Unsure about our ceremony

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Mooberry Posts: 68
So the background is this, I was raised Catholic but am non-practicing. I'd like to light the unity candles at our ceremony like a Catholic ceremony and I would like there to be somewhat of a spiritual feel to it. My H2B was not brought up with any religion, and is quite against the Catholic church and any mention of God. However, he does have a part Jewish background and would like to do some Jewish traditions at our ceremony. So we thought about having a civil ceremony in our venue but were worried about the number of people we can fit in the room and if it would be squashed. I also felt like it is a lot of work to organise the civil ceremony (in terms of getting the venue approved etc) as we are organising the wedding from abroad. And I'm not sure we could do any of these 'religious' aspects like the candles and smashing the glass and we would have to stick with the civil ceremony format. We went to visit the Unitarian church on Stephen's green and I really liked it. It would hold our numbers and seems to be very flexible on what we want to incorporate into the wedding in terms of lighting candles, doing some Jewish traditions, saying our own vows and picking our readings. However, I don't know if some religious elements have to be mentioned, I think that if there is any talk of God the H2B will not be at all happy. So there's my dilemma. To me the ceremony is really important, I want it to be personal to us (and to fit everyone comfortably!). Has anyone any advice, or knows if the Unitarian church would be ok with not mentioning God? Part of me feels like that's a ridiculous question given that it's a Christian church (and maybe insulting to them?). I don't know what to do and would love to know if anyone else had a hard time choosing the right ceremony for them.
ninja next Posts: 1548
You can incorporate the candle lighting into the civil ceremony but there can be no religious content, ie readings/poems & songs must be secular. Apart from that you can personalise it quite a bit, ie write your own vows, include singing, readings ect. A lot of hotels & private wedding venues have already been approved so its not hard to organise - maybe check has your venue held a civil ceremony before. Re the unitarian church as far as i know it will be somewhat religious as it is a christian church so I would imagine god will be in there somewhere - some info on it here http://www.unitarianchurchdublin.org/weddings.htm
Flower Girl Posts: 1645
We're getting married in the Unitarian church next year. We're both from Catholic backgrounds, but neither of us considers ourselves Catholic any more, and we didn't want to just go through the motions for the sake of convenience. Luckily, both our families are very supportive of whatever sort of ceremony we want to have. When we went in to talk to the minister and book our wedding, we were given sample ceremony booklets from weddings that have been held there over the last year or so. The amount of religious content varied enormously - one couple had no mention of God whatsoever in their ceremony, whereas another had an actual Mass with Communion and everything. So it seems to be very much up to the couple themselves to decide. We haven't got to the stage of actually writing out our ceremony yet, but we'll be on the less religious side. Hope that helps!