When do |I know that he's ready?

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Sofia Posts: 52
Just a quick question I am married a year and am seriously broody met with a brick wall from hubby. I know that he does want kids but down the line. I do not want to pressure him but when will it be discussed and how do I bring it up? At the moment he feels that kids would be the worst thing ever and I feel he may have become even more anti-kids which I never thought he was. Any advice greatly appreciated.............
MrsMe Posts: 138
Hi, don't have any real advice, but feel for you. Do you think it could be financially related ie he doesn't want to have children until you're more secure? Have to be honest, really want children after I'm married but I'm a bit worried about the financial implications. Could that be the issue I wonder? Are you getting on really well since you got married? Maybe he is really enjoying the whole honeymoon period and is reluctant to give that up along with his social life. Do many of your friends have children yet? Lots of ours do and I know that it deffo making us want them more. You tend to want to the same things as your immediate circle....If your friends don't have children then maybe he can't see how they'll fit into your life right now. Finally, does he have any plans for college or travelling that are unrealised and that he feels he has to go ahead with before you start a family? Do you mind asking me how old you are? If you're in your mid twenties he may think there's no problem in delaying this. As I said, this isn't advice, they're just a couple of questions that you might ask yourself in understanding why he's so reluctant at the moment. To say he thinks it's the worst thing that could happen....that's more like what college students say, that's what made me reply to this post. Best of luck.
bibikay Posts: 644
Well, rather than sitting there guessing what his reasons are, or getting suggestions from people who don't even know him as to what his reasons for not wanting kids yet may or may not be ... why not just ask the man?? It's hardly pressurising him just to raise the issue for discussion!
Mrs Peg Posts: 1778
Hi Sofia, I definitely think you should sit him down and have a chat about it. Not that you want to put pressure on him but you both need to know each others point of view on this and make a plan for the future. Maybe when everything is out in the open and all the cards on the table, you'll both have a better understanding of each others viewpoint. It's obviously a major decision to make and one that you'll need to come to together. Maybe you can allay some of his fears, when you've had a chance to find out what they are! Best of luck with it all, keep us posted :)