I am just wondering when people tell their mother/immediate family about pregnancy. Do you tell them after a few weeks or do you wait until the 14 week mark.
I am close to my mother and sis, but don't want to tell them too early in case anything goes wrong. Also, I feel my mother may not be sympathetic if anything went wrong. She was not very sympathetic when I broke up with my ex fiance 4 yrs ago. I wouldn't mind but I was 31 at the time, so it wasn't like a schoolgirl crush.
Also DH doesn't want to tell anyone until the 14 wk mark and I would like to respect his wishes. I think it unfair my family knowing and his not knowing.
We told parents at about 8 weeks and close friends between then and 10/11 weeks. They way we thought about it was these were the people that we would tell anyway if god forbid something went wrong.
I would not tell my father til I was a good few months gone. If anything happened he could think that I am not healthy, or that I am too old concieving a child. (I am 35 and this is my first). He wouldn't have been told if other people e.g. cousins etc had problems, so he prob thinks everything should go perfectly.
If I tell my mother & sister I know they will keep it quiet until I am ready to tell him.
i told my parents straight away! if i had of kept it quiet i would have been disowned
If you would like someone to confide in and trust your sister and Mam to keep it confidential, I would tell them.
We are hoping to keep it to ourselves for another few weeks. But last time I told my Mam and sister early as had complications and needed someone to talk to. It is a relief telling someone!!
I told my mam and sis at 6 wks and the rest at 10
My mother only needs to take a look at me and she know's I'm pregnant, she's got it right 6 times before I've told her...usually because my head is down a toilet or looks like it should be! We waited as long as possible before telling FMIL as she was not impressed sos much so she refused to attend our wedding if I was to walk up the aisle pregnant so we cancelled it until May 09
I personally couldn't hold it in even if my mum didn't know because if something went wrong (which it did 4 times) I need her support. DP was amazing but my mum, and my sister were amazing, it also felt my little angels had some recognition which I needed.
In my other pregnancies having their support during the early weeks when I was drained of all energy and really sick when DP was at work.
I don't know what I'd have done without my mum in the first few weeks. But I couldn't tell her that her first grandchild was on the way and expect her to keep it a secret from my dad...or my little brother who still lives at home...who had to tell his girlfriend cos they tell each other everything. And DH was dying to tell his sister and his dad.. and that meant telling his mum as well, and since I had told my family it only seemed fair that he could tell his.
I think we would both have been lost without the support of my mum and his sister. We waited until the 12 week scan to tell anyone else.
I don't think you should worry too much about the correct time to tell your mum because that will vary. But if there is someone in your life that will be there for you in the event of something going wrong, and who can give you a bit of sympathy and encouragement too, then that is the person to tell early on.
Just make sure that your mum hears the news from you when the time comes and not from someone else first!
I'm telling my mum at 11 weeks, which may sound a little odd, but she lives in the UK and is coming here for her birthday so I'm saving it as a surprise... plus, it's the first grandchild in my family so i don't want to do it over the phone... Then we're off to tell my partners family a day later so there's no favourtism!!
I'm told two very close friends in work and they've been great when I've been sick in the work toilets or needed backup for why I'm not drinking....
I'm telling everyone else at 12 weeks and then fingers crossed, it'll all be fairly plain sailing....
We both told our parents pretty much straight away. As soon as all had been confirmed by the doctor we told them. Others weren't told till I had had a scan and all was well so at about 10 weeks nearly everyone knew.