Well it baffled me!

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Jawl Posts: 8881
We received a text message to go to a dinner party this week. We accepted, it's a small gathering, 6 people at the most. This text came after it "We will be having wine with dinner, so if you want to also drink wine, please bring your own" :eek :eek Don't get me wrong, but I would always bring a bottle of wine anyway, or something for the host. Usually wine though. I guess it baffles me, because I've never invited anybody to my house for dinner (or anything else for that matter!) and not provided the wine/beer. I know I'll be probably battered on this thread and called greedy for expecting wine to be provided. But I think there's a difference between congregating in different houses every week to meet with friends and drinking and inviting somebody for dinner. To me inviting somebody for dinner means you are extending your hospitality. That text left a weird taste in my mouth :o0
zoesmama Posts: 2774
I must say I have never experienced this. There are a group of us - 4 couples and we regularly have each other over. Not everyone can come all the time. But if it's our turn we provide the wine and obviously we will get gifts of wine / beer too and if we are going to someone's else's house we bring always wine and sometimes beer if DH does not feel like wine that night. However what we bring is rarely opened. Are you v good friends with these people ? In our scenario we are all v good friend who have all known each other years and if I got a text like that from anyone in our group I would be stunned.
highbeam Posts: 2578
So if you didnt bring any wine, they would sit there and drink their wine and not give you any? :yelrotflmaosmilie: Its lovely to be invited over to someones house for dinner and we would also bring one or two bottles of wine with us. Have been to plenty of BYOB parties but have never gotten it on a dinner invite!
teapotty Posts: 2085
[quote="Jawl":3u8ey5a0]But I think there's a difference between congregating in different houses every week to meet with friends and drinking and inviting somebody for dinner. To me inviting somebody for dinner means you are extending your hospitality. That text left a weird taste in my mouth :o0[/quote:3u8ey5a0] I'd be with you on this.
GreenerPastures Posts: 7284
I'd be surprised they stipulated that in a text. Like you say, I'd [b:2ndduvsm]never[/b:2ndduvsm] turn up empty handed anyway but think it's kind of weird and a bit cheeky to specify to bring your own. BUT maybe they have been stung by another guest who will be there. Maybe they were just making a point to this to a guest who has proven stingy in the past but didn't want to just text them (appear to single them out)? Or maybe they are short on funds and if guests want the wine to flow they would need to bring a bottle. I know when we are feeling a pinch financially but still want to have guests over we'd fret that we wouldn't have enough. The weight of expectation can be a killer.
zoesmama Posts: 2774
[quote="shampers":1gppt63r] Its lovely to be invited over to someones house for dinner and we would also bring one or two bottles of wine with us. Have been to plenty of BYOB parties but have never gotten it on a dinner invite![/quote:1gppt63r] You see I too would be distinguishing between parties in general and a dinner party.
teapotty Posts: 2085
[quote="shampers":do2tt1cv] Have been to plenty of BYOB parties but have never gotten it on a dinner invite![/quote:do2tt1cv] Yeah like it doesn't seem rude when it's purely a party with drinks but when it comes to dinner it seems very crass to tell people to bring their own wine. What's the point of being half hospitable? Might as well tell them to bring their own dinner too :yelrotflmaosmilie:
hopeful1973 Posts: 4385
Jawl, might your friends be having a hard time money wise? They may want to try and keep the cost down, we all know how dinner parties can run away with us! I have to say though, it's a very strange text, if you're inviting someone to dinner in your house, you provide the drinks, end of story. Of course you'd bring a bottle yourself, but it's more to add to whatever is already being provided! I'd also be interested to know if you know these people really well - it's obviously the first time they've ever sent such a text? It does sound very funny, sounds like "WE will be drinking so if YOU want to drink, bring your own or you're not getting any of ours"!! :o0 Hx
Jawl Posts: 8881
No, they haven't been stung, they're just stingy! :o0 In fact if anything, they would be the sting-ers! :o0 I've been to a BYOB party before and the woman of the couple drank most of the vodka I brought with me after asking me for one. She didn't bring any with her as she didn't feel like drinking that night, but changed her mind on arrival :o0 Yes, if we did not bring wine, we would probably get a glass of water or cup of tea, seriously :o0 I don't really want to go anyway. Mr. Jawl can't drive, so if we take the car I'm the designated driver. They live the bones of 30 euros away in a cab, and a taxi there and back wouldn't leave a lot of change out of 60 euros. They came to us a good while ago and were sharing the cab home with another couple and still moaned about it. I drove down and picked them up so they'd only have one taxi fare, but I know they wouldn't reciprocate. And just to point out, they're not in any financial trouble, they're just pure stinge-bags. :innocent:
Kaniela Posts: 458
Have gotten this for parties.. where it would cost a fortune on the hosts to make sure there was plenty of drink for everyone. But never with a dinner invite.. Would always bring a bottle with me anyway, as a gesture. Would never do this when we were extending an invite for dinner. Don't see the point in inviting people over for dinner and then telling them there is conditions attached to it..