Nov Bridie 09
I've only just joined today, although I've been browsing since we got engaged. I guess I just need to vent. My Mum passed away a few years ago, when I was 24. Since then, I've set up my own business, met hubbie to be, etc. With everything that's happened, I have always been sad that she has not been with me to share it. But now I feel really angry that she's not here & I keep feeling really teary. The whole wedding planning is so overwhelming & all of Mum's friends are calling me regularly to make "suggestions" or "comments" which is helpful, but kinda frustrating too! They all keep telling me how Mum would have done it ... I just feel so angry with Mum for not being here. She would have helped with everything and would have been brilliant. I just miss her so much...
I'm sorry - I'm sure most newbie first posts are really happy ones! I just don't have anyone to share this with as I can't handle the "pity" looks. Hubbie to be's mum isn't alive either and my grandmother passed away recently. I can talk to my sis but she lives overseas.
I am so happy to be marrying my perfect man and am so excited about the whole thing. I just wish I had my Mum with me to share it...
You poor thing, you are not silly, in fact I can understand completely, as will probably a lot of wollies reading your post who have not had loved ones with them on the day and leading up to it.
As you said, you are marrying your perfect man, so make the most of him. I'm sure he will understand what you are feeling.
My heart goes out to you pet, I really hope that this doesn't get you too down over the course of your plans cos you should be happy at this time. I'm sure your mum would want you to be happy.
Sorry for the essay! P.S. we are both november 09 brides by the looks of it. PM if you need anything or even just want a good rant, Take care xxx
Don't really know what to say to you but wanted to reply to you. Firstly you are not being silly. You are feeling something totally normal. I also lost my mother many years ago now but I have both the sad and angry feelings sometimes. I don't think I'm angry at her as such but just flipping angry and sad about the situation. Planning for a wedding is such a big thing in your life and obviously there are people you would love to share that with. Whatever you do, don't ignore these feelings. However silly you think they are, they are real and they are your feelings. Maybe try talking to H2B about them if you can. Don't bottle them up. I know I've had a few teary moments with my h2b about this and while he usually hasn't one clue what to say to me, often a big hug can make me feel so much better.
Just sent you a private message
You def aren't silly. I'm in the same position as you. My mam died nearly 2 years ago and I'm finding all this really hard. I totally understand where you are coming from. I get really cross and angry too. I just don't know how I'm going to get through the day. I ofen ask myself if I'm ready. Not ready to marry h2b, I love him to bits but ready to go through the big day. I think if you keep talking to h2b it will help. I've a habit of bottling things up and then exploding which def isn't the thing to do. The day is getting closer and I find myself crying a lot. I know when I speak to h2b as to how I'm feeling, I have a good cry and he's there to cuddle me and I always feel better after that. I know I haven't been of much help but just so you know, you aren't silly and what you're feeling is normal.
Firstly, welcome to WOL...and congrats on your engagement
Unfortunately I am in the same position as you, lost my mam to the big C a few years ago and I am really sad knowing that she isn't here to help me or see me on my big day.
My sis got married 2 years ago and although we were very sad the day went very well, and I was there for my sis throughout the planning.
I am lucky that I have my sis and a cousin that should by my sister we are so close and they will help me with the planning.
Please don't let anyone interfere or upset you with your plans and enjoy the organising
I am soo sorry for your loss, both of my parents are alive so i can only imagine what you are going through. you must think back and remember all the good times you had with your mother, think of how excited she would be and know that she is looking down on you and watching over you on your special day.
dont take any notice of what the other women say, people always meddle in wedding organisations if you ask me . hope this helps
I've been raging with my son all evening for walking muck all through hall and up the stairs..... Reading your post just made me put things in perspective and has tears rolling down my cheeks.... I've nothing to be annoyed about really....
Wish you all the best with your plans and remember your Mam is never far away...
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you not having your mam around at such a special time. I have often said throughout this awfully stressful time that I would prefer if my family would go away and leave me alone, but when I read posts like this it makes me realise how selfish and silly I am being. There are people out there like yourself who only wish they had their family around them no matter how annoying they are. I like most people have people I would love to be there on my wedding day especially my granny who died when I was 16 and I miss everyday. I haven't lost a parent so I can't even start to imagine how horrendous it is, or the anger involved in feeling robbed of such a special bond, but I do know that no matter what I am sure your mam is with you. She is close to you and looking out for you and she will be with you on your special day. This is only a small help to you I know, but I hope it gives you some kind of support.
If there is anything any of us can do for you we will, this site is amazing for support and friendly chats especially when the wedding stuff is getting on top of us B2B's.
Hope we can help and you feel a bit better from knowing we are there for you
Sorry for the big essay
Hi and welcome to our new wollie friend
Best of Buds
Sending you a big (((hug)))......I lost my Mom on the 20th of January this year and its the hardest thing I've ever gone through...Times like this bring up all the hurt again but you must try to enjoy your wedding and the build up. I'm sure its what your Mom would have wanted. xx