what is the one thing

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sparklybabe Posts: 3353
what is the one thing you want most from your midwife on the day of birth? what about the days afterwards? this is from a conversation i had with a friend who is also a midwife today!
fifibelle Posts: 4447
Great thread to start Sparkly!!! FOR THE BIRTH: I want a midwife who loves their job to take care of me - there are sooooo many midwives in HS who clearly do not enjoy their job and treat expectant mothers like dirt. I want a midwife who will treat me with the respect I deserve being a first time mom rather than thinking "they know best". I want a midwife who will respect my wishes for the birth, i.e. I would like to try Hypnobirthing and if it doesnt work for me fair enough, but I want to be able to at least give it a go. I want the midwife to make sure I get skin-to-skin contact asap after birth and who will assist & guide me with BF'ing. IN THE DAYS AFTER THE BIRTH: I want to be cared for by midwives who will give me the attention and help I will need with being a first time mom and a first time BF'er. Not asking for much am I? :o0 :o0 :o0
randomusername Posts: 2134
During the birth just to have someone to speak to me instead of shout and reassure both dh and I that everything is ok. Keep the atmosphere calm rather than chaotic and upsetting. After the birth, some help with breastfeeding and a reassuring comment that I'm not messing up already. That's pretty much it x
mammybear + baby bear Posts: 151
Sparlky i must say the midwife i had was fab, would love next time please god to be treated the very same. She was so caring, explained everything that was happening to both dh and myself, was calm and relaxed even when things went pearshaped, the care we got from the minute i went to delivery room was superb, i think all in all we were treated like people and not just a number :lvs ON the postnatal ward things were different, got support as in with pain meds but after that it was really sink or swim with baby, i know staffing levels are a huge issue so in an ideal world more help with bubs afterwards would be great. Great thread hun :wv
Pinkly Posts: 1414
A midwife who is confident, understanding, reassuring and supportive and can have a laugh with you to keep you calm & remind you that this is a happy occasion rather than making it all sound very clinical & scary. At times during the pushing stage of labour my midwife sighed and looked frustrated once. I know it was because my DS was not budging after all my pushing and she wanted to call a doctor down to get his opinion but the the Sister wouldn't allow it. It did make me feel like I wasn't capable of doing this or that I was doing something wrong. So a midwife who explains everything to me would be what I'll want and ask for next time. Also someone with a bit of positivity. Also when my DS was born everything seemed a bit rushed, skin to skin contact only lasted a minute or two and then he was weighed etc. On the ward I found all the midwifes very friendly & helpful but they just dont have enough hours in the day to help everyone, one midwife that was assigned to me the morning after I had DS looked like she couldn't be bothered. I asked her if DS had enough blankets on and she just halfed grined and said 'he's fine'. I understand everyone has 'bad days' but after giving birth especially for the 1st time you want some reassurance and some comfort from the people that are there to help you.
sparklybabe Posts: 3353
actually whats jumping out from these posts is ye want good communication and reassurance! dont think thats too much to ask for myself........ agree with the postnatal wards v understaffed and is a case sometimes of sink or swim............ keep the wishes coming girls...............
scobette Posts: 1010
I hope my midwife will listen to me and DH. I really would like someone to explain to me what they are doing and tell me the results of their fiindings. I was to be encouraged and just be spoken to like have a brain and not fobbed off (not much hey!) Afterwards I would love help with BF and be told I am doing it right and just have a bit of emotional supportas well as medical :wv
tilsun Posts: 4506
Was just thinking this morning about the midwife we had during labour. She was an angel. I say 'we' had because my DH was way more nervous of the process than me and she was just as kind and reassuring to him as me - that was very important. She made every aspect of her job seem like a joy - how does someone do that when emptying a catheter :eek She was so gentle and calm and gave us advice but also lots of space to do our own thing. She pushed me to work hard, e.g. I didn't want epidural and she really pushed me to keep going without it. but then when I really wanted it and felt like a bit of a wuss for needing it she was full of praise for how far I'd gotten without. We got the bad news that DD had down syndrome after the birth and I know that although our midwife's long shift was over and another had been assigned to us - she stayed on with us. Then she visited me every day in the ward to admire DD. I am in tears thinking of her kindness :lvs I found most of the midwives on the ward great too. Very kind and caring
Greece Posts: 1800
[quote="tilsun":36cfwonn] She pushed me to work hard, e.g. I didn't want epidural and she really pushed me to keep going without it. but then when I really wanted it and felt like a bit of a wuss for needing it she was full of praise for how far I'd gotten without.[/quote:36cfwonn] Exactly waht id like from my midwife, encouragement and positive help...but If I change my mind and get the epi then she wont mind - so far any experience Ive had with midwifes though has been positive so Im not worried, they are all so lovely :o)ll
sinion Posts: 6050
To treat ME, the person, and not just see me as another girl in labour to get through. I had a few different ones during labour, the girl I had for the pushing stage was just superb. Felt like I had my friend in there with me, she was so calm and had us laughing and joking throughout (when I wasn't in agony!). She really seemed to love her job and was very focused on me and how I was doing, I really felt so at ease and comfortable with her. The midwife I had before her I wasn't happy with, I had a really difficult time as DS's heartrate was dropping with each contraction and they had trouble keeping the trace on it. They kept me held down on the bed in a seated position which was just unbelievable agony and, after saying all along that I never wanted it, she urged me to get the epi when all I wanted to do was move around and get on all fours, but she wouldn't let me move. After two failed epis I was still in that same seated position and still in utter agony, and even after they got the trace onto his head which freed me up (can't remember what it's called!) she still kept me on the bed. I was delirious with the agony and had just given in and did what I was told until I thankfully got the next midwife.