what would you do?

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mjm Posts: 393
Girls I need your advice on this one. I will be 12 weeks on 23rd of December and hubbie wants to tell everyone over Christmas partly because he cant wait any longer (and neither can I) but also because he thinks everyone will know when I am so tired and not drinking over the holidays and boobs and tummy are getting visible to the world. I have already used all the not drinking excuses, antibiotics, detoxing, hungover from night before, the lot. Now we had a scan at 9 +4 cause I had a little scare and all was well then but I wont have my dating scan till 2nd January and I cant get private one now before Christmas. Question is, is it risky to tell everyone without the second scan, there have been a couple of missed miscarriages over on the July 2008 thread that have me very nervous. what would you do?? thanks, mjm
Elliecat Posts: 2725
Hi mjm, I think the way to think about this is that a) the chances are that everything will be perfectly ok at your dating scan anyway (I think its pretty unlikely that you could have a missed miscariage at this stage - you'd have some bleeding or cramps to let you know something was wrong) b) that even if God forbid something did go wrong, its highly likely you'd tell your close friends and family anyway because you'd want their support and c) might it be better (and less stressful) to be straight with everyone when they ask rather than having to fob people off with lies and cover ups? Your close family and friends will more than likely guess anyway (if they haven't already) and you'll be tortured with all the digs and comments. In saying all of the above, we didn't tell anyone till we had our scan either and that didn't happen till 15 weeks, so I understand your hesitation in letting the word out. Just imagine the excitement though, telling everyone over Christmas, it would really make it special!!
sinion Posts: 6050
personally I told my immediate family at the weekend even though we're very early, as I wanted their support. So glad I did, it was a very very special occasion and having my Mum on my side now is just so precious, she knows exactly what I'm going through and is helping me along the way :lvs I think no matter what happens you'll want you family's support and just think what a wonderful Christmas present for them all!
Thumbelina Posts: 2340
If you're really worried, just tell your immediate families. Though it's highly unlikely something will go wrong at this stage, especially as all was fine at your scan. And, God forbid, if something does go wrong, you will need your family's support so they're better off knowing. Your families will be delighted for you....what a great Christmas present for them!!
Sleep Monster Posts: 2829
I agree with the others. I also had a few scares early on and I wouldn't be without the support of my family and friends during that time. And God forbid if something had gone very wrong, I would have wanted them to know. I'm sure everything will work out just fine. A doctor of ours said to us, tell the people close to you, who you would also tell if soemthing had gone wrong. I didn't think it sounded morbid and I hope it doesn't for you, but I thought it was a good way to measure who you should and shouldn't tell. For example, you wouldn't want to tell work colleagues perhaps. Best of luck with it and hope you have a lovely Christmas. :xxx
mjm Posts: 393
thanks guys, its just that I am quite a private person and if something happened I would much rather deal with it ourselves rather than all our friends knowing, our mothers know and that would be all the support I would want if anything went wrong. I guess I am just wondering when are you safe to tell but I suppose no one can really answer that. I am going to GP on thursday and if he could hear heartbeat then that would answer all my concerns but its probably too soon for that yet. I'll just have to keep making up the excuses over Christmas and sure if they all suspect there's not much I can do about it. mjm
fire fly Posts: 1241
Hi! I know how you feel. With my 3 boys I didn't tell anyone not even my mother till I was 16 weeks. I think christmas would be so special though and everyone would make such a fuss! it would be lovely but a personal decision.
mumof2 Posts: 3864
Personal decision but I would tell - but then I told my family at 7 weeks so I was never going to wait the 12 weeks
decmum Posts: 239
Heartbeat should be audible :xox Tell them the reaction is fab :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll
Sleep Monster Posts: 2829
Not so sure you'll hear heartbeat. I asked to get this in the first trimester but they said it was far too soon. You never know though. Good luck with what ever you decide. :wv