never go anywhere now. All that ended the day Addison was born! He came up to the hospital and he couldn't stop looking at her, he can't take his eyes off her it's amazing. My mam was the same, she called me a "friggin ee jit" a couple of times and then came to my last scan with me!! Your mam will be fine, maybe a bit shocked, but she won't love you or your baby any less!