When is the "right time" to have a baby?

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jessieF Posts: 175
Hi Alll Looking for some advise! I always thought i'd have all my kids young...but now i'm 30 and still not preggers. Would like to get pregnant over the next year but just got a really new job and don't want miss loads of time.... any advice from some mums??? J
misssaucie Posts: 258
Hi jessief, thought I'd be the same, kids before I'm 30 blablabla! But how and ever we are getting married next year and I'll be 33 1/2 when the big day arrives :eek obviously I don't want to be pregnant before the Wedding (our puppy is enough for me at the moment) but I would like 2+ babies and am thinking of coming off the pill a few weeks before the Wedding. I've heard people go on about having a year to yourselves after you get married but we'll be together over 6 yrs when we marry so it's not as though it was a whirlwind romance. I feel a bit under pressure to be honest because I don't really want to bang out kid after kid (naively assuming here that I'm as fertile as a rabbit!) but I feel I'm kinda running out of time in my 30s! Any "older mommy's" out there who married "older" as seemingly I am!!! >:o) according to "friends" !!!!!
Skippy Posts: 1834
The only advice I have is to not wait until you are 100% ready coz you never will be! There will always be a reason to wait, coz if you really sat down and thought out what you were about to do, you wouldn't do it at all!
milis Posts: 7998
[quote="Skippy":30ihgmm1]The only advice I have is to not wait until you are 100% ready coz you never will be! There will always be a reason to wait, coz if you really sat down and thought out what you were about to do, you wouldn't do it at all![/quote:30ihgmm1] Exactly. I would also say don't expect it to happen straight away either. It took me 6 months to get pregnant, and a quick look at the ttc forum will show you that that is not by any means a long time!
cressa Posts: 318
I'm early 30's and it took me almost 12 months to get pregnant after we got married so you need to bear in mind that you could be lucky and get preg the first month of trying, but that is not the norm for most people good luck!
suitcase of hopes and dreams Posts: 2932
Totally agree with the gals, dont think there's ever a right time. I very naively thought we'd go off on honeymoon and come back PG, little did i know what lay ahead, 16 months TTC and 1 IVF later we hit the jackpot :lvs :lvs :lvs :lvs Do what feels right for you hun is my best advice, go with your heart and please god you will be blessed very soon *)
red_rubies Posts: 2424
When we were discussing children, I jumped from wanting to start & then changing my mind & then back again. I started to drive DH mad!! He didn't mind one way or the otherr but I was so afraid to make that decision. I was the same with you regarding work. I'm a teacher on a year-year contract & I worried myself so much that if I got pregnant, my contract wouldn't be renewed. We decided to go ahead anyway & I thought sure it will take me a few months to get pregnant anyway & maybe I'd receive my new contract befor I'd to tell anyone but it happened straight away for us. Long story short, my principal was delighted for us & I did secure my contract for next year. I also wasn't in my job that long & wasn't sure I wanted to take a break too soon but now I'm delighted. Sitting here waiting soooooo impatiently for my little baba to arrive! :lvs Just to add, I never 100% decided it was the right time, we just decided to let nature take it's course, which it did!
Gingham Posts: 3014
I was the exact same as red rubies, constantly changing my mind...just wasn't sure what i wanted.... my best friend got pregnant then unexpectedly and it really gave me the kick to go for it... You will never be 100% ready....new job, redundancy, holiday, money...there will always be an excuse.....we ended up just saying we will go for it and see what happens...now that baby is just around the corner, it feels right and we feel as ready as we will ever be... can't wait now!
Bridget Posts: 539
I got married at 33.5 (was with DH since I was 31, so I couldn't really have got married any sooner). It took us 2 yrs to concieve a baby. Part of it was stress on my part, because I knew I was not 'young' starting out, and I had taken too much notice of articles in mags stating that fertility declines at 35. Finally went to a herbalist, got toxins cleaned out of my body etc, and became pregnant when I was nearly 36. There never is a good time to have a baby. I believe you should start trying when you are 70% sure of wanting a baby. Also think how you would feel if you only started trying at 39 or 40 and if nothing happened. Best wishes
Mumslove Posts: 528
I suppose theirs never a "right" time its basically when ever you and your OH feel ready. If you feel that your happy with what you've achieved so far in your life and dont feel that having children is going to stop you doing anything too important to you such as if you wanted to spend 6 months travel oz and didnt want to be in the family way during this time or dragging a baby around with you, then thats not the time for you!!!! In my case, Im happy with where I am in my life to a certain extent. Im might not be flashed with cash, travelled the world, got the top job but I feel I am some what ready to have a new addition to our family which you can see from my ticker Im 14 weeks pregnant. Im delighted to be pregnant as we really especially me wanted this but at the same time I worry how we'll cope financially with the whole recession as my job isnt too safe at the moment, I worry about how we're going to cope with a new born as we're at a good stage with dd at the moment (except for dd crawling into our bed most nights which has to be nipped in the bud) and to start all over again is daunting but at the end of the day I know I couldnt wish for anything different right now, If I wasnt pregnant now Id want to be and we cant delay it any longer as we're getting married early 2011 so we need some time to juggle the family and plan the wedding so Basicaly what im saying is you'll know some what when your really ready but you'll always have the odd concern as to how your going to cope ? are we really ready? Should we have waited another year, its all about how much you want it and ifyou wouldnt mind waiting another while or not Best of luck with your decision. Heres some baby dust if youve decided to go ahead :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: :babydust: