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Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

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IMAEEJIT
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Posts: 20

Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby IMAEEJIT » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:29 am

fmh62 wrote:If I were him I'd have been asking you what were you doing browsing a dating website.


If you must know, fmh62, I was looking at the website because a mutual friend has a profile posted there -- of which my BF was also aware. The last thing I expected to pop up when I searched by home town to find our friend was a profile for my BF as well.

fmh62 wrote:I think you need to move on and get over this and put it down to experience *)


On that point, I think we can both agree...

IMAEEJIT
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Posts: 20

Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby IMAEEJIT » Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:16 am

pigeonwife wrote:I would say it's quite possible that your BF does not see your relationship as exclusive (whetever he may tell you) and may have had someone else on the go here at the time of the wedding even if she was not his official date for the event. Relationships / hook ups can be alot more casual here than in the US (I also have lived in North America so I do know about the different attitudes).


I appreciate your view, pigeonwife. Though I can't speak to the difference between Irish and American values, nor whether my BF was "typical" or not, your comments are good perspective for thought.

The ironic thing about all of this is, BF's marriage broke up because of infidelity -- not his, but hers. That's one of the reasons why from the start complete honesty was so important to both of us -- well, at least one of us, it appears... >:o(
Last edited by IMAEEJIT on Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

IMAEEJIT
New Wolly
 
Posts: 20

Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby IMAEEJIT » Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:41 am

gillette wrote:Honestly, IMAEEJIT (which you aren't by the way; trusting maybe, eejit no!),


Thank you for that, gillette.

gillette wrote:I think it's just one of those horrible things you just have to chalk up to experience at this point. If the wedding (and there's no doubt in my mind that that's what it was) was 18months ago and you're now broken up, even if you contact his sister, her loyalty is to him and chances are she'll just tell you whatever he wants you to hear. So you'll probably just get more rubbish about blessings and you'll be none the wiser.


It's his SIL, not sister, who friended me on FB. But, I understand your point, and no doubt you are right. The thought has also occured to me that if I were to contact her and inquire about "the wedding" at all, in his mind, I have just proved *his point.*


gillette wrote:Unfortunately, I just think your ex has had too long having it his own way - he has the comfort of a girlfriend with whom he has holidays but then he can pursue other girls, including through dating sites, as he wants. I know you say there are good reasons why you never visited his home town and that there was no big plan to keep you away - all I'll say is that you come across as honest and straightforward. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean he is.


Thanks, gillette. I think much of what you have to say is spot on.

gillette wrote:There are so many Wollies on the site who've had their hearts broken after years of being with a guy and then come back and say they've met the right person and that they'd never have thought that things could be so good. I know clichés are of very little comfort but really, things will get better.


Well, to be quite honest, they certainly couldn't be much worse! :action34

gillette wrote:Don't lower yourself to his level anymore - he lied to you, repeatedly over a long period of time. Sometimes you just don't get to find out the truth. It's awful but it happens. Don't contact his sister, delete his family's facebook profiles, stop trying to figure it out.
:action32


Thank you for that advice, gillette. I think you are absolutely right. As I posted earlier in the thread: "If he was dumb enough to walk and throw it all away, I need to be smart enough to just let him go." :thnk

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Moet for me
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Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby Moet for me » Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:48 am

I'm sorry I'm an eejit but this whole relationship reeks of lost in translation to me. It seems to me that the relationship meant one thing to you and something completely different to him.
I am, like many others who posted here, curious about where you met and if you spent any significant time actually living in the same place.
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Cinnabon
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Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby Cinnabon » Sun Feb 07, 2010 10:21 pm

Moet for me wrote:I am, like many others who posted here, curious about where you met and if you spent any significant time actually living in the same place.


Moet - there are certain questions the OP just doesn't answer and this is one of them but I agree with you in your synopsis of Lost in Translation.........
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IMAEEJIT
New Wolly
 
Posts: 20

Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby IMAEEJIT » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:29 am

Highly doubtful that anyone who weighed in on this thread is still on WOL, but I thought it might be interesting to any who are or those who stumbled upon this old thread since to learn "what was the rest of the story"...

Long story short, the "event" in question was a wedding -- affirmed shortly after this thread was posted via a copy of the official marriage certificate from the affair. :action28

BF was sent his very own framed copy of the marriage certificate since he seemed to be so confused about exactly what it was he and the rest of his family and all their friends had attended -- along with a note that made it clear, the jig was up, and not to ever darken my door, again.

BF was furious when he received his "gift." But, instead of apologizing/
admitting guilt, he just kept digging a bigger hole for himself, not knowing how much I knew, and counting on the fact I didn't, by spinning a fresh, new and inventive round of lies.

That was eight years ago. I haven't spoken to him since, though every couple of years he has tried reaching out, wanting to know why I won't talk to him. Seriously?!

Some people never learn. But then again, at least God loves a tryer... :yelrotflmaosmilie:

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IMAEEJIT
New Wolly
 
Posts: 20

Re: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby IMAEEJIT » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:32 am

IMAEEJIT wrote:Highly doubtful that anyone who weighed in on this thread is still on WOL, but I thought it might be interesting to any who are or those who stumbled upon this old thread since to learn "what was the rest of the story"...

Long story short, the "event" in question was a wedding -- affirmed shortly after this thread was posted via a copy of the official marriage certificate from the affair. :action28

BF was sent his very own framed copy of the marriage certificate since he seemed to be so confused about exactly what it was he and the rest of his family and all their friends had attended -- along with a note that made it clear, the jig was up, and not to ever darken my door, again.

BF was furious when he received his "gift." But, instead of apologizing/admitting guilt, he just kept digging a bigger hole for himself, not knowing how much I knew, and counting on the fact I didn't, by spinning a fresh, new and inventive round of lies.

That was eight years ago. I haven't spoken to him since, though every couple of years he has tried reaching out, wanting to know why I won't talk to him. Seriously?!

Some people never learn. But then again, at least God loves a tryer... :yelrotflmaosmilie:

IMAEEJIT
New Wolly
 
Posts: 20

UPDATE/SEE LAST POST: Wedding or Blessing? Please Help Me!

Postby IMAEEJIT » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:39 am

IMAEEJIT wrote:
IMAEEJIT wrote:Highly doubtful that anyone who weighed in on this thread is still on WOL, but I thought it might be interesting to any who are or those who stumbled upon this old thread since to learn "what was the rest of the story"...

Long story short, the "event" in question was a wedding -- affirmed shortly after this thread was posted via a copy of the official marriage certificate from the affair. :action28

BF was sent his very own framed copy of the marriage certificate since he seemed to be so confused about exactly what it was he and the rest of his family and all their friends had attended -- along with a note that made it clear, the jig was up, and not to ever darken my door, again.

BF was furious when he received his "gift." But, instead of apologizing/admitting guilt, he just kept digging a bigger hole for himself, not knowing how much I knew, and counting on the fact I didn't, by spinning a fresh, new and inventive round of lies.

That was eight years ago. I haven't spoken to him since, though every couple of years he has tried reaching out, wanting to know why I won't talk to him. Seriously?!

Some people never learn. But then again, at least God loves a tryer... :yelrotflmaosmilie:

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