Wedding singer-such a pain!!!!

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jellytotz Posts: 190
Hi girls- i have just found my password for this site again in the last week or 2 THANKS GOD! So I can finally post instead of just reading  I am having a ‘drama’ with my church singer!!! I booked her a year ago and told her I didn’t only want ‘holy’ songs (but I did want a few) as the priest ok-d it (he is actually a really cool priest) So me and H2b finialised the song list with about 4-5 holy songs and 4 ‘love songs’ including ‘Im Yours by Jason Miraz and I wanna grow old with you by Adam sandler –changing som of the words of course- we wanted them both really slow and in acoustic only…. And she comes back saying she will not sing I wanna grow old with you as ‘its very inappropriate for a church’ and she just couldn’t do it…….. I said that my priest have agreed with the songs and that it would be fine and she came back saying she basically REFUSES to do it!!! WTF? I am changing the words to make it more ‘appropriate’ and the priest has already agreed and its HIS house of god! And HIS ceremony”!!!!! I am appaulled …… I understand that if the songs is disrespectful to god or had bad language in it (it does have words about ‘putting u to bed when u’ve had too much to drink’) so I will be changing them…. I am not that holy…but I would never do anything disrespectful – I am just not like that- I still go to mass etc…..(look at me explaining myself- she has left me feeling like I need too……) Anyways I am looking for a new singer---but I am on such a strict budget- so I don’t know if I can get anyone now # And I know I might silly…but she has left me feeling crap about the songs I have chosen and I feel guilty for wanting that one lovely song….  sorry just need a rant
bobbyjoe Posts: 395
Perhaps she is just not comfortable singing these new songs - not making excuses for her but maybe she is only used to singing the more popular church songs and this might be out of her comfort zone. I could be wrong but i think most churches are quite strict on song choice so she may not have a lot of experience with this type of song.
littlewifey Posts: 408
ahh u dont be needing that [email protected] - if the preiest ok'd them then I cant see the problem! Where are you based tfairy? My church singer palyed all my song list for me and even learned a song which both of us really wanted. When our guests were leaving the church and waiting to greet us they all commented on the music in the church. They did some snow patrol, B.E. King - they were fab! let me kno where you are but I know they travelled for us and they werent overly expensive. PM if you need more details.
Idina Posts: 1289
As the other poster said I'd say she is just not comfortable singing that style of song. Had you heard her before you booked her? Is this very much outside her usual repertoire? How much are you paying and where are you-I may have some suggestions I can PM to you.
AnthonyHutton Posts: 2235
are you talking about the one from the Wedding Singer movie? tbh it isnt the sort of song that'll suit a lot of church singers who tend to have a more classical voice.. youd be as well to get your wedding band to play it after the meal i reckon. and just let the church singer take that one out of the list. compromising on that will save you hassle in the long run trying to find a new singer, who may well have the same stance on an acoustic guitar ballad too remember. you said you changed the words, did you change the line about arthritis? she might know someone with arthritis or have it herself.. that could have got her back up.
GreenerPastures Posts: 7284
Why did you book her in the first place? I assume you felt she has a great voice and really wanted her for your service? If so I wouldn't let this be a deal breaker. As Anthony said, you can have it sung/played at the reception maybe. The song wouldn't be my cup of tea anyway and I really don't think it's worth losing a singer you felt was good enough to sing for your wedding in the first place. Also, as another poster said, these singers have a very specific singing style which wouldn't suit all songs. Let her do what she is best at, imo.
AnthonyHutton Posts: 2235
listened to the song there.. yknow i cant hear it sounding well in a church (presuming its a church) unless you have a string section with their own arrangement for it that takes a lot to set up, more than most musicians are prepaired to do for a wedding by arrangement, check this out: its very good
PrettyWoman Posts: 1233
I agree that she just might not be comfortable singing it. I'm sure you will want it done well and maybe she doesn't think she can do it justice. Tbh I also don't think it is right for a church even with words changed. I'm sure your band could give it more justice can you compromise on not including the song? It is only one song after all. If you are happy with her doing the other songs then I wouldnt cancel her... Too much stress
jellytotz Posts: 190
Hi ya, thanks for your comments. Her voice is not classical so it would be within her range....and she does Bryan adams, celine dion, Jason Miraz, etc ......personallly i don't think she wants to learn something new.... IMO if she is actually sensitive about mentioned 'artrithis' then she needs to catch a grip- i have people in my very close family with that and most people do... I have actually heard it played at 2 weddings very slow and alot of acoustic instrumental in it and it sounds very well if played right.......and its the last song, so its chirpy and it means alot to me and H2b---we have always wanted this song (in the church) so why should i cut it out for someone who i am paying to sing and who doesnt appreciate how much it means and how personal it is....the priest himself said he has never heard of such comments before- and he has heard snowpatrol and other stuff played in the church.....(in a tasteful, slow, instrucmental way of course) It would be GREAT if anyone could send me details of any singers they know i don't think i will go ahead with her- she was rude in her emails and was reluctant from the beginning....about learning something for OUR wedding...she's down money, not me i suppose...and lets hope she doesnt rely on word of mouth for business... Thanks for your help xxx
barbaraann Posts: 1500
Girls, can I just add a wee bit to this conversation if you don't mind :-8 I have been asked to learn lots of pieces for various couples over the years and on one or two occasions I have had to say 'No sorry, can't do'. Suffice to say myself and Shania don't really go well together. Now, this is different to 'won't do'. I don't know what the main style of your singer is, they could be more contemporary than me, but to ask any singer to compromise their sound for one song is a big ask. There are not that many singers who would be able to pull off that particular piece - it really is more suited to the evening band set up. You booked your singer originally because of her sound, repertoire etc. and choosing your musician is an important decision. Some singers will sing anything, they're not really bothered, it's a gig. Others though take the job more seriously and out of respect to the couple are honest enough to state their limitations. [quote:2i3h9clf]not me i suppose...and lets hope she doesn't rely on word of mouth for business...[/quote:2i3h9clf] This statement worries me, the singer had a reputation up to the point of you choosing your pieces, but because of one song are you going to take it away from her ? Obviously, we are not privy to both sides of the conversation, so I can only assess the situation from the OP. If though your musician has been rude and unprofessional in her dealings with you (the song issue aside) well then yes, I too would reconsider. I hope you don't mind this post :wv