Upset confused and happy - Page 2

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lillyD Posts: 59
[quote="Jawl":aqyvz5rm]Mrs. Diamond I think you are going about things the right way. Best of luck with it all and don't take your colleagues comments to heart.[/quote:aqyvz5rm] + 1 your colleague is obvioulsy going through a difficult time. Probably hard, but try and ignore it as much as you can. At the end of the day all that matters is your family and the boys at this very special time. And I think that they are very lucky to be so much involved with their future baby brother/sister :heartbeat:
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
[quote="lillyD":2qg3lm9o][quote="Jawl":2qg3lm9o]Mrs. Diamond I think you are going about things the right way. Best of luck with it all and don't take your colleagues comments to heart.[/quote:2qg3lm9o] + 1 your colleague is obvioulsy going through a difficult time. Probably hard, but try and ignore it as much as you can. At the end of the day all that matters is your family and the boys at this very special time. And I think that they are very lucky to be so much involved with their future baby brother/sister :heartbeat:[/quote:2qg3lm9o] your right girls thanks!! it would be a shame to fall out over this 7 years is a long time being friends and never fell out before, this im not backing down on i feel it was right for my family ! thanks - i realy thought i was going to be berated ! i didnt know how people would feel as i was so shocked by her reaction ! Being friends might not be so easy now, i told DH on the way to scan and he now thinks she is a FOOL and i know any effort he would of made at x-mas do's work do's is gone out the window now, he is soo not impressed with her!
Elban26 Posts: 2458
Mrs Diamond, nothing to add but just to say I agree with all the other posters. Your baby, your step sons, your situation... Your decision and I think you were right! Best of luck iwth the rest of the pregnancy.
paperclips Posts: 3146
mrsdiamonds, I think you are great to be so considerate of your stepkids. I think its fantastic that you want them to feel so included and you want them to be excited and to understand that they are going to have a bro/sis in a couple of months time. I personally dont see anything wrong with what you've done. Your life, your decisions - dont let her spoil this for you Best of luck with pregnancy :lvs
DublinGirl Posts: 1307
Hi Mrs Diamonds, No I most certainly don't think you were wrong at all....Your 'friends' reaction was indeed very strange and it sounds to me like she was thinking of herself in this situation if it were her and how SHE might feel and got carried away and took it out on you a bit....You did right to walk away....She had a bit of a cheek to be honest. I think once things calm down she will see how she over reacted and hopefully SHOULD apologise to you...However if she doesn't apologise, just put it down to a difference of opinion and leave well enough alone....although you think you might 'know' her well, you mightn't actually 'know' her at all and what is going on in her life....Sounds to me like she had a lot of issues......Just keep things light from now on (although it doesn't seem fair as this is an exciting and special time for your family)..... On the other hand, some people, particularly the older generation, can be quite prudish still about this kind of thing....SILLY I KNOW.....for example...when I was pregnant on my second baby our first girl was 7 and learning all about babies in the womb etc etc in school..Because she was old enough and it was a big special important time for us all I decided to include her in the major 20 week scan...The consultant took pride in explaining everything to her and showed her exactly what was where etc.....She was beaming......... When I told my MIL she tut tutted saying that it was no place for kids etc etc and that it was a private thing.....AND basically gave out to me saying I wasn't all there..... O:| O:| O:| This did upset me but I didn't let upset me tooo much as she is the OLDER GENERATION OF THE OLDER GENERATION and is quite out spoken and set in her ways....I know her too well and do love her in her own special way, too much to let above come between us, so I let it go....... Big hug to you and try not let your 'friend's' reaction get to you......It's her who is in the wrong.....NO WAY ARE YOU!!! Well done for inviting your step sons along...If I was their mammy I would be delighted I think that you included them soooo much...... :wv :wv :wv :wv
Finished here Posts: 2860
Aw Mrs D that was such a lovely thing to do with the boys. I am sure that this situation is difficult for you and it sounds like you are going out of your way to keep the boys included, they and their Dad must be very proud of you :lvs Your colleague sounds like she has a lot of issues and sounds like the type of parent that will make her ex's life hell because of her own pain and in the process will hurt and possibly ruin her relationship with her children. Splitting up from the father/mother of your children is the most painful and difficult thing and unfortunately most people in this situation have no idea how to put the kids first. You and your DH do and are and DO NOT let that other woman's issues cloud your judgement and decisions, those two boys are now excited and happy about the impending arrival of their new brother or sister, I am sure that it is painful for their mum (but this is not your fault or responsibility its simply a fact that these situations are tough) but she sounds like she is supporting them and at the end of the day its the children who are most important in this situation, the reaction of your two step boys shows you that you made the right decision and best decision for you and your family, therfore your friends reaction does not count - it has been invalidated by your step children's reaction and their state of mind !
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
dublin girl thanks for that. thing is i do know her well and she always confided in me of the ins and outs and her horrible ex and at the moment all is going great for them and i too confided in her of all the problems we have had on a continous basis with my dh ex, (i could write a book by the way) and this is why i was soo shocked at her reaction. Ah well thanks fatfrog- i realy dont know what else to say as this reaction is totally opposite to the reaction i thought id get this isnt like her.
theoracle Posts: 7664
No, I don't think you were in the wrong at all. I think she was just horrified at the thought of picturing her ex with a new family and the same scanrio for herself, she obvioulsy would be resentful in the same set of circumstances, but it is her attitude that is wrong. Glad you had a lovely experience, it sounds so sweet and it is cute that the boys were so excited, it is only right to put their needs/feelings ahead of everything else.
mrs bmw Posts: 6447
[quote="StupidSexyFlanders":1eai4hc5]You know you'd be criticised if you didn't too so you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't - don't pay any heed to your friend's odd reaction. You've done nothing wrong IMO.[/quote:1eai4hc5] 100% +1 agree I was called every name under the sun for taking my SD shopping for her flower girl dress without the the mothers permission when she was with us one afternoon. Didn't realise you needed permission to buy your SD a frock :duh: What you did was the right thing to do given that your family is a little bit different, even before the baby comes along your treating them all as equals. Nothing wrong with that.