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Dezy26ni Posts: 321
what to do I want to make my own speech - basically because i work in PR and write several speeches a month - i feel i should be able to write and deliver my own speech. thing is i want to acknowledge a cousin of mine who will be two years dead a few days after my wedding. Carla my cousin took her own life whilst at uni in UCD. Her mum and dad are my godparents and as you can imagine November is bad time of year for them. I dont want to ruin their day or make them feel sad by mentioning carla. I would love to toast a guinness to her (her fav drink) and say something like " to my beautiful and vibrant wee cousin - carla you are never far from my thoughts and I miss you today" Should i not do this Denise
chennelly Posts: 159
I think it would be a lovely thing to do dezy and the way you're thinking about doing sounds tasteful. I would however prob have a word with your aunt/uncle beforehand though, so at least they're mentally prepard and don't get a shock when they hear her name mentioned. Good luck!
chatter2cat Posts: 996
I think that's lovely. But I would warn/ask your godparents so they know to expect it. HTH
Dezy26ni Posts: 321
yea girls never thought of that - i will ask they will prob say no - as they are still very sore about it - as you can imagine. i just didnt want to have it not acknowledged we are a very small family 3 children in our house and 3 children to my godparents - she would of featured on the day had she been alive. thank i will say Denise
Milly83 Posts: 3620
I would definately say it. My H2B's sister died about 7 years ago and he is going to mention her. I think that if you notice that someone should be at your wedding and they are not, it's only right to mention them in the speeches. Especially when they were so young when they died.
mrs-ck-one Posts: 254
Thats such alovely idea Denise, i'm doing something at mine for my cousin who died almost 2 years ago, he was my best friend but i wouldn't be able to say a speech including him, i'd end up crying. so instead i've written a poem that i'm getting put on a candle with a pic of the 2 of us from when we were about 3, his mam is ok with it so we're happy. I hope your able to do it, its such a lovely way to honour her memory without being morbid. Good luck *)
Gonetopasturesgreener Posts: 3556
It really depends on her parents and how they feel. But to me it sounds like such a lovely thing to do. The thing is you have to be so careful and respect her parent's wishes, even if you think it's unfair. DH's Mum died almost 8yrs ago. I wanted to have a memorial candle at the wedding and a prayer dedicated to her...and a few words said about her at the reception. FIL said NO WAY...we had nothing to acknowledge her, which I thought was so heart-breaking, but we couldn't step on his toes. I wanted my boquet to go on her grave but he wouldn't even have that...people can react to things in different ways I guess. It was very sad to be honest.
NowGone Posts: 8042
I'd be fairly careful - perhaps ask your parents what they think. Tbh, you run the risk of upsetting them, 2 years is quite a short time. Perhaps a toast to absent friends might suffice - they'll know what you mean. I'm unsure if a wedding is the appropriate place to acknowledge someone if it's likely to upset, iykwim. Sad stuff....
Nicirl Posts: 269
I think it would be a lovely thing to do, Yes it would be upsetting but i dont think upsetting in a bad way, i think they would be very proud if you mentioned her, and very happy that she was remembered on your special day
xx fairy mommy xx Posts: 1833
[quote="NoZilla":1ioloy1z]I'd be fairly careful - perhaps ask your parents what they think. Tbh, you run the risk of upsetting them, 2 years is quite a short time. Perhaps a toast to absent friends might suffice - they'll know what you mean. I'm unsure if a wedding is the appropriate place to acknowledge someone if it's likely to upset, iykwim. Sad stuff....[/quote:1ioloy1z] I kinda agree - perhaps you could raise a toast, with a pint of guiness, to absent friends! it'd be your own private touch.