When to get Pregnant

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

bubble Posts: 115
Hello, I'm interested to know when any of you knew it was "the right time" to get pregnant? We're just married, I'm 32 & all my friends already have kids. My husband wants to wait for a year or two but I'm slightly worried about fertility & would like to start trying before then. But I'm also concerned about how I would ever manage to work afterwards, I'm in a career that has longish hours and a fair bit of travel & I wouldn;t want to give up completely. I think I want kids & would regret it if I didn;t but its such a life changing experience I'm nervous. Did you all just know it was right or did you think it was something that had to be done !! Thanks B
pinkbride Posts: 173
hi bubble, i think there have been a couple of discussions on this topic, if you do a search you might find them anyway in answer to your question, i did a lot of thinking about the same thing a couple of years ago ,around the time me and hubby bought our house. a few months after we moved into our house my hubby was eager to have a baby but i put him off cos we were 26 and i wanted to have a couple of years in our own house to enjoy our freedom,social life etc.. but i did want to start a family before i was 30 anyway we got engaged when we were 27 and got married the year after. we had decided to let nature take its course after the wedding and as it happens i got pregnant straight away, i'm just over 4 months now. it was the right time for us cos i felt we had plenty of time to enjoy being on our own, our house is completely decorated now, we're both in good jobs. but having said that i don't think theres ever really a perfect time, i still get a little freaked out at the thoughts of having a baby in 5 months but you just have to go for it i suppose !
bubble Posts: 115
Congratulations Pink Bride! You got pregnant really quickly! Hope its going well & thanks for your post. B
Bulmers Posts: 1281
Hi Bubble I'll be almost 32 when I marry in 2007, and we plan to try for a family immediately. I do get freaked out reading about all the statistics regarding older mothers. If you can financially afford it, I think it would be a good idea to start trying now - work wise there will never be a good time. It might be a good idea to talk discreetly to mothers in your company without giving too much away regarding what their experiences were. Also, God forbid if there are problems or it takes a while for your body to adjust (if you're on the pill or injection), it can become a race against time, especially if you want more than one. Best of luck
pinkbride Posts: 173
thanks bubble, everything has been fine so far thank god yeah it was very quick i had convinced myself that it would take months and was very surprised when i got pregnant at the first attempt, i'm not complaining of course! we're happy with the way things worked out i agree with what amarach said, there never really is a good time and if there are other things against you , you might get to a stage where time is running out that was one reason why i wanted to have a baby before i was 30 cos i know a lot of people who started families in their 30's and then it was a big rush to have their second and third child, i just didn't want to put that pressure on myself. anyway best of luck whatever you decide.
snozberry Posts: 1212
hiya, in my own experience I think you both have to decide you want to try. If hubby wants to wait why dont you save now for a big holiday somewhere where you would always loved to have gone together, whether it be a safari or vegas or whatever....and decide to start trying after that. At least then you may feel more settled - dont know if I am explaining this right?? Not that you cant have holidays with babies (we went to Oz last year with an under 2!) but might just make it all the better to have a last mad holiday fling together!! :wink: I am 37 and due my 2nd in Feb. Had number 1 when I was 33. I had always imagined I would have been married with kids by 25 but thats just the way my life went! some of my closest friends had babies young and they are 16 and 17 now - I joke saying they can babysit for mine!! :lol: there is no right time and although its something you can plan for nobody knows what lies ahead! I would think that maybe wait a year and in this time try and get yourself fit (if you need to) give up smoking and cut down on drinking - these will all help in the preparation of fertility - lots of people have never had to think of these things as it just 'happens' but it will help your pregnancy in the long run. Also if you do come off contraception, you could start taking folic acid every day - just in case!! Best of luck with whatever you decide! :D
Minxie Posts: 884
snoz why do you think being fit will affect having a baby....does this increase your chances of conceiving? Thats pretty much where I am at the moment. I gained a lot of weigh on honeymoon (just back) and I want to get that off and get fit before having a go at kids. Have just kicked the smokes too so I'm hoping to do one thing at a time...but I just thought I'd ask you....
buddingmrs Posts: 322
Peaches, being a lot overweight (we're talking in the obese category) and a smoker has a negative impact on your fertility and your husbands too as does drinking a lot of alcohol and electric blankets apparently!
Minxie Posts: 884
Well I'm not obese. I'm a size 14-16 and 5'7" so I would say overweight but not obese. I took up smoking again for the wedding and I'm on day 3 of kicking them. I don't drink much alcohol and I don't do electric blankets so we'll just wait and see!!! Thanks for the advice!
Mama Dora Posts: 14987
sorry.... :oops: