Visiting Family with a New Baby - How Often ?

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OctoberWifetoBe Posts: 31
kala Posts: 1937
tbh my parents live only 3 miles out the road and i make an effort to see them once a week. hubbys parents live next door and when ds was born they were on top of us every day- first thing in the morning. we've kinda set ground rules ie we arrange a time with them when its suitable for them/us to call other wise they would be in every minute. i'm the type that likes my space, plus mil got on the wrong footing with me when babs was born by saying horrible nasty things to me so i've very cold towards her. i play along with things for the sake of hubby but she was so horrible and thoughtless in the way she said things to me, a vunerable woman who just had a baby by emergency c section. if i could i'd move a hundred miles away from her. she and hubbys dad(fil) are constantly watching us in every move we make. i never ask her to baby sit unless i'm really stuck. tbh- you don't need this hassel with a newborn, do what suites you at the end of the day. tis hard being a new mum- think of yourself as number one.
sunsparks Posts: 2196
All I would say is let them travel to you and let them worry about their other son. You should not even be thinking about this. I'm sure there will come a point at which you will feel confident travelling with the baby, but you won't be able to plan this in advance. It could take 2 weeks, it could take a year. Depends on your health/baby's health/how baby travels/whether you're b'feeding or not. If they start putting pressure on you, you need to have a clear conversation with your DH about it. I know from my DH that he gets annoyed if I start talking about problems too soon though (when they exist only in my head) so wait until the appropriate time. Then... explain how you feel. And if they kick up a fuss, tell them that since they are putting THEIR 15-year-old baby first, you think it's perfectly appropriate that you put your infant FIRST too.
neeov Posts: 4256
Let them come to you. My parents are 5 hrs away and I am not bringing baby that far. They can only go for 1 hr in the car seat anyhow. If their house is not suitable (water not good) then I'd stay for a longer while, bringing your own water is a major issue. If they are only 2 hours, could they do day trips? or just stay one night?
Baby on board Posts: 136
Just one question? Whats wrong with the water?
OctoberWifetoBe Posts: 31
They have there own well and there has been issues in past with pollution. I am probably just stressing over nothing, but we live so close to my parents they alway kind of feel left out. My extended family would be very close but their's isn't, including immediate family so they always kind of latch on to us and I feel it is a compeition between my family and theirs. Another thing I was told that a little baby should not be left in a car seat for over 2 hours, as it can be bad for them .... is this true ?
neeov Posts: 4256
a long time in the car seat can interfere with babies breathing, they don't get enough oxygen.
winnie d pooh Posts: 139
[quote="neeov":3840sppp]a long time in the car seat can interfere with babies breathing, they don't get enough oxygen.[/quote:3840sppp] I never heard this before but I have the perfect excuse now. We live over 2 hours from my family and over 3 from DHs. I got on well with DHs family before I was pregnant but his mother has got so clingy since then. And I know what you mean about the house not being suitable, all DHs family smoke and they've a very small house and they think moving to another room is fine, I'm usually quiet and let things go but if they smoke in the same house as my baby, no matter what size the house is, I'm taking the baby and going home.
problemchild Posts: 196
[quote="OctoberWifetoBe":3z0sipcn]Another thing I was told that a little baby should not be left in a car seat for over 2 hours, as it can be bad for them .... is this true ?[/quote:3z0sipcn] I asked about this at the antenatal classes recently. Its based on research in the US and premature babies. It has no foundation in full term babies. My inlaws are hours away too, so that's why I asked the question. I was told I'd be lucky if the child slept long enough in the car to cause any concern. The lady said use the stop, revive, survive motto and take the baby out of the chair for a stretch during the journey. As for visiting, I will only be visiting when I feel up to it. Any excuse to stay in a hotel/B&B when you go visit? Maybe use it as a "mini holiday" for you, therefore not offending anyone.