upset about name

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lmc1978 Posts: 423
hi girls, one of my best friends had a baby today (im due next week) and has called her baby a name almost identical to one i had told her i was going to use.dont want to say the name in case im recognised but its not an unusal name and i know no one owns names etc but i have been a bit upset by this since earlier today. im annoyed at myself for telling her my names i was going to use and then annoyed that she never told me her names. feel like i am clueless about this whole baby naming business :o( if i had asked someone and they said oh if its a girl we're calling it X and if its a boy we're calling it Y i never would have called my baby X or Y after hearing that a good friend had chosen the name. now i love the name i had picked and had said it that i would use it from when i was 6weeks gone so i want to still use it but it seems like the shine has been taken off it a bit or something. can anyone relate to this or am i being irrational? hormones eh? :-8
steen Posts: 1335
Why not go ahead and use the name as well. I dont see anything wrong most likely if the name is in common use there will be more than one in the class going to school etc. I remember Gillian was very popular the year I was born and there was Gillian X, Gillian Y and Gillian Z going to school.
Salander Posts: 1639
Told SIL my favourite baby name (before i was pg) she said she wasn't pushed about it - then we got the text saying thats what they had called their baby - i was mad - still am a bit - not even sure why - it just grates! not telling anyone the names we have picked out now for fear of something similar happening! Same SIL is pushing me to name mine after her father (long english version) and my dh (short irish version) if its a boy but i hate the name!!
lmc1978 Posts: 423
Hi steen, thanks for the reply.you're right and very sensible. i will probably use it anyway but im upset that now it will seem that i am copying her when im not. i know its trivial but that's just bothering me today. the name in question is common enough but its just that its my best mate and now our 2 children born literally days apart will have almost identical names.... i have little to be worrying about i know! im telling you its hormones! thanks for the reply anyway. happy friday to ya!
Emme Posts: 4735
i relate to it!! I kept telling my BF a name i loved when she was pg, was only name myself and DH agreed on and she called her babs that but I wasn't pg at the time so couldn't be too miffed, I plan on using a variation anyway. My situation was different than yours, in all fairness I shouldn't have tried to bagsy the name when I wasn't even pg. But if I was in your situation I'd go mad! Wouldn't care if it was rational or not!!
Forgottenpassword Posts: 1078
Of course you are going to be a bit upset, but, think about it in the overall scheme of things. It is not as if these children are destined to be best friends and hang around together and have similar names - they might not even like each other :o0 Yes it is hormones, because I am due around the same time as you and I would feel very similar to how you feel, but, as you said it is not an unusual name and your friend might have already had it picked out herself before she asked you, or it might be an old family name for her, or any number of other reasons. I never tell anyone our names before the baby is born - I bet you won't in future either!! Go ahead and use the name, there is no reason not to. Is it very very similar or only slightly similar? FP
lmc1978 Posts: 423
it similar enough that people would get them mixed up. spelled differently but pronounced almost the same. like anna and anne for example. you're right i wont be telling anyone my names for the next one if we're lucky enough to have another. i suppose its just i feel under pressure to come up with a lovely name that means something to both of us but that is also not too 'common'! ah well. ill live and learn i guess. thanks for sympathising ladies.
hipbaby Posts: 4530
Do you think she had liked the name as well before you mentioned it to her? Or have you spoken to her since about it? I know my SIL had chosen a name from when she was small and she and her bf were both pg at the same time. The bf couldn't decide on a name and loved my SIL's chosen name and asked her could she use it. She did use it (slight variation) and it is lovely to see the girls playing away together now! I knwo it is different in that this bf asked..
vonnyoc Posts: 2688
I am not PG yet but I had Isobel or Isabelle for my name if I did have a girl. I mentioned my names to my aunt a few weeks before her due date & low & behold she called her daughter Isobel!!! I'm disgusted it was my favorite name & Dh's I love my aunt & she had a daughter after 4 boys so I am thrilled for her but I wanted that name :o(
lmc1978 Posts: 423
she hadnt told me that she liked the name i had picked but she hadnt told me any names she liked. thats kind of why i am annoyed. she got all of my names i was thinking of using out of me and didnt tell me any of hers! O:| ah its a popular enough name so i suppose it was bound to happen but i just feel as if people will think im copying her now or something. i know i shouldnt care what people think but realistically i do! i would be annoyed about someone in my family using the name i had picked too vonny. whatever about a friend using it if its in your family there's no escaping hearing it all the time. i spoke to her last night but didnt mention the name as there is no point. the child has been named at this stage and i was so happy for her i didnt want to say anything to upset her. i will probably end up having a boy so it wont be an issue anyway :o0