what is the tradition of flowers given to mothers on the day

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bijou Posts: 1154
Can anyone explain exactly what the meanig for giving flowers to the mothers and sometimes grandmothers is? My mother is dead and don't really want to single out his mother......I'd prefere not to give any at all.......
stephyb Posts: 1439
i don't like this tradition, it's seems useless to me. The thing is my mum has hinted that she wants the flowers but has also said '' don't bother getting fmil (h2bs mum) any cause she hasn't done anything to help'' but there's no way i'm getting 1 and not the other. So might just suck it up and get a bunch for both. My mum has helped immensley in our wedding planning and i'll be getting her a wee gift of her own anyway.
Insert-Name-Here Posts: 762
My mother is dead too so I was wondering what to do about h2b’s. Like you I don’t really want to single out his mother as normally both the bride and groom would give the flowers at the same time to the mothers. I was going to get his mother a nice present but not sure whether to give it at the time of the normal flower giving or some other time.
kitten_77 Posts: 826
i find this tradition tacky and unnecessary and it seems to me that a lot of people give flowers to the mums "because its the done thing" which makes it both routine and unimaginative IMO. My folks are helping out financially with the wedding and my mum is helping lots with flowers and the cake so i'll definitly get something to say thanks, but not flowers. H2B hates the whole idea of getting something just becasue its the done thing. i would rather give them something meaningful and lasting, was thinking a silver framed photo of the wedding day.
kitten_77 Posts: 826
btw girls to those of your whose mums have passed away (my sympathies) just say a little word of thanks if necessary but dont worry about the etiquette of giving a gift to your MIL's unless you want to. if your FMIL has been really good in helping out or if you are particularly close then you can always give a gift in private. otherwise a word of thanks for accepting you into the family is enough, in my humble opinion anyway....
stephyb Posts: 1439
y'know i think your right i might not to teh flowers, or get my mum a bunch after the wedding his mum will be going back to england the day after anyway so she'd hardly be able to take them with her. will just get mum a nice wee gift like i was going to anyway.
Insert-Name-Here Posts: 762
Thanks girls, makes me feel a whole lot better about not conforming per say
kitten_77 Posts: 826
its an absolute joke that these things are expected and i feel that when its expected its not even meaningful in the way they are supposed to be if you get me..... mums probably dont even feel like they are being properly thanked, they are just getting flowers cause its the done thing. i was at a wedding recently and one of the mums was checking out of the hotel the next day at the same time as me and the flowers seemed to be hassle ..... they will have to be stored in the hotel overnight, then transported home, they will probably be half dead/wilted by then. 60-80 euros much better spend on something else!
bijou Posts: 1154
Thanks for the input girls....I feel better now. My wedding will not be a traditional reception.....it's just dinner in a resatuarant, and any speach will probably be limited to us thanking everyone for coming..... but I didn't want to look mean in not giving flowers to FMIL, but she's not involved with the wedding planning or anything......... I'm not doing it now, thanks girls, really appreciate it!
kitten_77 Posts: 826
your wedding sounds fab! i was at a wedding last year that was very informal, no speeches, none of the traditionalist stuff and it was a really lovely day and felt very genuine if that make any sense.