Wedding Dilemma

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Cassiopeia Posts: 222
Hey all, Looking for a bit of advice... In a bit of a dilemma as to whether to have a wedding or not. My parents are very against weddings as they feel its a waste to spend so much money on one day. They've told me this and now I feel guilty about wanting a wedding, especially since the venue we've both fallen in love with is at the upper end of the market and costs a small fortune. I know we can afford it if we really want to, by getting out a small loan on top of some savings, but am finding it hard to justify spending the equivalent of a house deposit on a wedding day alone, especially since Ireland is in the grips of a recession. Maybe we should just elope? Is it really worth all the cost? Or maybe we should settle for a less spectacular venue, even if its not what we really want?
rayven12 Posts: 392
At the end of the day its YOUR day.....not theirs.....have the wedding YOU WANT :xox
shoppergal Posts: 1179
At the end of the day it is your day and not theirs. But I would think about what you really want and think do you want to spend big money on the day. You don't have to spend the equivalent of a house deposit or elope, there's an in between. It's very easy to get caught up in the whole thing of wanting all the nice things but you can do it without spending a fortune. Or you could do what we did and go abroad with everyone. Had a ball and didn't spend anything like we'd have spent here for the same thing.
bridesmaidzilla Posts: 1859
Honestly, the wedding is about what you and H2B want. If your parents don't agree with spending a large sum of money for one day, then that's their perogative (sp) but if you and H2B can afford it, go for it. I do agree with shoppergal, there is a middle ground when it comes to the budget, but when all is said and done, do you really want to have planned the day you both wanted, or a day that pleased your parents? I don't know if this makes any sense, but hopefully you can come to a decision that you're happy with :wv
MissSplendid Posts: 250
It's YOUR wedding!!... Not your parents or anybody else.... :wv :wv
SookieStackhouse Posts: 3135
My mother had the same reaction when I told her we'd set the date. "Do you really want to get married, you don't have to nowadays you know" TBH her reaction really upset me, as I was obviously v excited about planning a wedding. It sounds like you want to have a wedding, so don't let anyone take that away from you. There's lots of options out there if you can't justify spending a huge amount of money. We couldn't do that, and we've tailored our budget to whatever was our biggest priorities. And you'd be amazed at the savings you can make nowadays, especially with things like the hotel, we got loads of extras thrown in for free. It's just a matter of bargaining and not being afraid to ask! My mother is now almost more excited about the wedding then me, she got caught up in all the excitement as your parents will too. Best of luck anyway :wv
buddylove Posts: 3288
We had the same reaction. My parents were delighted but h2bs mothers first response was "oh are ye sure.. Its very expensive and ye will need savings!" I was disgusted at the time as it turned into a conversation about our savings (i told her we had loads.. Like hell we do!). But as the OP say.. Its your day, your life and have the day you want! Most ppl say you do get some back in presents so its not like if the wedding cost 20k that you are down all of that money but ppl are tighter for cash at the moment so we wouldnt be expecting major cash presents which is only right.
wifeynow Posts: 336
I'd say go with whatever u and h2b want to do it's ur day after all, no disrespect to ur parents but they planned and had the wedding that they wanted and nobody put pressure on them to do any differently. At the end of the day it's whatever u'd be happy with..would u always regret it if u eloped? and as for the money end of it; i'd say its ur money and i'm sure ye work hard for it so spend as little or as much of it on ur wedding as ye want and don't mind what anyone else says!
Cassiopeia Posts: 222
Thank you all so much for comments :) :) :) It's helped me clear my head about it all! Was so confused there for awhile as to what to do. I'm sure my Mum would love the excitement of planning a wedding when it got down to it! Think you're right girls that there's a middle ground between having no wedding and blowing the budget altogether. Really loved the Westin in Dublin but it's very very dear. Will look at other hotels that might not be so expensive. Thanks for all your help!!
Jawl Posts: 8881
Hey, coming late to this, but it's your day! I'm sure your parents had their day back in the day, and now it's your turn, so don't feel guilty. I've got a budget that we came up with, and am prioritising what's important to me on the day. IE Food and entertainment. So I'm having it somewhere that has a nice sense of occasion and and atmosphere about it, and also is renowned for good food but is not costing silly prices like some hotels are these days. Recession or not! Prioritise what you'd like, the Westin sounds lovely, but I'm sure you could get similar for less money. Been to a wedding a recently, and have had much better meals/service in places that don't charge the earth.