gillette wrote:Honestly, IMAEEJIT (which you aren't by the way; trusting maybe, eejit no!),
Thank you for that, gillette.
gillette wrote:I think it's just one of those horrible things you just have to chalk up to experience at this point. If the wedding (and there's no doubt in my mind that that's what it was) was 18months ago and you're now broken up, even if you contact his sister, her loyalty is to him and chances are she'll just tell you whatever he wants you to hear. So you'll probably just get more rubbish about blessings and you'll be none the wiser.
It's his SIL, not sister, who friended me on FB. But, I understand your point, and no doubt you are right. The thought has also occured to me that if I were to contact her and inquire about "the wedding" at all, in his mind, I have just proved *his point.*
gillette wrote:Unfortunately, I just think your ex has had too long having it his own way - he has the comfort of a girlfriend with whom he has holidays but then he can pursue other girls, including through dating sites, as he wants. I know you say there are good reasons why you never visited his home town and that there was no big plan to keep you away - all I'll say is that you come across as honest and straightforward. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he is.
Thanks, gillette. I think much of what you have to say is spot on.
gillette wrote:There are so many Wollies on the site who've had their hearts broken after years of being with a guy and then come back and say they've met the right person and that they'd never have thought that things could be so good. I know clichés are of very little comfort but really, things will get better.
Well, to be quite honest, they certainly couldn't be much worse!
Don't lower yourself to his level anymore - he lied to you, repeatedly over a long period of time. Sometimes you just don't get to find out the truth. It's awful but it happens. Don't contact his sister, delete his family's facebook profiles, stop trying to figure it out.
Thank you for that advice, gillette. I think you are absolutely right. As I posted earlier in the thread: "If he was dumb enough to walk and throw it all away, I need to be smart enough to just let him go."