Wearing white to a wedding-poll

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Jomcodoodle Posts: 284
This debate has been raging all around me lately over wearing white to a wedding when you're not the bride. There are 4 women i know planning weddings now, one being my oh and another my sister. Only one of them says she doesn't mind someone wearing white to her wedding, although she still admits she would never do it to someone else because she'd hate to offend someone on their wedding day. Franc the wedding planner says he thought that it was no longer a no no, which surprised me as from the women i know its definitely a big no no. I'm interested to know if you think in general wearing white to a wedding is a no no or no problem, and if you would see no problem in someone wearing white to your wedding, or would you wear white to anothers wedding?
MrsAmy Posts: 983
My MIL has said she's going to wear ivory, and despite me asking her not to, is determined (despite not having a dress yet or even gone looking!) And I think it's the height of bad manners and poor taste. My argument with this is it's not about worrying the person will look bridal. Of course there's only going to be one bride and everyone will know who she is. It's just that with so many colours and so many shades of colours, I think that if someone in the bridal party wears a shade similar to the bride (unless it's intentional) it draws the eye and photos are all you have to remember the day by. If it's a regular guest, I'd still rather they didn't wear white/ivory but if it is accessoried right, it's just about passable. :-) It's also not a problem with light colours as I saw that mentioned before. I just think steer clear of anything remotely white/ivory/cream. That's hardly a big ask with all the gorgeous clothes, and gorgeous shops and gorgeous colours!
dreamscometrue2012 Posts: 1769
[quote="FutureMrsS":24xxnyu4]My MIL has said she's going to wear ivory, and despite me asking her not to, is determined (despite not having a dress yet or even gone looking!) And I think it's the height of bad manners and poor taste. My argument with this is it's not about worrying the person will look bridal. Of course there's only going to be one bride and everyone will know who she is. It's just that with so many colours and so many shades of colours, I think that if someone in the bridal party wears a shade similar to the bride (unless it's intentional) it draws the eye and photos are all you have to remember the day by. If it's a regular guest, I'd still rather they didn't wear white/ivory but if it is accessoried right, it's just about passable. :-) It's also not a problem with light colours as I saw that mentioned before. I just think steer clear of anything remotely white/ivory/cream. That's hardly a big ask with all the gorgeous clothes, and gorgeous shops and gorgeous colours![/quote:24xxnyu4] I agree with this...my cousins mother wore white to his wedding and it does look odd when she is in pictures with the bride... I don't think it will ever be okay to wear white/cream/Ivory to a wedding!!
Jomcodoodle Posts: 284
Personally i would just think its bad manners/poor taste. Its not like there isn't a ton on offer out there and to be fair you are a guest at the brides party. Surely nobody would dream of doing something that would insult their hosts at a party so why wear white/ish to a wedding? I was at a wedding a few years ago where a guest (who was a plus one) wore a cream strapless dress. She wore it with a pink cardigan and pink shoes but at the end of the day it was still a cream dress. During the night she took off the cardigan and in some pictures you wouldn't know who was the bride tbh. The bride was a bit miffed as to why she would do that, not because she personally would be a bride who would go nuts at someone dreaming of wearing white but moreso because its a common thing to avoid white/cream dress for a wedding and yet she did it anyway. So the bride was more miffed that the person did something socially unacceptable at her wedding, if that makes sense? But whenever the wedding photos come out she'll always see this girl in a cream strapless dress next to her in a white strapless dress for ever more.
Hollylol Posts: 1072
Its definetly a NO!! NO!!! in my opinion... [quote:57mija4w]I don't think it will ever be okay to wear white/cream/Ivory to a wedding!![/quote:57mija4w] :innocent:
MrsAmy Posts: 983
I think its rude and incredibly poor form! I can see where that bride was coming from Jo. I really think it shows such poor manners!
Ohnoshedidnt Posts: 273
I personally would never do it but i think if the dress wasnt bridal at all its okay. I would be quite annoyed if somebody turned up in a white/ivory satin floor lentgh gown :eek
Jomcodoodle Posts: 284
[quote="FutureMrsS":3nceuqew]I think its rude and incredibly poor form! I can see where that bride was coming from Jo. I really think it shows such poor manners![/quote:3nceuqew] I completely agree with the bride, it just shows a lack of manners. I actually think the bride was quite laid back and ignified about it. I can't understand though that franc who works with brides, and a lot of threads in places like here, seem to think its ok? I've seen a few threads where someone has come on with a photo of a whiteish dress and asked if it was ok to wear to a wedding and a lot of people say its fine to wear, and the advice is that if the bride doesn't like it then she's a bridezilla and should be ignored and anyone who thinks its odd are b!tchy busybodies etc. Paraphrasing but thats the gist i got. I don't even think its ok to wear white and accessorise, as my previous little tale shows, accessories might not stay there and everyone including the bride can see its clearly a white dress
MrsAmy Posts: 983
I am really dreading Fmil's outfit! :-( I'd bet everything that it'll be white/ivory lace with a bright jacket which will be whipped off five minutes in... ARGH! :-( But when I asked her not to wear white/ivory they told me it was incredibly insulting of me to ask, and who did I think I was trying to dictate guests outfits!
Coogee Posts: 78
Nope - never ok in my opinion. My mother wore a white and grey two-piece to my brother's wedding - his wife was in ivory. My sister killed me for saying she shouldn't go in white because she thinks that's an ancient rule that no longer applies. It didn't hugely detract from the bride but if I'd been shopping with my mother I wouldn't have let her buy it. I do think though in some cases that it's ignorance rather than deliberate malice. Some people genuinely aren't aware of the 'rule'. To be honest, when I first heard of the rule, it seemed a bit daft so I can understand how some people dismiss it - but I think anyone who gives it any thought and consideration would avoid white, cream and ivory.