Where do you stand ont his issue

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clucky Posts: 26471
Right - following on from the how much do you drink had row in work with lads yesterday on this issue. A girl goes out to a nightclub dresses somewhat scantily - she proceeds to get totally locked and is out of her head by the end of the evening. she goes home with a bloke and they do whatever - the next morning she wakes up with no memory of who he is, where she is and leaves. she then proceeds to claim rape - bloke gets arrested and charged case goes to court and he is found not guilty. where do you stand on this - this actually happened to one of the lads in works cousin in dublin - he lost his job and was made to move due to this allegation. I personally think girls who do this are making people who are genuinely raped afraid of coming forward as they feel they won't get justice
MRS NYEB2007 Posts: 3275
I feel the same as you Lucky, once you consent to sex there can be no rape, drunk or not unless you utter the words no or push the attacker off and imply "NO" then IMO no rape has take place. I know some people are of the opinion that the way a girl dresses she'd be looking for it, this is not the case its an individuals choice as to what they wear and they would not be "scantily dressed" to get raped but beacuse they like their clothes.
clucky Posts: 26471
I also don't think it is fair that they name men charged with rape on the news etc as if it is a false accusation then their lives are ruined and everyone knows who they are I think in some circumstances keeping the identity of the accused secret as well as the victim should be brought into force
MRS NYEB2007 Posts: 3275
If they are found in no certain terms that no rape was committed, then yes the accused should not be named but if found guilty then name and shame big time!! I feel very sorry for victims of rape, can't even imagine what it would feel like to be invaded like that. God forbid if it ever happened would like to think I'd be strong enough to go public all the way , interviews and stuff andd try to bring other victims out
Wifey-Pooh Posts: 2125
It is grossly unfair that this girl decided to call 'rape'. I think some immature girls get egged on by their friends, feel shitty the next day, whatever... and don't take into account that by accusing a guy of something as serious as rape can ruin his life. It never leaves.
ChloeOct06 Posts: 1466
on the other side of the coin... i know someone who was raped 15 years ago.. she was in a nightclub, left with some guy and he raped her... he clainmed she was lying, and she got a lot of crap from people saying that she was lying. it's destroyed her life... i don't know why anyone would make up a lie like that.. lots of people have had drunken one night stands and are ashamed of themselves, i don't know why you'd bring a whole rape trial on yourself.. it's a horrible situation.. we just have to hope that the truth comes out. i agree with you that both accused and victims names should be kept out of the paper.
Mistified Posts: 2680
It is disgraceful alright and must be terrifying if you're a bloke.I suppose they have to be extra careful when choosing their sexual partners on a night out, that the girl is co-herent and fully lucid but you never know what silly cow will still turn around later and claim to be a victim. Some of these cases you here about are the typical sort of thing that happens with blokes and I would never have dreamed of calling them rape. I remember snogging a guy at a house party a few years back and he brought me into a bedroom and I, with consent lay there with him, fully clothed and was happy to snog him. He then lay on me and undid my clothes and forced himself into me, despite me telling him to stop and that I didn't want to take things that far. He penetrated me and I managed to get away. I was terrfied of unproteced sex. However it was months later when I decided that this could have counted as rape. At the time I just thought "asshole" but accepted that I had agreed to go into the bedroom and lie down with him etc. Some girls will claim all sorts when a lot less than that has happened to them.
AislinnS Posts: 1253
While the whole notion that some girls "ask for it" is completely offensive, I think a lot of girls need to be more sensible about their actions. By all means go out, get drunk and have a good night, but if you're going to a club wearing a handkerchief and a pair of heels, and get so drunk that you're passing out, then you're going to attracts all sorts of bad attention. You can go to all the self defence classes in the world, and rant on about women's right to equality (apparently that can also mean drinking men under the table to prove you can be one of the lads :roll: ) but what's the point if you're gonna go out looking and acting like jailbait? There's a difference between stupid behaviour (no matter how stupid) and rape. Waking up in the morning with the hangover from hell in a strange place with a strange bloke beside, and a condom on the floor might be frightening and worrying, but I don't think it should be called rape. I think we've taken the PC thing way too far to be honest. Placing a finger on someones hand can be called assault, telling a risqué joke is sexual harassment. Fecks sake, kids can't even sit on Santas lap at Christmas time any more because the poor guys in the red suits are too afraid of being called paedo's. Flame away :)
annie1727 Posts: 193
[quote] but what's the point if you're gonna go out looking and acting like jailbait? OMG! What is it with people like. If I want to wear a short skirt going out I will wear it, likewise a low cut top, I don't think that gives any man the right to be lets say inapproriate! I think any woman should in this day and age should be able to wear whatever she wants without people looking at her saying well she is obviously up for it or looking for it! As for the whole getting hammered and falling aroud the place, this can most definetly be done but do it with friends, I've done it manys a time and so have my friends but we look out for each other but in saying that we know when enough is enough. It just gets on my wick big time when people start talking about women asking for it because of what they are wearing, total bull. Girls who cry rape when it wasn't are just out and out b*itches and should be named and have their picture in the paper and be made pay for any court charges, solicitors fees etc.
clucky Posts: 26471
I have to say I agree 100% with every one of aislinn s's points It is all very well saying stay with your friends for the night but inevitably people get seperated in night clubs when they start 'hooking-up''. It is not acceptable to cry rape just cause you got locked and went home with someone cause you ''lost your friends''